Sa-lB - Viewing Profile: Likes - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content

Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


Member Since 16 Jul 2013
Offline Last Active Mar 19 2020 04:47 PM

#367650 Goodbye DPSH

Posted by Sa-lB on 23 March 2016 - 11:39 PM

I don't get on here much anymore and a lot of you probably have no idea who I even am. 
I just wanted to say that I wont be returning to this forum. I'm finally at a point where depersonalization doesn't really bother me now and I don't feel I belong here.
My last post doesn't come with a miracle cure because there sadly isn't one. I think after having had this for 4 years I've learnt how to deal with it, you learn what makes you bad and what makes you better. I think everyone is different and what works for one wont work for others. 
I thought nothing would ever work for me. Believe me I spent a good two years near on hysterical most days. I would barely leave my house. I was a complete panicky mess.
Over the 4 years I have had this I have done things I never even imagined I could do whilst feeling so terrible. 
You never know how close you are to having a good day or having a day that is maybe only a tiny bit better than the one before so please never ever ever ever give up!
Really I just wanted to thank all of you for your support. As strange as it sounds I feel kind of sentimental about this place!
I wish you, each and every one of you all of the luck in the world in everything you do (apart from if you're going to become some sort of weird axe murderer or something along those lines but that goes without saying really!).
Toodle pip  :P

#366094 i feel like my mother should have aborted me

Posted by Sa-lB on 27 February 2016 - 09:51 AM

That's very sad you feel that way and I am sorry you do.

I just wanted to let you know that when I was depressed there were times when I didn't feel like I should have even been born also, but now I'm not in that place anymore I'm so glad I was.

Have you been receiving any help/counselling for your relationship with your mother? If not maybe it's something you should look into.

I hope you feel happier soon babybowrain

#365649 Keep having the weirdest dreams.

Posted by Sa-lB on 17 February 2016 - 05:37 PM

Idk what to tell you but there is a forum for lucid dreamers, they may have some relation with this sort of thing and may have some advice for you:

Thank you ThoughtOnFire I will check it out :)

#363390 False Memories and Confusion

Posted by Sa-lB on 06 January 2016 - 11:00 AM

I think this is definitely part of anxiety. I also have also had this issue in the past.


The memories for me came with a feeling of deja-vu and also would cause my anxiety go to 0 to 10 real quick as they had a creepy feel to them or something about them didn't seem right.


Like you said they were insignificant memories or memories that may not have even happened. 


I think what makes them stick around or happen more frequently is that 'knee jerk' reaction you give them. I treated them the same as I would an intrusive thought and slowly it went away. 

#362956 The End of Our Relationship (Due to Anxiety gone that leads to attitude chang...

Posted by Sa-lB on 30 December 2015 - 06:33 AM


Anybody can give me some suggestion after look all my life story here?
1. New year is coming soon. If i wanted to send my wishes to her, is that necessary or not necessary? and why?
2. Her birthday is on next month 22nd January 2016. Should i buy a present for her and send her wishes without letting her know is me? or just as usual? or don't give at all and why?
3. As your information, we are going Japan together with her friends. We didn cancelled our trip and we still go Japan on 23rd of January, (my birthday on 31st of January). I am trying to let go of this trip but at the same time i don't want her to feel guilty and let her feel that i am immature of letting go this trip, but somehow what should i do during the trip?
Please give me some suggestion. Need it so badly. Thanks. 



1. I would wish them a happy new year and send your best wishes.


2. I would wish them a happy birthday if the relationship didn't end badly, I would not buy them a gift or send an anonymous one. Why would you send a gift to someone who just broke up with you? 


3. I don't think I would even go on the trip, you are her ex boyfriend. If I've not read this wrongly then you are going on a trip with her and just her friends? not yours?. You're going to feel like some weird tag along who doesn't seem to get the hint!

