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Member Since 26 Nov 2014
Offline Last Active Sep 25 2020 12:52 PM

#621502 Can someone please tell me whether or not they relate to this?

Posted by butcheniho on 06 September 2020 - 08:56 AM

Hey there, 

Everything you described, bar the infection, is anxiety related. I'm now recovered and have experienced headaches and muscle pain and still occasionally get headaches when I'm anxious. Check out this for some reassurance https://www.healthli...iety-headaches¬†I actually got over my DP by finding ways to relieve the muscle tension... I posted my story in the recovery stories thread if you want to check it out, feel free to fire me a message if you'd like to... 

#621406 Recovered after 6 years!

Posted by butcheniho on 03 September 2020 - 07:30 AM

Congratulations from another recovered sufferer!

Thank you, congratulations to you too!

#501818 CBD Oil and more

Posted by butcheniho on 25 September 2017 - 11:25 AM

Yeah weed was the final straw 

#501738 CBD Oil and more

Posted by butcheniho on 25 September 2017 - 08:44 AM

The guy I buy it off has a website, he'll post to anywhere in the UK for ¬£2  https://www.ecwid.co...re/cbdscotland/

#501306 CBD Oil and more

Posted by butcheniho on 24 September 2017 - 12:21 AM

@Broken, That's interesting. haha yeah, it does sound dodgy, maybe I'll find it's secretly laced with heroin, would explain why I feel so much better... I spend ¬£60 on a 10ml bottle which lasts about 2 and a half weeks. I suppose it's quite a lot of money, but worth it in my opinion. 


@Light in the dark, Not severe sleep problems, I used to early on in DP, same with libido, neither are an issue any more. CBD has improved my sleep quality though. Are you studying it as part of a course in an academic way, or just for your own interest? Are you talking about how bodily functions are maybe inhibited by anxiety? Libido and sleep were definitely inhibited by anxiety and DP and maybe still are, it's impossible to know until it's improved further. 

#500906 CBD Oil and more

Posted by butcheniho on 23 September 2017 - 10:08 AM

Hey folks,


I haven't logged in or posted on here for a while. I just wanted to sing the praises of CBD oil... This legal substance (in the U.K. at least) is one of the non psychoactive components of marijuana (meaning it doesn't get you high). It's very effective against anxiety, kind of how I'd expect any anti anxiety medication to work. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the knot in your stomach when feeling anxious, this substance unties that and frees your mind, the more you take it the more the knot and anxious feelings decrease. I live in Glasgow Scotland, there's a dude that sells it out of an old police box on the high street, he says the more you take the less you need (seems mad to me since this is the opposite to every substance i've ever taken), he seems like he knows his stuff though. I've taken it in a couple of ways, vaping it in a vape tank (smok baby) and as drops under the tongue. I can report that both are effective, dropping it under the tongue feels like it lasts a bit longer. I take 3-6 drops of 10% concentration CBD oil under my tongue 3-4 times a day. The positives are beautiful. It's stopped me being anxious in social situations, my biggest hurdle. It stops me tossing and turning at night worrying about stupid things. The only side effect... if I take maybe 10 drops it makes me a little sleepy. I am still derealised (depersonalisation started clearing up a while back) but the periods of time in which i'm aware of it are becoming fewer.


I know a lot of you will have gotten this from smoking weed, why would you want to put something in your body that's from the plant that's given you DP/DR? Well the two main components of weed, THC and CBD, need to be balanced. People breed weed to have a super high THC content, this is what gets you really really high, causes high arousal and subsequently anxiety and panic attacks. If this was balanced with a high content of CBD, I believe most of us wouldn't be in this situation. I suppose CBD negates the negative effects of THC, whilst letting the positive ones flourish. CBD won't make you feel anxious or panicky or anything like that. Just chilled and content with time. 


To give you guys some reassurance I've suffered the worst DP has to offer. I've had this for over 3 years, induced by acid, mushrooms, a healthy dose of marijuana and a predisposition to this way of thinking. I've had all the existential fears, the loss of emotions, brain fog, detached memories, blurred vision, panic attacks, vomiting from such intense anxiety, shakes, complete lack of self confidence etc etc. None of this is an issue for me anymore, just a bit of derealisation which I can handle, it rarely interferes with my life. 


Some other things I've been doing recently, nofap (stopping masturbation) and taking cold showers every morning for the last 4 months, replacing my terrible diet with HUEL (an oat based powder which you consume like a shake, containing everything your body needs, highly highly recommended, I think the U.S. equivalent is called soylent), meditation and exercise. But by far the best of these has been CBD oil, I'd really recommend considering this if you're struggling, you can buy it online, it's not cheap, but really effective. You need to get a special kind if you're wanting to stick it in a vaporiser (should be mixed with propylene glycol or similar). 


