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PositiveThinking!

Member Since 04 Mar 2010
Offline Last Active Nov 22 2020 06:52 PM
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#262455 Update on QEEG Brain scan results SURPRISING!!

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 09 August 2012 - 03:50 AM

Hey Guys,

I started a topic on here a week or so ago to post about my results from my QEEG brain scan;

I was right something aint functioning well in my brain, it's the insular cortex & the functions involved are; Risky decision making, Moral decision making, Anxiety and neuroticism, Bodily awareness, Motor control, & my sense of self in space and where I am in my surroundings...he said when something happens here it's like a switch went off on my brain and I haven't been able to get it back on and no amount of talk therapy or whatever is going to help me.

So I'm not crazy!! oh and this is why I can't stop thinking the scan showed an obvious underactivity in right brain also but underneath right brain is the insular cortex and once that stops functioning correctly then it would be the cause for my over thinking etc.

He said I would have had a genetic predisposition to this however I know otherwise and I know that it's coz of my attachment style to my parents...anyways just thought I'd share that with all of you!!

My plan is do this therapy with him for a few months and also to do Iboga in less then 2 weeks time to process traumatic memories so I can start fresh!!


Makes a lot of sense... Risky decision making is familiar to me after getting DPD, almost died when I crashed my car (which I decided to drive without a driver's license) , and tons of other decisions that sometimes I end up thinking "How could I ever do this, this is just not me at all"

A big plus, I've always complained to everyone that the right side of my brain feels sort of numb, a weird sensation in my head and my right eye gets affected as well, no idea if it's just a huge coincidence but it shouldn't be :/


#262425 Regarding those who recover and leave

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 08 August 2012 - 03:34 PM

Do you think these people are truly cured? I mean personally if I thought I was cured I would like to think that posting or talking about DP would not retrigger the feeling. Even if I don't go back to the forum, there are plenty of things in life that may retrigger it regardless.

As for me, if I ever recover I told myself I would stick around and help others. If that somehow causes me to relapse then I was never cured to begin with.

Thoughts?


To be honest, I really do think that some people eventually feel better, and end up recovering fully, most might not ever come back because even though this consumes your day and night, it's something that is forgotten with time. Some come back because they remember they struggled with this for quite a while and they went back to normal and they just can't believe how they suffered and everything's alright now... I for one do try to stay around to cheer people up because I don't like to know that there are people out there suffering, yet sometimes I just forget about the forum and get involved in life, leaving no time to come here, sometimes I even feel like I don't belong because I'm feeling way better.

I'm not sure, but I think that if I ever recovered fully, I wouldn't come back, unless I was reminded by something or someone that I had this horrible period of my life and felt like sharing my recovery story with everyone :)


#262404 Wondering. . .

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 08 August 2012 - 04:56 AM

I'll be meeting a friend of mine (know him for like 5 years) , he's in the forum as well and had DPD for 2 years, can't wait for it I bet I'm gonna have so much fun, obviously not gonna focus in the DPD part because what we all want is to get past it


#262333 Is it normal to not want to be alone ever?

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 06 August 2012 - 10:38 AM

I dont know what it is. But i have high anxiety lately. DP has come back because of it but its not extreme and not terrifying yet. But when im not panicking i can almost feel the anxiety. I feel sort of depressed but dont want to be alone or isolate myself. I want someone their quite a bit. I feel like my thoughts are all over the place. I dont know whats happening but it feels like depression and anxiety mixed? Anyone relate is this normal?


I don't know if this is your case, but lately, despite feeling waaay better than I used to, I've been thinking about that... that I don't want to be alone, I do go out but I rarely meet up with people and isolation is scary for me. I'm also afraid that I might never find the right women for me, since it's really hard for me to like someone (even more in this state) and it scares me just to think that I might be alone forever as you say :sad2:


#262072 God Its just one thing after another

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 02 August 2012 - 03:09 AM

So yesterday my dad called and told me he went unconscious for a few minutes, came to and his wife drove him to the hospital. He suspected he had a stroke but the apparently they cleared him and told him to come back for additional tests the next day. Well I called him up and he said they did ECG/MRI etc and they came back clear. Apparently they told him it couldve just been stress. I was a bit apprehensive but still relieved.

