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Member Since 25 Apr 2015
Offline Last Active May 28 2020 08:16 PM

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In Topic: DPDR for 7 yrs. I think I’m healing after finally seeking help.

25 April 2020 - 08:34 PM

Hi. My name is Sandra. I have had chronic DPDR for almost 8 yrs now. I suffered in silence up until April of last year. I didn’t know what this was.. I didn’t know what I was experiencing. I thought I was going crazy and therefore didn’t seek help sooner. Keeping this to myself has been extremely difficult. It saddens me to finally speak out and try to make sense of it all. I started seeing an EMDR therapist on April of last year(2019) to address my childhood and adolescent years. I hadn’t had NOT one moment of reality until a few months after I started therapy. So something must be changing within me. There are a few things that seem different (1example: cars on the road look different- more 3D now) and therefore I believe I’m healing.

When I started EMDR therapy back in April, I also started meditating to get myself to RELAX. Also, for the most part I do my 5-4-3–2-1 exercises daily atleast once a day. This exercise is supposed to help you get grounded especially when you’re having a panic attack (5things you see, 4 things you feel,3 things you hear, 2 that you smell and 1 that you taste). I don’t have many panic attacks (maybe 3 since 7yrs ago) but I still do these exercises daily since I have noticed that when I go a few days without doing them I feel less in touch with my surroundings. Right before having my few seconds of realty a few months ago I had gone almost 6 weeks with minimal amount of social media, cellphone usage (surf the net), I would only use my phone to call people or to research whatever I needed to for school or work.

Since April I have also stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine.

My next step is to get back to my consistency in healthy eating, and exercising.
I am almost done with my Bachelors in Nursing so my stress level will significantly decrease.(It’s hard to do school work and have toddlers).
I plan to start looking to see how else I can reduce my stress and anxiety without medications.
I work 12 hr shift and most of my time I spend it looking at computers so I got antiblue light glasses with have helped with my fogginess that I get 9 hrs into my shift.

I’ve read that you have to ignore DPDR to heal. I agree and disagree with this statement. Simply ignoring DPDR isn’t going to cure it- I would know because once I thought I couldn’t heal (almost 8 yrs ago) I decided to ignore it and it NEVER went away not for one second. So ignoring it isn’t going to help. I feel like addressing the feeling and acknowledging that we are experiencing DRDP is crucial, getting a therapist then eventually backing off from always thinking about DPDR is the way to go.

When I started therapy I only had hopes that maybe this was my answer to this horrible night mare. I have tucked away my feelings all these years and I am finally acknowledging my feelings over DRDP. A part of me still tells me that I can’t heal. It’s a constant battle within myself. My mind tells me that I can’t heal but my logic tells me to just show up to therapy, my meditations etc. and that I will eventually see it through. I have had a few seconds of reality and yet my mind still tries to make me doubt that I did. It saddens my heart that I am on this side of reality and I will continue on my road to recovery. When my mind tries to make me believe I won’t ever heal I watch this video:

I’ve also hear that you have to make peace with DRDP. So I’ve tried to think of what can I learn from this....



Hey Sandra. I am so happy to find another nurse on here!!. I am an LVN and about to start RN school in June. I am glad I read this to give me the strength to be a nurse while suffering. It's been 6 years already for me, but each year has been better than the last. Thanks for keeping strong throughout this crazy experience. Be safe!