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Member Since 25 Apr 2012
Offline Last Active Nov 06 2014 06:00 AM

#305450 Self-confidence and depersonalization

Posted by googleeyes on 20 September 2013 - 04:45 AM

I have found this to be true as well.
Think about the word "self-confidence."
You can't have confidence in yourself if you don't feel real, your mind feels like a traitor, and your body is reeling in horror. You simply don't have the base to draw upon.

#305438 A Living Hell: My Depersonalization Story

Posted by googleeyes on 20 September 2013 - 12:21 AM

I'm stunned that the therapist diagnosed depersonalization disorder. I think you are in good hands. You're outlook is excellent and I feel there is little I can tell you that you don't already know.

Just poke around the site, familiarize yourself with disorder and I hope you leave soon, a changed man.

#305414 What is dp/dr stopping you from doing in life?

Posted by googleeyes on 19 September 2013 - 09:23 PM

It doesn't stop you from doing anything. It just makes the doing more difficult in some cases. Life on hard mode.

#305413 Some Shiny New Glasses

Posted by googleeyes on 19 September 2013 - 09:17 PM

So this probably isn't relevant to many people here, but I'll post it anyway just for the sake of completeness.


I don't suffer from dp/dr very much anymore but I still do get some vision issues. The visual symptoms have always been attributed to dp/dr or anxiety or something psychological.



- Blurriness (eyes are 20/20 though)

- Difficulty looking at computer screens

- Light reflecting oddly off of things

- General overwhelming of the visual system


I have since been prescribed prism lenses as my eyes don't quite line up the same; these have helped tremendously!

I am now entering vision therapy, in an attempt to correct the remaining issues.


My point being: Although many people here wish to attribute every symptom to depersonalization. I see that a lot here. It is worth looking into other illnesses. Not to the point of obsession, but to be aware.

#305217 Sean Madden says he recovered by learning to focus on the present moment.

Posted by googleeyes on 18 September 2013 - 07:20 AM

Dude I miss my past even though I had DP those days, but I actually can't focus to the present, only past and future. How do you actually focus to the present? I don't know how to do it.

You can't just focus on the "present" that's too abstract. It's more like, if you are sitting on a bench in a park, don't think about how you feel and how that may affect you're future. Instead, focus on the birds chirping around, the people walking around, the feeling of the bench underneath you. If you are shaving your face, focus on the razor running over your skin, and the humidity in the room. You need to be observant and present in the moment, reign in your mind and just focus on the NOW :P

It's one of those things that gets easier over time.

#305214 Dp/dr still strong

Posted by googleeyes on 18 September 2013 - 06:07 AM

You're right, you are doing everything right and you're not recovered. This is a disheartening place to be, but I believe it is just one step before you recover. I've recovered before and I did everything that you have done. My only suggestion is to stop acknowledging the fact that you don't feel right, that you feel disconnected. Just pretend that that is normal, let it slide to the back or your mind. I promise, one day it will just dissipate. Just continue to engage in life and don't let a single though tell you otherwise.

#304977 New Here, 6 months in. Drug induced DP

Posted by googleeyes on 16 September 2013 - 01:13 AM

There's still something underneath the depersonalization that needs to be explored, it's a symptom. I hope you find some answers here. 

I know Selig means the best and he is probably one of the most helpful member on dpsh. But, I still feel compelled to give my opposing view on this issue. I think that a bad drug reaction leading to panic attacks is enough in itself to create and perpetuate dp. I also think that acknowledging this connection and understanding you have a tendency to disassociate is enough. I don't think realizing that your dad was emotionally distant from you is pivotal in recovery.

#304594 Half a day of 99% reality

Posted by googleeyes on 13 September 2013 - 09:57 PM

Necromancers, all of you!
  • Eru likes this

#303844 There seems to be a correlation

Posted by googleeyes on 08 September 2013 - 07:19 PM

I see the power in positive reaffirmation and there have been many studies to support this! I agree that this should be a part of every recover process and I do my best to make it part of my one.

#303756 Almost Fully Recovered After 5 LONG Years!! MUST READ

Posted by googleeyes on 08 September 2013 - 04:30 AM

This forum is possibly one of the worst things for those trying to recover. It's great for initially finding out what you suffer from, and the steps toward recovery. But after that, it just becomes another obsession and another reason for not moving on.


My advice to anyone with dp/dr:


Understand you are not alone.

Learn about what is effecting you.

Accept that you have this, but you will recover.

Reconnect with your friends and hobbies.

Just keep on going; never look back.

#303214 Personality flaws - independent of 'emotional abuse'

Posted by googleeyes on 04 September 2013 - 11:27 AM

Every single event since birth has shaped and formed you. It has made you who you are. Even before you were born, you had a genetic make-up unique to you. You're personality flaws are a result of all of these things.


