.kj.

My life is separated into two sections: my life from birth-19 and my life from 19-now (28). i don't identify with my life before age 19 but i'm trying to integrate it into my life because a lot of the negative feelings i have are b/c i never learned how to deal with the things that happened to me and they are negatively affecting my life in the present. a lot of times it's easier for me to write a poem to sort my feelings so this is what i ended up with. i just joined this group and hope to continue healing with you all! good luck to you all


the little me
Inside my body there's a little me
she never got a chance to live
she's dying to be free.
Taking care of myself I now take care of her
physically she's finally healthy
but mentally she's still a ablur.
The older me knows that she is loved
she has the very best of friends
who are better to her than any real blood.
To the younger me the concept of love isn't real
all she ever knew was pain
nothing good did she ever feel.
The older she got the pain still lingered on
but this time it was done to herself
she never imagined a life with it gone.
After a few close calls to being gone forever
the older me took over
and life from the little me was severed.
Every now and then the little me does surface
she wants to live the life she missed
and finally have some sort of purpose.
The older me wants her to know that she is safe
that she can live alongside me
that her life is no longer erased.
But letting the little me live means letting feelings come about
about why she was treated so poorly
to all the 'adults' she just wants to shout.
I'm not sure it would help but even a fake sorry would be good to hear
f--- you all and the life you caused
only letting the little girl know fear.
The effects of your actions, or lack thereof
were surely negative ones
I should be with your so-called god above.
And now everyone pretends that nothing ever happened
but to the little girl it's still so real
the older me must now be her captain.
The older me wants to know how you make two lives connect
when one life doesn't even seem real
I wish the younger me didn't have this effect.
For now I'll just let the little me cry when she needs to
and have a life filled with fun for her
until this we together get through.