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Member Since 12 Jun 2011
Offline Last Active Jun 23 2011 01:07 PM

Topics I've Started

Suddenly 99% Recoverd, WTF is going on ?

20 June 2011 - 09:08 AM

Hey guys,
ye im recoverd 99%.

A brief story
I had an appointment with the doctor today for my vaccination against Herpatites B. Anyway, I sat in the room and he came with the syringe, I showed him my arm and he stung. And EXACTLY as he was vaccinated with you, so the liquid it tingled in my brain and body. 30 minutes later I was sitting in the tram, and everything was as before. The DR is gone. I do not know how to explain something. Placebo

First step towards reality

17 June 2011 - 06:48 PM

The first thing I want to tell just when the DR came. It all began with a violent panic attack on cannabis. Two days later I was the victim of a robbery was sitting at the cash register at Wall Market (next job).

I guess the DR came because of the panic attack. To the robbery, I've survived quite well.

These questions I will answer them all.

- How were the first days ?

The first days, weeks were the hardest in my life. I knew not that something was wrong with me. Everything looked so strange, I had no 'feel to things. I lived in a different world. In the beginning, I thought I was death, and everything here would only dream of. Or I was in coma, etc.
Crazy thought, I had. Could not enjoy life. I could not. I'll tell you then.
No sense of time, still life were there. Everything was gone one day to another.

"I live a life not my life."
I searched the Internet rat - and traff many people feel the same. And finally, I knew a word for the feeling. Derealization. I googlte.
And could identify with.
I was looking for after "answers" solution. But in vain. No I was able to really help. Not even my psychologist. He said he may recover that takes my soul needs, and therefore distance to everything.I knew I must be strong. I went to work (Work as a nurse). The work makes me very fun there, and even dealing with people gives me the confirmation that I'm still alive.
The first days I had everything connected with fear. Afraid that I get the feeling again. Afraid that I'm going crazy. Everything was connected with fear. It's because in my "fear of fear".

Eventually, I said now is SO circuit. Now you defeated your fear. This was successful but only in small steps. Suddenly I was no longer afraid to go out. 've Started to do sports. 've Stopped smoking pot the unavoidable, even caffeine. All that my "brain" is not good, let me be for now. I'll drink coffee again sometime, but this will take. I'll never smoke pot again.
Anyway, the days were difficult, I could smell was like normality. I wanted to go back. I want my normal life again.

But how?
But how?

The first thing I've overcome my fear. I've told myself every day in my head "you create that". The world has not changed is all in your head. NOT MORE.

I'm no longer in demand, what is what. I said, "what I see, there is also - and it's real end."

I've been afraid of me. Through the middle.
The only way to combat a fear.

Those are really the things that helped me. And lo and behold, my life will slowly return to normal. I feel life again. Taken new courage. I am moving through my thing. I know it's hard to clean. Yet you always have to tell one. The world is 10,000 years ago. It's all in your head.

The only thing I lack is the "sense of time". I have not yet.

Weed + Panic attack = Derealisastion

12 June 2011 - 04:48 PM

Hello, Guys.
First i wanna say, im from germay, sooo excuse me for my bad language. But i gonna try to write good sence.

First to my Person.
My name is Christian im 19 years old, and im form germany. SUPRISE ! xD

Well, you see - i got a derealisastion after a panic attack on weed.


It was the 28.March 2011. It was a weekend. I chill with a friend. And he ask, do you want to smoke little bit weed, we can go to a friend. He got this.
It was not my first time, that i smoke. It was hmmm the 10 time or something. Not too much and not too many.

I sad, yes - ok lets go. It was really dark outside, when we went to the house. Ok.
In the house was 3 another friends. We smoke a little bit and watch the movie "Transpotting" everything was fine.

Than a friend say to me, cmon Chris lets go home we have 4 in the morning. I sad; ye ok, im tired to.

We go outside, everything was dark. I cant see my hand, soo dark it was. We walk on the street. And suddenly.
It make click, and i "come" back, it was rly crazy it feels like i was afk in my brain.

And than after this "klick" i become a huge panic attakc. I say to the friend. OMG OMG, i have a hallicunation or something.
He laugh, and said, dont joke with me. But it was not a joke.

We come home, and he say go sleep Chris everything gonne be fine the next day. So i close my eyes and "try" to sleep. But no.
I cant sleep. My adrenalin flushed, and i have rly crazy think in my head. When i close my eyes, i think two orange talk, and they have mexicano head or something weird stuff.

I go to the hospital, and they couldnt help me. They say its okay, go home. Aha rly nice...

I was back form the hospital. My body was sooo empty. I have a hangover. I dont know how i come back. At the end im sleep in my bed.
I woke up, and think "everything - is over" i dont smoke weed anymore. But yee, thats not the end. Now the rly hell coming.

I talk with my parents, on the telefon, i want to go home. I sleep by a friend for a weekend. Ye my dad comes, and bring me home.
I told him the story, and he sad "dont smoke weed, we tell it you, its not good". I said yes, dad now i know it.

After this road. I come home, but than its started agian. I feel the fear in me. But i just say "releax" its the weed in your body, in a week its over !
But it was not over. I got the Derealisastion 24h. First i dont know whats wrong with, me. Than i read derealiastion etc. Ye, that what i have.

The first time it was rly hard, to live with it. When i go outside, everything was different. Nothing like before. I scared a couple times. But nothing was so heavy like the panic attack. The Panic attack, was the first panic attack and the last panic attack in my life.

Anyway, the first time it was rly hard. But than study this stuff. Everything what i read its "fear" etc. So i say, dont have, a fear. Ye its easy to say.

What i did ? I go to the gym, and i have the fear in my body again. I cant go alone outsinde, or go to the gmy.
But now, its different. I can go alone outside without fear, and i can to the gym now. I fight the fear and well i see the dr, its going back.

I hope you like my story, when you have anwser write it. (:

greetz, chris.