#362903 ''I am not normal''

Posted by Sa-lB on 29 December 2015 - 07:54 AM

I often see people with mental health problems use this phrase and in the past I've often thought it a lot about myself and have felt shame at the fact that I maybe don't act like the people I surround myself with. As in I thought I'm maybe a bit weirder than others, maybe a bit more out of control in some respects and maybe don't have the same aspirations as them........


I have wished I was skinnier, taller, had bigger breasts, happier, bigger butt, had a better job, was better educated, prettier, had a steady relationship, trusted people more, literally everything under the sun and to list them all would take me all day. Over the years I have taken a beating from myself on a daily basis by basically wishing I was anyone but myself.


I have said to many people over these last 4 years that ''I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!!!!'' or ''I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE THEM OR YOU OR ANYONE BUT ME''. I've even had people say to me ''Why can't you act like a normal person?''. I've also been told I'm crazy or weird.


If I had been paid a quid for every time I've thought something awful about myself or had someone else say something equally as awful to me I'd be abnormally rich.


However, the thing that people forget and what I forgot is that ''normal'' is actually a programme on my washing machine, it is a setting on my phone, it's a setting on my fridge/freezer. Normal doesn't apply to people as unlike my phone or my washing machine we are all superbly 'unique'. There will never be another you and there will never be another me (although I'm not sure that's such a bad thing :P)


I guess what I'm trying to say is that this ''normal'' that everyone searches for or aspires to be is a universe that literally no fucker lives in and trying to reach it made me SO unhappy!!!!


#360540 Does it ever hit you out of nowhere?

Posted by Sa-lB on 21 November 2015 - 12:44 AM

Yes I get the same thing. Especially if I've drank too much the night before, haven't got enough sleep or am just going through a stressful time.


I can be going along fine and feeling fine and then it will randomly hit me out of nowhere. Mine doesn't seem to hit me full on at the start but I get the spacey feeling/tunnel vision and I think subconsciously I start to make it important in my head and before I know it I feel like I don't even know where I am or what planet I'm on.


It's very strange how I can be feeling fine but I can go back to those awful feelings in a split second. 


When it hits me like that out of nowhere I actually feel like I am retarded, I honestly struggle to string a sentence together when it happens.





#360474 GF asked for temporary break after she gets suspected DP/DR

Posted by Sa-lB on 19 November 2015 - 10:39 AM

Whatever she's thinking or feels it's clearly not what you want to hear and you're only hurting yourself by holding onto something that isn't really there.


I don't think she's being particularly deceiving having looked at your conversation. You initiated contact with her and she was being nice to you by telling you that she's doing OK.


You say you want to be her ''friend'' but to me you're her friend for all the wrong reasons, you're her friend in the hope that you will get back together not in the hope that you can help her in what she's going through.


You can't make someone love you or be with you and it's not right to try and deceive them into doing so, if she doesn't want to be with you then you have to accept that (for your own good) and leave her to get on with it and try and get on with your life. I know it hurts and I'm sorry you're going through this.

#357375 Alcohol? What are your thoughts?

Posted by Sa-lB on 15 September 2015 - 10:56 AM

Never been drunk in my life. There is an ocean of information describing in detail how your body metabolizes alchohol, and that alchohol is highly toxic by it self, but after it gets metabolized, it becomes liquid bleach that destroys every working system in your body.

Frankly, I think less of people that smoke or drink.
And I laugh when I hear someone say something like , "I only drink socialy."
I don't even know where to begin...not worth the and look away.

There is a reason why doctors, or the intellectual elite do not touch a single drop of it.


Our society is toxic.

Drinking, smoking and all of that other bullshit is bad for you. I don't give a fuck what the cool kids do, stay away from that trash -- you're predisposed to mental disorders, evidently, last thing you to be doing is putting trash into your body that messes with your brain/perception.


It's fine if you don't drink but to have this almost hostile attitude towards it is a little weird. I wonder if it hits a nerve in you because it stirs up bitter feelings you maybe have towards your peers or family members etc etc?


Plenty of people drink and there is nothing wrong with just consuming alcohol in itself, it's more the way you go about it. If you're drinking to self medicate then that is a problem. But to go out with your friends and have a couple of drinks - I really don't see the issue there if that's what you enjoy doing. 