The term "emotional abuse" is really starting to piss me off. Perhaps you developed in a way that lead you to disassociate. Maybe you never really connected to your emotions because of physiological reasons. Who knows. But if you can't think of anytime that you were abused, then maybe you weren't.


Stop reading one person's blog, based off of one person's experience, and attempting to apply it to everyone. There are many people who recovered without ever finding or recognizing an emotional abuse.

#303198 Regaining The Flow Of Life

Posted by googleeyes on 04 September 2013 - 08:59 AM

This has been pointed out in numerous threads, and I believe is a pillar for anyone's recovery, but I just want to reiterate it. I also want to take this chance to state my thoughts on depersonalization and the reasons for some of the symptoms.


One of the worst things about DP is how fragmented your life feels. That effortless flow that once carried you through each day is now gone, leaving only fear and confusion. What at one time was a simple task, now requires everything you have, and even then, you are left feeling exhausted. Your mind once danced freely but it is now a prisoner, forced into analyzing each and every moment.


I want to emphasize how important thought pattern is to your life. Every time you do something and think "this doesn't feel right" or "why am I like this," you are doing two things:


1. You are tiring out your mind. Instead of just going on "auto-pilot" like you used to, you are now analyzing everything that you do, questioning every thought that you have. This is extremely exhausting.


2. You are reaffirming negative things about yourself. You are constantly telling yourself you don't feel right. Doing this all day every day is solidifying that in your mind.


Now, what are the symptoms of a tired mind?


- Inability to focus

- Memory lapses

- Learning difficulties

- Reasoning problems

- and if your mind is really tired -- Blank Mind


Many of you attribute the above to DP, but they are in fact symptoms of burnout. Your mind is tired of thinking about DP, it's tired of researching it, and it's tired of you forcing it to think the same thoughts all day. How often do you let your mind wander, before you snatch it back to question reality?


This is why distraction is so important. You need to let your mind just be.

Some people meditate, others have hobbies, others just bury themselves in a book. Whatever your thing is, you need to quiet your mind. Your mental retardation isn't due to DP it is due to your obsessiveness with feeling normal. If you can allow yourself to do things without thought or criticism, you will come a long way in regaining your mental facilities.


What happens when you think negative thoughts?


Well, similar to the placebo effect, you will begin to feel and believe them. Even if a "normal" person were to get up everyday and tell themselves "I feel awful, and nothing seems real" you would notice a change in them.


The Fix


DP is as much a thought disorder as it is anything else. Every time you catch yourself thinking about how unreal or how terrible things are, you need to counter it. Yes, positive reaffirmation does work.


You just need to let your mind be and stop analyzing each and every molecule in the world. It will snowball.

After you stop thinking constantly, your mind will come back in it's sharpness. Once your mind is sharp as a tack, you will be able to think concisely. Once you are no longer thinking anxiously, your anxiety will decrease. Once the anxiety has decreased, the DP will decrease.


This is the general blueprint for feeling well again. However, it does not include all of the intricacies, as they are all stated in other threads.


I want to close with my thoughts on emotional abuse and DP...


Most cases of DP have a trigger (drugs, etc), while others creep up more slowly. I think all DP sufferers have a predisposition that stems from their style of conflict resolution. Their response is to retreat into themselves during conflict and have a tendency to bottle up emotions. This is probably why you have DP from your trigger whereas someone else may just have GAD or nothing at all.


HOWEVER, I think this can be learned or innate. Your environment while growing up might have been emotionally lacking, but it might have been perfect. Emotional abuse is not a requirement for DP. It may be a factor, but it is just one of many.



#303184 Alcohol and DP

Posted by googleeyes on 04 September 2013 - 06:50 AM

I think alcohol can be a nice escape and it can help you reengage in your social life. But, it all depends on where you are in this disorder.


If you are at "stage 1"; meaning you are still very prone to panic attacks and constantly looking inward. The intoxicated feeling can be enough to trigger a panic attack and cause you to analyze every little drunk thought in your head.


However, if you are past stage 1(you've accepted that you feel like shit all of the time, but you can't escape your head), then alcohol can assist you in becoming more external. Temporarily. Prepare to feel extra bad in the morning.


I used to drink a lot, and found some relief in it. It's hard to have a negative thought when you're drunk, surrounded by friends, and actively engaging in conversation.

#302935 [Trigger Warning] Has anyone on here got schizophrenia along with DP?

Posted by googleeyes on 02 September 2013 - 06:26 AM


I strongly suggest you find a new therapist, albeit, I am basing it off of that one sentience. Not only is that scientifically incorrect, it is a completely insensitive things to say. Who would take someone with an uncontrollable symptom, then proceed to tell them that that symptom will drive them insane. This just perpetuates the cycle.



#302918 [Trigger Warning] Has anyone on here got schizophrenia along with DP?

Posted by googleeyes on 02 September 2013 - 03:12 AM

The two are not correlated.