Allez

Two different events were happening around the time the chronic (~3 year, 24/7) DP lifted . One of them was cessation of celexa 40mg over a two week period. The other was an EMDR therapy session for past panic attacks, especially the first memory of one (6 months prior to initial onset of chronic DP).

After EMDR there was lots of crying, irritability, and anger. It's strange how much emotion was felt in the weeks after just one session (especially after not feeling any for three years). I still had blank mind, but my consciousness felt connected with my body, and eventually (after months) thoughts and internal dialogue returned. My mind's eye is still foggy at times, and I do not know the cause of that.

I still had intense panic attacks after this (and still do in some situations), and some made me feel DP/DR. It never sticks around longer than a day or two. In the time since then, I've used self-help methods daily to keep physical and mental stress low (yoga, TRE, mindfulness). Mindfulness has made life more tolerable in general, because it's mere observation without judgement. It helps to see things more clearly (with senses and mind). At first it was difficult for me, because I've always been one to distract myself with video games or music. For me, this was essentially an addiction to avoid facing the issues at hand.

I still don't know for sure if it was the first panic attack that caused me to dissociate 6 months later. This was the most intense attack that also caused an out of body experience. The only other time I've felt this was while dissociated.

Anyone can accept DP, but that doesn't work for a lot. For me, it was as if my mind's eye was shut off (blank mind), detachment from body / environment, and actions didn't seem spontaneous (auto-pilot mode). An attempt at acceptance alone wasn't enough to break me out of that frozen aspect of DP. It took self-inquiry, therapy, and time.

 

Now that I'm out of the frozen aspect, the acceptance part does seem to work more easily. Maybe I'm naturally less afraid of it because I personally understand it's not a permanent state for me. Telling someone to accept this doesn't work if they don't understand acceptance. Also, acceptance does not stop the suffering, it just eases the mental resistance to what already is. In my opinion, acceptance is a skill that is to be practiced, not an innate ability. Some people do seem to have a knack for it though.

 

I agree that sitting with the anxiety instead of resisting the thoughts and sensations is probably the better option in the long-run. Unfortunately, no one taught me this, so I had to discover it on my own.

Some things that helped me:

1) Not fearing the symptoms or having avoidance behavior (i.e. not walking on eggshells trying to prevent the symptoms again while recovered). This is akin to agoraphobia. I still have some degree of fear for panic attacks, though that is getting better with more and more exposure therapy.

 

2) Worked on past fears (panic attacks) that ran through my mind via EMDR (http://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/).

 

3) Metta Meditation (http://www.mettainst...meditation.html)

 

4) Traumatic Releasing Exercises (TRE). I used this after I was out of DP, and was curious to see what happened. It's a short exercise that relaxed the tension in my body and seemed to lower DR symptoms. I can't find a step-by-step video or PDF on it, but here's a video: ()

 

For brain fog:

 

http://www.drmyhill....ing_clearly_etc

 

http://www.drmyhill....ing_good_health

Sounds similar to my onset of DP. Grandpa's funeral (one of the first I'd been to), panicked a couple weeks later at work, sudden onset of DP ~6 months after that.

Do you remember why they started up again a year ago?