I would say going out and socialising and trying to get some normality back into your life is a good thing OP, don't let dp/anxiety/depression hold you back from doing what you enjoy BUT know your limits. 

#356066 Pitiful

Posted by Sa-lB on 18 August 2015 - 10:00 AM

I don't know what you expected to see on a mental health forum? I think maybe you are missing the point of this forum. I always thought it was a place people can come to vent/rant, share how they are really feeling, share advice etc etc - some people have no one else to talk to about this sort of thing.


I'm happy for you that you have recovered but some people haven't, some people are really struggling.


I really don't see the point in your thread, apparently you have all the answers but you don't want to share, so why are you here? I would have thought having been through depersonalization yourself you would be open to doing so. Even if it helps 1 person then surely that's a good thing?


In my eyes you're the weak one, it costs absolutely nothing to be a little empathetic and to not be such an obnoxious prick.

#355959 Rant

Posted by Sa-lB on 14 August 2015 - 11:04 PM

I can understand your frustration but you need to understand that because these people haven't been through what you're going through they aren't going get it, fully. 


If I think back to who I was before all of this and someone had told me about their struggles with dp, I probably would have thought they were fucking crazy.


If these people mean a lot to you then maybe ask them to educate themselves on what you're going through? if they don't mean a lot to you then does it really matter what they think? 

#346382 Does anyone else hate sunny weather?

Posted by Sa-lB on 24 November 2014 - 10:07 PM

I also prefer rainy days. 


I have no idea why but when it's too sunny (not that it is that often in the U.K) it makes everything seem so much more surreal. 


Rain seems to ground me. 

#345238 Feeling extremely nostalgic.

Posted by Sa-lB on 01 November 2014 - 12:20 PM

Does anyone else feel extremely nostalgic to the point of tears?

Lately I have been feeling this way and it's getting me down. I cry over the most stupidest things such as hearing the Dawsons Creek theme tune Lol (yes I do know how stupid that sounds lol) or driving past the house I grew up in. There's a lot of other things that set me off but they are probably the most ridiculous ones.

It just gives me that horrible feeling and I can't really explain it, it's almost that feeling you get when you've got a broken heart or something? It's hard to ignore.

But yeah I'm feeling pretty teary and nostalgic and I just wanted to know if I was alone lol.


#343764 How do people accept things that ruin their lives?

Posted by Sa-lB on 03 October 2014 - 10:45 PM

I know the truth about looks and that is haunting me. I no longer even try and speak with attractive people, either male or female, because I know I offer no value to them, and thats the truth. Looks are absolutely everything, people would just rather not admit defeat and keep hoping, ah well.


You obviously don't value yourself at all, not one bit and you're in this mindset of almost apologising for your face and your existence. Most people do not give a shit what you look like as long as you don't smell. They don't care how symmetrical your face is or how fucked up your short maxilla and mandible are, that's coming from you not them. 


Not everything is about looks but everything is about looks to you.


That face is the only one you will ever have, ugly or not. You want to be accepting of it but do you really think this whole looks are everything, no one attractive likes me, self pity thing is going to help you?. There are plenty of other things that define you as a person and make you likeable other than your face, like not being so completely negative and defeatist.


Being attractive is not all it's cracked up to be either, especially if you're a woman. In all honesty the only thing it's good for is if you want to get laid.  

#343580 What about friends and family

Posted by Sa-lB on 01 October 2014 - 09:21 AM

I think it depends what type of person you are and if you can handle other people's criticism. 


I have told one friend about my anxiety issues and I did get looked at like I was slightly crazy and asked if I had maybe gone a bit mad. Whilst it didn't bother me particularly, I can understand why it would bother someone else and maybe make them feel worse about their situation.


If you feel strong enough to open up about it then go for it.


Sadly there is still a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues but that shouldn't make you ashamed or stop you from opening up to someone if you feel it's the right thing to do.