InfantileAdultMember Since 31 Jan 2011
Offline Last Active Jan 16 2013 01:47 PM
Hi there, I'm new to the forum. 19 years old, suffering from clinical depression and possibly anxiety. The worse thing though, is my DP and DR. Below is my experience of it, and I'd like to hear yours too.
I don't feel like I'm really here, it's like being in a dream all the time, and my brain feels foggy. I often forget things, even in the middle of doing them and am often confused. I can't concentrate or relax, I'm always restless. Colours aren't bright, food tastes bland, I feel suffocated. It feels as if seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, life is disappearing behind me. Like a aeroplane trail. I look in the mirror and don't recognise myself. It freaks the hell out of me. I forget things a lot, or I know things have happened, but they don't feel like they happened to me. It feels like there's a glass pane between me and the world, and that I'm just watching things happen, passively. My dreams are weird now, as well. I often zone out in the middle of doing things and I can't properly remember things. Reality seems fake and unreal, and I feel distant and unfocused. My vision seems bad, as if I'm looking at things but not really seeing them. I try to focus on things, books, people, photographs; but I can't see them properly. I feel like I'm blind, yet I know I can see. I feel so hazy, like a hologram and sometimes my body doesn't feel like it's mine. My Mum doesn't feel like she's my Mum. I look at photos of me and don't feel like it's me. I'm so detached from everything. I feel, but I don't. I often don't feel like I recognise my surroundings, even if I consciously do. My bedroom doesn't feel like it's mine, but yet I know it is. I am a stranger to myself.
It's a living hell. I wonder if I'll ever be able to actually FEEL like I'm alive again.
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- Age 26 years old
- Birthday July 16, 1993
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