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Member Since 16 May 2014
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#398673 Feel autistic

Posted by silverhawk on 01 December 2016 - 03:20 AM

I come off as being autistic to a lot of people and I have a theory behind it. My theory is that two people need to have normal waking consciousness in order to emotionally connect with each other. Since a DP'd person's conciousness is altered and therefore his perception of reality is altered (since your consciousness perceives reality), his mind is not in the same "world" that a normal person's mind is in, which is reality. Since a DP'd person's mind and a normal person's mind aren't in the same "worlds", it's impossible for the two to emotionally connect with each other. Because the normal person cannot emotionally connect with the DP'd person, he might think that the DP'd person is autistic, since autism is related to impairments in forming interpersonal relationships.
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#390881 I'm starting to think that I have something worse than DP/DR.

Posted by silverhawk on 14 November 2016 - 10:37 PM

I'm starting to think that I have something worse than DP/DR.
DP and DR are psychiatric SYMPTOMS, whereas for me it feels like a STATE, an altered state of consciousness.

My state: I'm in a walking coma. Emotions and feelings shut off. Unresponsive to the outside world. Unable to feel or experience or emotionally connect. I'm not "here" at all times. I'm completely disconnected from the present moment.

It's like a sleepwalking state, dream state, trance state, blank state, zoned out state, daydreaming state, or a zombie state.

It feels like as if I'm in a dream or dead, so it feels like a medical emergency.

I can't remember the first half of my life.

To other people, I look preoccupied, introverted, flat, numb, blank, emotionless, zoned out, or look like I'm daydreaming.

Since there is absolutely no emotions in my eyes, people get uncomfortable whenever I make direct eye contact. Therefore, I have to look at the mouth whenever I talk to someone.

Everything I do is based off of learned behavior, responses, etc. I have no idea what's going on out in the real world.

It's like everyone else is going forward in time, but I'm stuck in time. I'm not mentally aging anymore.

It's hard to keep my eyes open most of the day, because my brain is literally shut down. It's like i'm unconscious but able to move and speak.

I feel like if I "wake up" from this state, I'm not going to be able to remember anything that had happened during the time I was in this state, like waking up from a coma.

Any thoughts?

#357062 Do you understand better when youre listening by making eye contact or lookin...

Posted by silverhawk on 09 September 2015 - 03:21 AM

Looking people in the eye has become so strange with DP. I use to always look people in the eye to show affirmation and/or respect. But now with DP, if I look at someone in the eye, I too become paranoid and worry about how I look and how creepy or strange I appear. And I become so focused on this that what the person is actually saying is just background noise.

Exactly. When I look at people in the eye I feel like they can see that I'm looking at them with a numb face, which makes me feel like I'm making them uncomfortable.

#355961 The Ultimate List of DP Causes

Posted by silverhawk on 14 August 2015 - 11:43 PM

I'd like to point out that in the case of drugs, it may not be the chemical properties of the drugs themselves that precipitated the DP, but the experience of panic that you had while on them. The case of DP/DR that I had was brought on by a horrible trip with magic mushrooms, and for the longest time I thought that it was the mushrooms alone that caused it- maybe the psilocybin got stuck to my thalamus or something! This wasn't the case- hallucinogens have a way of unearthing all of the psychological turmoil you've been repressing throughout your life, and the trip can be so bad and bizarre that you completely freak out but still don't know that it was coming from your issues, not the visuals and chemicals of the drug.

Maybe it can occur only from the drugs, but if you are changing your lifestyle, doing all you can and it isn't resolving, I would keep this in mind.

Yeah you're right, most of these drugs can trigger DP in people with underlying psychological problems, but not cause DP themselves. There are tons of people who use these drugs on a daily basis, but remain immune to DP because they do not have an underlying psychological problem. But some of these drugs (mostly pharmaceutical drugs) can cause DP themselves. For example, a woman going through minocycline therapy was experiencing DP during the therapy, but the DP went away after the minocycline was discontinued. In that case, the minocycline itself was causing the DP. But if your DP continues after discontinuing a drug, then a psychological problem is causing your DP (for example, smoking pot once and DP not going away, which means the cause was something psychological (such as panic, anxiety, and trauma) and smoking the pot was just a trigger).

#355950 Your dp/dr could be caused by something organic.

