I have another topic on here which explains my entire circumstance. I have had DP on and off for about 8 years. I usually get a full blown panic attack for whatever reason ever 6-12 months and it comes with a big dose of DP.. the DP usually lasts 1 week of full blown intense craziness, i feel absolutely no relief in that time, i get suicidal thoughts, i question everything, everyone and i really feel insane.
Anyway, so the last few days over the holidays, i'm finding i get really short bursts of DP - so strong that i'm scared it will turn into a huge bout of DP that will last for weeks. however i do have a way of fending the feeling off, i usually do something to stop it. I stomp my foot or hit something if i am alone, or i make a noise or jump up really quickly to be alone, i know this draws attention to me, but i also realise, oh shit i look like a maniac quick act normal, and usually i do, because someone is looking at me and i feel very in the moment as if to say nope don't do it brain, not a good time.
i'm just wondering if a lot of other people snap themselves out sometimes? i know some weird things can help. clenching your fists, hitting something can give you a physical sensation can remind you yep i'm alive, and other things such as stomping your foot or making some noise can help you snap out too.
Let me know your techniques?
Merry Xmas guys, i'm really sorry if anyone is really stuck inside their DP world right now, I feel for you!
I just want to thank you all for being here through all of my hard times, I read through these posts and forums like a bible when i'm going having DP and anxiety it helps so much knowing that you are not alone.
Anyway, this is my story. I'm 24, Female, Live in Australia, this is going to be a long story.
At the age of 16 I was given Lexapro for mild depression, at that time I don't think i really needed it, i didn't take it every day, i didn't take it properly at all and was getting brain zaps and all sorts of issues. after about 3 months of this a friend and I heard that taking a large dose of nutmeg would give you a high, we tried this, i felt nothing. 2 minutes after she left my house i had my first ever SEVERE panic attack, I believe now that it was from being anxious about what I had just taken and that it probably had no effect on me at all. At this age i had no idea what the hell was happening, i made my friend come back and get me, we drove to a quiet place near a river and i ran around like a crazy person i even said please just let me die i dont know what is happening. I laid in the back of her car for hours i was so scared i was going bat shit crazy and if anyone else saw me i would be sent to a mental institute, i 100% believed that at the time. I thought i was doomed to feel this way forever. I stayed at her house for 3 days without telling anyone, her family didn't even know i was there. I finally felt slightly better and went home. I continued on living my regular life and I suppose i just got better after a while. At this point I certainly didn't know it was a panic attack, and i never told any of my family.
For the next few years i would go through bouts of anxiety and some panic attacks but not really too bad. I then moved away from my home town to the city. Mostly it was pretty well. And then I would start getting a huge panic attack every 6 months. I couldn't even put a name on it at this point. I saw GP's I went to a neurologist who said maybe i have abscence seizures, i had a CT scan... Nothing wrong with me. No one even thought to tell me it's anxiety and depersonalisation. That's about 8 years of my life now that I had no idea what was even happening. The most recent panic attack i had was a couple of weeks ago, I have had DP with every panic attack but this time it has lingered around, so i looked it up. And WOW have I felt so much comfort from actually understanding what is wrong with me/us. I can understand that my brain just needed to check out for a while. (I have had big changes moving house, finding out my grandfather is an aboriginal man out of nowhere). Lots of things. I was sick and I was out walking, I started to panic because i needed to lay down but we were to far away from home so i started to panic and get nervous.
I started stomping my feet, tensing my whole body pulling at my hair squinting all of the things you guys probably go through when DP and panic attacks set in.
I got home from my walk and I was a mess, my partner doesn't understand mental illness which makes life a lot harder he said "you're home now why are you even panicing still". Just a real soul crusher at the time, i mean i wish i knew. I came inside ran to the toilet started to vomit and hit the toilet, i do things like that to know i can actually feel and i'm actually a real living person. (which in turn freaks my partner out and i feel even worse for being a psycho).
It's been about 3 weeks since the main attack, I started 25mg Zoloft 2 weeks ago, was going alright tried to up it to 50mg last night felt awful today anxious and jittery, heart palpitations, nightmares. All the stuff they tell you about, but i do think the 25mg helped a little and now if i can handle 50 i will be okay. I also take valium as needed which has only been given to me this year because as i said no one ever told me i had panic disorder, i had 100 blood tests and nothing was wrong with me.
I also started seeing a psychologist and and acupuncturist and both seem to be going alright. I haven't got a strong family network and my friends don't really live nearby either so i spend 95% of my time with my partner who really doesn't understand what i'm going through and at times i feel guilty - for example if i can't get out of bed or i pull out of doing things because i just can't move or leave the house. it all makes no sense to him.
I eat a fairly healthy diet, I am active, I believe i'm mostly a happy person but my anxiety has been such an underlying problem. I am shy (didn't realise that's anxiety) i get nervous in crowds (anxiety) i can't be too far from home (anxiety). I think anxiety is overlooked these days because depression is the word people use and anxiety just falls under that umbrella.
I appreciate all of the things i've read on here, good and bad. I love hearing your experiences and I want people to be able to approach me. I'll let you know how the zoloft goes, usually my DP would have cleared up by now. I feel devestated when i read that people have DP for months and years at a time. There will be a point in your life where you will feel okay and you will see some hope. Thanks again guys!