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Member Since 06 Jun 2010
Offline Last Active Jul 27 2010 01:18 PM

Topics I've Started

Not good at all

25 July 2010 - 02:52 PM

I am tryig very hard to stay out front tonight since we need to work a few hrs here shortly.
we have terrible panic and chaos inside right now.
tomorrow we go to dr and have our mental health evalution and they will decide if we need to be hospitlized. Hiding is having overwhelming anxiety and sarah is terrified.
and me- well i dont know how to deal with those feelings or ease them so imhaving SH urges but i cant cause then we def will have to stay in hospital.. trying to distract by reading and such and hope work will help. gonna take a xanax when we get home so we can at least sleep a little.

massive massive chaos.


freaking out about dr appt

15 July 2010 - 07:34 AM

today we are going to dr about mental health..me, sadie and sarah.. we are all scared..terrified.. dont wanna go but i know we have to.. still scared. appt is at 4pm.
scared.. gonna be a hard day. :unsure2:

not sure yet..but here is yesterday..

12 July 2010 - 07:41 AM

yesterday i told my aunt about sarah and sadie and sadie's Shing and all..

not sure how we really feel about it yet but assuming there is ALOT of panic/anxiety under surface cause had 2 massive physical panic attacks last night..
not used to physical attacks usually just emtional ones so really was kinda scared i was having a heart attack for a while.

aunt seemed to respond ok no suprise,rejection or anything.. said she understood thati just separated myself off to try to handle stuff..

anyhow heard that voice after wards again..the one we dont recognize kept saying "you told the secret.. i cant believe you told.. you told"

anyhow..aunt is good at keeping my secrets but this is big one and sorta scared to death now..

anyhow gotta go to work soon and REALLY dont want to.

Hiding..maybe with sadie too.. not sure.. hard to tell in mornings..


feeling rejected,sad and alone

08 July 2010 - 07:07 PM

feeling so rejected and sad. dont have many support resources and feeling rejected by some that i do have.
one pissed off sadie so not sure we are welcome there anymore.

dont wanna feel so sad ..today is my daughters bday and she has a friend spending the night.

wrote dr a letter about my mental health and about sarah and sadie asked her to email but no reply yet.

just feeling so lost, alone and depressed and scared..


07 July 2010 - 08:15 AM

today my primary care dr comes back into the office. wrote letter to her concerning my mental health and sadie and sarah. hubby is gonna take it to her today. soo terrified.
scared she wont believe me. scared she will believe me.
gotta go to work soon.. not sure how ill make thru the day. hopig work will distract me..but dot know that it will. i am all nervous and shakey.
hoping i wont have a massive anxiety attack.
soo scared.