Posted by silverhawk on 14 August 2015 - 04:28 PM

If you have dp or dr, PLEASE get checked for an organic (physical) cause. Dp and dr are only symptoms, and they can be caused by an organic problem, such as inner ear disorders, temporal lobe epilepsy, lyme disease, head injury, etc, etc. After you rule out organic causes, THEN you can safely assume that it is a psychological problem.

Complete list of DP causes: http://www.dpselfhel...t-of-dp-causes/

#354344 The Ultimate List of DP Causes

Posted by silverhawk on 07 July 2015 - 04:26 PM

2) Rule out neurological causes by having an MRI or CT scan (brain scan) and an EEG (brain wave test)


I am curious if you have information to back up neurobiological causes, the opinions whether DPD, DRD is visible on MRI, CT, EEG, fMRI, qEEG et cetera are not unified.


Ok, I think you may have a misunderstanding so I'll try to explain:


Neurobiological causes are not the same as the neurological causes. Neurological causes mean that they directly affect the brain tissue (physical brain diseases, such as Alzheimer's Disease, and brain tumours). Neurobiological causes mean the chemical imbalance causes (neurotransmitter problems) or brain receptor problems.


Depersonalization as a symptom is not the same as depersonalization as a disorder.


Depersonalization symptom can be caused by physical problems, neurological problems, psychological problems, and drug use.


If your depersonalization symptom is not caused by physical (rule out by having a blood test and urine test), neurological (rule out by having a MRI or CT scan, as well as an EEG), or drug use problems, then your DP is caused by a psychological problem.


If your depersonalization symptom is caused because of anxiety (DP worsens when anxiety worsens), then the diagnosis is anxiety or an anxiety disorder (depending on the severity of your anxiety). If your depersonalization symptom is caused by schizophrenia, then the diagnosis is schizophrenia. If you do not have any other psychiatric problems (no anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, etc), then the diagnosis is depersonalization disorder.


Psychiatric disorders are caused by 2 things: neurobiological problems and psychological problems.


Most psychiatric disorders are caused by a combination of neurobiological problems and psychological problems. For example, clinical depression can be caused by a combination of the neurotransmitter serotonin being too low and a psychological problem, such as environmental and social factors, or a death of a loved one.


The exact cause of depersonalization disorder is unknown, but it is thought to be caused by a combination of neurobiological (agonizing of the kappa opioid receptor) and psychological problems (trauma).


And to answer your question, no brain imaging technique can detect depersonalization disorder, although some research shows that fMRIs can show different results for people with depression, DPD, and PTSD.

#354329 The Ultimate List of DP Causes

Posted by silverhawk on 07 July 2015 - 05:42 AM

Hi guys,

So I've decided to create the go-to list of the causes of depersonalization to hopefully help some people out :)

NOTE: This is a list of the causes of depersonalization symptom, not depersonalization disorder. The cause of depersonalization disorder is unknown at this time.

NOTE 2: This list only includes the direct causes of DP, not the causes of the causes of DP. For example, low testosterone can cause depression, and depression can cause DP, so only depression will be included in the list. Example 2: psychological trauma can cause post-traumatic stress disorder, and PTSD can cause DP, so only PTSD will be included in the list.

The causes of depersonalization are divided into 4 parts: Physical causes, Neurological causes, Psychological causes, and Drug use.

Physical (non-neurological) causes:
1) Heavy metal poisoning
2) Vestibular disorders

Neurological causes:
1) Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
2) Alzheimer's Disease
3) Multiple sclerosis (MS)
4) Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis
5) Neuroborreliosis (Lyme disease)
6) Migraine
7) Brain tumour

8)Brain lesion
9) Head injury
10) Traumatic brain injury

Psychological causes:
1) Stress
2) Anxiety
3) Depression
4) Major depressive disorder
5) Panic/panic attack
6) Panic disorder
7) Bipolar disorder
8)Acute stress disorder
9) Obsessive-compulsive disorder
10) Social anxiety disorder
11) Depersonalization disorder
12) Post-traumatic stress disorder
13) Dissociative identity disorder
14) Schizophrenia
15) Borderline personality disorder
16) Schizotypal personality disorder
17) Schizoid personality disorder
18) Sleep deprivation
19) Life-threatening danger

Drug use:
1) Marijuana
2) LSD
3) Dissociatives
4) Psychedelics
5) Caffeine
6) Alcohol
7) Alcohol withdrawal
9) Minocycline
10) Nitrous oxide
11) Albuterol
12) Nicotine
13) Benzodiazepine dependence
14) Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome
15) Antidepressant discontinuation syndrome

If you have symptoms of depersonalization or derealization, it is important to
1) Rule out physical causes by having a blood test, urine test, and vestibular test
2) Rule out neurological causes by having an MRI or CT scan (brain scan) and an EEG (brain wave test)
3) Ensure that you did not use any drug prior to having DP/DR symptoms.