But then my sister called and said "did you know dad had a stroke?" I was like WTF. I didnt know what to believe. Maybe my sister misunderstood him but Im starting to think he purposely didnt tell me because he knew it would cause me more anxiety. He told me the day he passed out he still ended up going to his second job after he got out from the hospital. I dont know if he made that up or if they would even release someone with a stroke that quickly. Im so annoyed right now and I feel the need to confront him. Ive been doing great the past few days but this is just making my DPDR go sky high.

Arrrg one step forward five steps back.


Life's all about challenges, sometimes more than enough... Well try and figure out what happened really it'll calm you down :)


#262002 Practical advice

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 31 July 2012 - 05:29 PM

yeah i dont get it. we are all suffering immensely here. i dont get why there is so much antagonism on this board. we're all we have....we should be supporting eachother. we dont have to agree but i see a lot of insulting going around. im like god we are all fucked as it is...why all the petty squabbling. i guess the dpdr just made realize lifes too short for negativity and bullshit.


Exactly dude, this forum should be about what it has always been, the last 2 years I was here everyone was supportive, no one ever complained about someone posting about a diet that has helped them, they probably posted about it because they felt like it helped, maybe it did, maybe it was just placebo effect, does it really matter? We all have this, I don't think we should treat each other differently just because someone else got it from smoking weed, or because someone's on a healthy diet and doing daily exercise to feel better.

I am actually proud of myself, I would have never gotten into a strict diet and daily exercise if it wasn't for this, maybe it's not even affecting my mental health directly, it's probably because that now I know I'm able to do stuff, I'm not some sick little crap that can't get out of the house, hell yeah I feel good and I want to see everyone else getting better, one thing's for sure, arguing about it and not doing anything is definitely not going to help, and once again, I thank Delicate for letting us all know about this amazing lifestyle which doesn't change who you are, it changes how you feel.

Edit: If you're not into diets, try some medication, I was on high doses of anti psychotics and it did help with existential thoughts, wouldn't go back to the medication though after all these months


#261774 My Story

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 29 July 2012 - 05:55 AM

That's so good that u have got better just from exercising an living a healthy life :) i should really make more effort to do that lol x


You totally should! I really have to say, doing all this changed my life, I finally feel like I can be... alive again, I get random bursts of happiness, sometimes I feel retarded because I find myself laughing at nothing, just because I feel happy


#261767 My Story

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 29 July 2012 - 05:37 AM

Wow.... so glad ive found this forum!

Ive had this constant anxiety for the last 4 years.. It all started from a work place incident, where I started to get shortness of breath and dizziness etc..... Anyways the issue never got resolved and I thought moving to another work place would have fixed it... It didnt...

Now I have this constant brain fog,..... like a clamp on my head..... puts you into the worst mood.. it debilitates you.. I dont know how I have managed to keep a full time job and marriage.

reading through many posts it looks like this thing I think is brain fog is really DP. I feel so out of it. Like a zombie.. So spaced out.. No brain power at all.. I watch movies and i cant remember what happened. I have conversations with people and whilst they are talking to me I have no idea what the hell they are blabbering on about...

It seems like I have everything.. Anxiety, DP, Brain FOG, Depression...

I do exercise, I eat well... but as much as i try to get back in touch with my normal self it never works,

I have no emotions at all.... someone close could die and i wouldnt even care..

Ive tried so many things.. anti depressants.. acupuncture.. seeing a psychologist... but it just gets worse and worse..

I literally feel like death when my DP is at its peak... The only thing that helps is sleep or alcohol...

When I drink alcohol I feel like my normal self.. but that is not a cure..

when im walking in the city i walk around and think to myself if only these people could understand how bad im feeling right now...

some days are ok but most days are bad....