I just want to give you some hope. I thought all was lost, I'd lost my social skills, my sense of humour, really wanted to be close to people but didn't know how. I'm really starting to enjoy social interaction again. I think the biggest factor is the CBD.


Anyway, I noticed there aren't posts about CBD and just wanted to make you guys aware of it. Any questions please hit me up. I can remember what it's like to be in the early stages, thinking that you're different to everyone else, you're never going to get better, everything's hopeless and depressing (not an issue for me anymore). I'd like to do what I can to help anyone through this. I really believe DP/DR is a blessing in disguise. If you can get through this, you can get through anything. You develop a stronger mind, ultimately a stronger sense of self and greater self awareness, you realise what's important in life and see through the bullshit. 

#349430 This weekend into today

Posted by butcheniho on 15 February 2015 - 05:40 PM

It does get better, trust me. I've had it for 6 months now and I'm so close to being completely back in reality again. I never thought it would happen to me, everyone who's recovered says that they thought that it wouldn't happen to them. Now I can see light at the end of the tunnel, don't let that get you down though, I remember reading about people getting out of it and being really jealous, there's no need to be. Just know that you have the power to get out of it yourself, just like everyone else who has recovered has. I find the recovery stories section on this forum helpful and a handful of youtubers have made some great videos. The highlight for me being this guy's https://www.youtube..../raleighrailfan. Also I recommend giving L-Theanine a try, I feel like this has helped me a lot. It's basically the stuff in tea that makes you feel relaxed, concentrated into a pill. Don't give up hope, just keep pressing on and getting through it and KNOW that it will get better, because it will, of course you'll be doubtful, everyone who has this is, but the doubt is the anxiety talking.


DP messes with your head and makes you feel hopeless, but you can slowly cultivate hope if you just keep trying to be a bit more positive each day. Don't drink alcohol, I've done it before and it makes you feel worse, but by no means is it permanent, get yourself in a positive mindset by eating healthily and going outside. Also, there have been many times where i have gotten worse in and amongst a general trend of getting better, but when I'm feeling worse I forget all about how I felt better and think that, no, I wasn't actually feeling any better at all. This is the DP messing you around again, don't listen to it. Just accept DP for what it is, treat it like your little scared pet that you have to look after. If it helps, I got mine from smoking skunk almost everyday for 4 years and taking various other drugs in that time(MDMA, LSD, Mushrooms). I used to get it every so often as a kid too.  I also have aspergers (a form of high functioning autism) and this leaves me prone to anxiety and OCD. If I can come this close to recovery, so can you!

#348443 I made it through, you will too!

Posted by butcheniho on 22 January 2015 - 08:02 AM

I'm pleased for you that you're out, but really, you have to be careful saying stuff like "There is only one thing that can cause permanent depersonalization when it is not medically related, and that is from weed and other drugs." Don't you realise that that's going to set off panic in many people? I got mine from weed and luckily I'm at a point now where your comment didn't affect me, because at this point in time I'm feeling more close to being recovered than ever, but a few months ago it would've really made me freak out. There are plenty of stories of people being fully recovered from weed induced DP. It's the same mechanism however you get it, whether it's drugs, stress, anxiety, whatever, it doesn't matter. 

#346434 What's really helping me the most!

Posted by butcheniho on 26 November 2014 - 07:33 AM

Ok, so something I've seen with regards to recovering on these forums is people talking about being present and in the moment. I didn't really give this much weight in my head, but now I realise just how important it is. When people talk about using distraction as a method for recovery, this is essentially what being present means, but also I've realised that when you're not distracted you still have to be present. For the last few days I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book called the Power of Now. EVERYONE on this site (and everyone in the world) needs to read this book, it's incredible. In this book he's basically teaching you how to live in the present moment and not in the past/future. He teaches that the only thing that truly exists is the now and projecting into the future is what causes anxiety.


I remember when I first started reading about how to rid yourself of DP/DR and I was reading things like "you need to change your way of thinking" and I really didn't know how to do that and what aspect of my way of thinking I needed to change. I feel like THIS is the fundamental thing that needs to be changed about MY way of thinking and probably a lot of your guys' ways of thinking too. My evidence for this is a number of posts on here about how people have used this book as a means for getting out of DP/DR. There was a youtuber called Sean Madden that I keep seeing popping up in forums and on other people's videos. Unfortunately his videos aren't up anymore and I never got to see them but everyone who mentions him says how much his videos helped them. Supposedly he recovered in 2 months after reading the Power of Now and practising the teachings. Some people say that this book didn't help them at all, but I feel like if you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, this book is for you and you need at least give it a shot.


I've been thinking for the past couple of days about when I didn't have DP/DR and the amount of time I'd spend living in the moment vs living in the past/present and just how that balance has shifted now I have DP/DR. I feeling really very hopeful that this is the key to recovery and hope that some of you will be able to relate to what I've said and will go out and buy this book.