Very good post, except I have problems with number 2. I cannot feel passionate about anything because (a DP caused my Anhedonia, meaning I am completely unable to feel pleasure as I cannot emotionally connect with anything and (b it has also caused my Avolition, which means I cannot motivate myself to do much of anything more than post in this forum and watch movies, let alone become passionate about anything.
It seems to me that a lot of people here have DP purely by chance, or a change in circumstance. I have it instead because without it I would be constantly in pain from traumatic experiences as a child (bullying, social isolation etc.). I'm not saying I enjoy having DP, but I've come to see it in a new light these past few days as when I had a slight break from it the other day felt an immense pain. I'll not describe it for you because I don't want to whine or whatever, but that's what I felt, and within an hour or so of that pain I just snapped straight back into depersonalistion _ I could feel my mind start to go cloudy and the pain just melted away into nothingness. So for me, at least, I have a whole load of other issues I need to sort out before I actually get around to 'curing' my DP.
Anyone else here experiencing DP as a result of trauma, or because of some mental illness?
Did it just start for you, or have you been depersonalised for a long time? You sound quite happy in your post - is that fake? I know I sure have to fake a personality most of the time when I'm depersonalised (which is all the time).
I have never had a sense of self for as long as I can remember. The only reason I can tell that I actually have this disorder is because at times it gets worse, and people begin to look more and more like cardboard cut-outs, things become dream-like and things seem even less real. But as far as general functioning throughout the day goes, there have only been a few occasions when things have actually felt real to me. Most of my imaginary friends (when I was a child), actually, felt a lot more real than what has always been around me.
It's strange though, I've had no significant trauma in my life. I guess I was just sensitive enough that your ordinary run-of-the-mill bullying turned me into this - it doesn't help that I am probably autistic, and hence cannot interact well socially, isolating me as a child.
Now I am at the stage where medication has stopped me feeling depressed, stopped me feeling constantly painfully anxious, and stopped me having pseudo-psychotic episodes. Despite all this however, DP/DP still remains. And as a result, I think, my anhedonia remains too - but I'll post about that somewhere else I guess.
The only real advice I can give people is that psychiatrists and medication do work, though maybe not as well for some people. I am proof, at least, that they can work. Or at least, for a little while. I don't know about the long term future yet.
Sorry for the somewhat rambling post, my head is pretty fuzzy, and I'm pretty tired. Recently I've been feeling like this all day everyday, and it's becoming hard not to sleep the entire day away.