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hanniballexster

Member Since 13 Jun 2010
Offline Last Active Feb 14 2011 01:01 AM
Having a hard time- unreality was getting better, lately it's back to being very bad. So sick of this! Updated 06 Feb · 0 comments
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About Me

My derealization started suddenly on the morning of June 4th, 2008 (it's now been over 2 years). About 2 months ago I started epival (am on 500 mg a day) and that's helping me obsess a lot less about the unreality/derealization. I don't have depersonalization- I FEEL alive and like myself, just like I am asleep and dreaming. The exterior world feels strange and unreal, but my emotions, interests, sense of self, all of that are still in tact. I also take 2 mg of clonazepam a day for panic disorder/panic attacks which mostly keeps them under control.

 

Certain things that seem to make me DR "bug" me less (nothing has got it to go away completely, but some things help)...

 

1. Eating regurlarly, low sugar, low carb foods- healthy food spaced over the course of the day in small doses to keep my blood sugar relatively stable.

 

2. Enough sleep- not too much or too little. For me, I need about 10-12 hours a day (I have some other minor health problems that tire me out).

 

3. Playing games that distract me, but aren't flashy (flashing lights make my DR worse). Strategy games and word games are my favourites.

 

4. Doing anything that distracts me but that also helps improve my life- like exercising, eating better, stopping ALL alcohol consumption, cleaning my apartment, etc...

 

5. Splashing cold water on my face, eating spicy food, anything that momentarily "wakes me up".

 

Things that make my DR worse fast....

 

1. Flourescent or artificial lights.

 

2. Being on the subway, the bus or my bike- moving too quickly through space.

 

3. I used to drink alcohol to deal with derealization because then it didn't seem to "bother" me so much but over the long term the alcohol itself made me feel more confused and spacy, so I gave it up.

 

5. Being too hot/not having enough fresh air.

 

6. Blinking lights or anything rhythymic- this includes certain video games, strobe lights, certain music (especially "trance" type music) etc...

 

7. Low iron levels. My body is usually very low in iron- I used to need iron shots every few months even though I was eating red meat in high amounts. I know anemia can make people light headed so I am wondering if there is some causal link here.

 

8. Things not being straight or lined up- for instance if a photo on the wall is at an angle, because I already feel off balance, I feel even more dizzy and strange.

 

9. Certain styles of filming TV shows can make it worse, such as "trailer park boys"- any show that has the camera jostling around a lot and not moving smoothly in and out of shots makes me feel spaced out.

 

Additional notes:

 

When i was younger I was suspected of having epilepsy. I was tested once for it, but never specifically for TLE (temporal lobe epilepsy) although i do get some signs of "too much brain activity"- I've had fits 9about 7 or 8 in the last two years) where all my muscles tighten and spasm and jerk, and I can't move, but I am consious. I get a lot of odd sensations that are hard to describe, such as a feeling that I have been "struck" by lightning- this can cause my body to jerk and can make me afraid, but it usually only lasts a second or two and then I am fine (but groggy). My legs and arms sometimes kick and jerk on their own (usually when I am winding down to sleep), things of that nature. I get a lot of episodes of deja vu and jamais vu and my vision has deteriorated from 20/60 to worse than 20/400 in the last 2 and a half years. I've had about 5 concussions in my life, including fracturing my skull and another time an exposed skull (from falling over). I only had one neuro consult so far, and I was sent for an MRI to look for mass brain lesions but that showed nothing and there wasn't another follow up.


Community Stats


  • Group DPSH Members
  • Active Posts 119
  • Profile Views 5224
  • Member Title Regular Contributor
  • Age 38 years old
  • Birthday April 23, 1982
  • Gender
    Female Female
  • Location
    British Columbia, Canada
  • Interests
    A lot of stuff! I love playing video games on favebook like "My Empire" and watching movies about ancient times (especially ancient Greece and the ancient Egyptians). I like photography and painting, reading, writing fiction 9I want to be a novelist someday). I love animals. Since my Derealization started I have become much more interested in homeopathy. I love horror movies, water slides, too much to name here. :)

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