After you rule out the physical, neurological, and drug causes, you will have to see a psychologist to do a psychological assessment, as well as a psychiatrist to do a psychiatric interview to find the correct diagnosis.

#333401 Neurological perspective of DP/DR?

Posted by silverhawk on 16 May 2014 - 08:58 PM

This is my very first post, and any thoughts/opinions/comments are welcome.


My story goes like this:


 In middle school, I went to an amusement park. There was a haunted house there, and I went inside it. Inside there were a bunch of strobe lights (constantly flashing lights) and I felt “dream-like”. My friend had to guide me through the rest of the haunted house since I kept falling down. After exiting the haunted house, I still felt “dream-like”. 


This dream-like feeling doesn't come and go or happen in episodes. It’s there 24/7. I’ve had it for 5 years after the strobe light incident.


I feel like my mind is not connected to my body. I don’t know what I look like or what other people look like in real life. When I look at myself in the mirror I can’t see myself. I don’t even know if that reflection is really me.


My physical perception of the world feels like I’m living in a dream world. I can’t really explain this feeling to others in words. I know for a fact that my eyes have nothing to do with this. My eyesight is 100% normal. But the world seems so “colorless” or lacking spontaneity.

I feel like I’m not connected to the world or to people. I feel like I have no emotions, and no memory. I feel like a robot or a zombie.


I’m extremely sensitive to brainwashing myself with my own thoughts. For example:

A: I am actually inside a dream. If I commit suicide right now, I will wake up to real life.
B: My whole life, the world, and the people, were a figment of my imagination. None of this actually exists. I created this life all in my head. I am psychotic. Right now, as of this moment, I am in a hospital bed being treated. In real life, I had been psychotic and been in a hospital my whole life.


I know that A and B are not true. I know the life I am living is real life. But if I believe that A or B is true for about 5 minutes, I could actually completely think it is true. Therefore, I’m extremely sensitive to brainwashing myself with my own thoughts.

When I go outside, I start to see myself in 3rd person. I feel like I am “acting” all my body movements, interactions with other people, and emotions. When I see myself in 3rd person, i feel like my brain freezes or gets numb, as if the blood flow in my brain is stopping. When this happens, my emotions get numb.


Around people, especially when they are looking at me, I see myself in 3rd person the most. Therefore, I get emotionally numb around people. When this happens, people tend to look at my face more. Since they are looking at my face more (they notice something’s wrong), I see myself in 3rd person even more, and get emotionally numb even more. The whole cycle repeats.



When I just look at someone, I can see myself looking at them with a “blank stare” (see myself looking at them = 3rd person, blank stare = emotionally numb) and the person gets uncomfortable or look at my face more. Therefore I feel extremely guilty for looking at someone.


My personality is “frozen” from person to person. In other words, I automatically shift personalities when interacting with different people. If I’m shy with a teacher, I do the “shy” personality automatically when I meet that teacher. When  I do a “loud or noisy” personality with a student, I do that exact loud and noisy personality with the student. It is not only personality that gets “frozen”. For each person, I have my own individual way of interacting with them, looking at them, acting out emotions, how I talk, how I move, and how I act. For example if I have a “shy” personality with both teacher A and teacher B, even though I’m shy with both, my personalities are completely different between teacher A and teacher B.


After the strobe light incident, I permanently felt like a dream. But all symptoms slowly started and worsened over the last 5 years. I have a theory that if I get "out" of this "dream", all my other symptoms will automatically go away.


Last year, I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and anxiety disorder. I have met 3 psychiatrists in total. All of them think that the cause is psychological, not neurological. I believe them to a certain extent. I believe that the "dream-like" feeling after the strobe light incident was not caused by something psychological. I believe that it is 100% neurological, but all of my other symptoms were CAUSED by this "dream-like" feeling itself. I know this because after the strobe light incident, for five years, I've had this "dream-like" feeling permanently. But all other symptoms gradually worsened over time and only happen when I'm outside my house or when I'm around other people.


Any thoughts?