I stop doing so many things because I know how much my condition will not let me do it.

Is there really a way out of this hell??? There is no way anyone can function properly.. I dunno how ive done it for years and i dont know how a lot of people have done it for longer...

Im just babbling on right now writing anything that comes to my mind.

Anyways Im going to keep on reading through the forum and hopefully get some answers...


Hello and welcome

Well, you should already be in a good path since you exercise and eat well, maybe uhm... try some supplements? I've had it for 3 years, been to therapy, acupuncture, seen various psychiatrists, been prescribed all sorts of medication (even high doses of anti-psychotics) , none of it worked until now that I decided to do a healthy diet, exercise daily and take Omega 3!


#261656 unsure..

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 27 July 2012 - 12:46 PM

Aww thankyou! that's a nice thing to say :) I'm glad you've learnt to value yourself more, I don't know u but u seem like a nice person lol :)


Oh that's because I am! xD

No problem, just wanna see everyone here getting up on their feet :D


#261623 Any positive experiences with medication???

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 27 July 2012 - 04:06 AM

I was on Fluoxetine for quite a long time, it helped with my depression but as soon as I got out of it it was a bit painful, I got depressed again, yet here I am today after all this time, stopped medication ages ago and I'm feeling better than ever :)


#261575 unsure..

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 26 July 2012 - 04:19 PM

Yeah I do overreact about stuff that people say sometimes lol, i never really did well at school or college an i was lazy an stuff lol but ive tried so hard to change all that, ive had the same job for ages an hardly ever missed a day (touch wood lol) i wanna go back to college an do nursing but but then someone can just say one silly comment an I'll feel like I'm nothing x


Don't let silly comments take you down! If there's something I learned from these past 3 years, is that I need to give myself waaaay more value, I'm way better than what I think and I've been suffering for a long time because I thought I wasn't worth anything, you'll figure that out too soon :)


#261519 HELP :(

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 26 July 2012 - 10:01 AM

Thankyou :) is there anything else that you recommened?


Well, this would be the healthy way to recover, if you really feel like you need to, you can recur to medication but let me warn you that it could make things worse in the long term :sad2:


#261496 unsure..

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 26 July 2012 - 03:23 AM

Yeah it kind of makes sense that to go forward u have to go back an make peace with stuff, if i dont i feel like my problems might just keep coming back, i get very angry when people say anything negative to me aswell, i think deep down I'm quite angry coz i feel like ive let myself be bullied for a lot of my life! An i feel angry that i have ocd an stuff even tho its no ones fault lol, i feel angry that other people can just do things so easily an have a normal life an i cant sometimes but I'll be ok :) i just need to focus on positive things an not let other peoples negativity affect me :) I'm grateful to be here an appreciate life :) i never thought I'd make it to 24 so I'm not gonna have a shit one! I'm gonna make sure my life is good an when ive got through all my problems it will be even better :) x


Yep I can totally relate to the part where you let yourself get bullied, I did the same and I spent years being mad at myself because I didn't do anything about it, but we just have to let that go and find peace, one thing we should never do is seek revenge.

Also, it helps a lot to talk about that with someone, tell them how you felt back then, how mad you probably got because you never did anything, you'll probably feel better!


#261435 Why do you guys single out DP

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 25 July 2012 - 06:27 AM

This is why I find this forum so pointless, it's full of obnoxious retards who have been through dp for 2 days and think they have it sorted.
Are you actually trying to explain to me how my depersonalization works? I have tried everything to get rid of it starting by changing my thinking pattern. It's not a thinking pattern either, it's more of a feeling pattern or perceiving pattern, something I still don't know how to modify.

No, I don't have any "numbed" anxiety, that's bullshit. I'm not saying that it isn't possible for some people to have this because of anxiety, but it's certainly not the only possible explanation. Why not anger or frustration or something other thing instead? Why not a physical problem?

And why do you think there are people that have got dp for over 15 years? It's because you can handle your mental issues so well? No, it's because they do have a problem and you don't.


I agree with you at some point, but there's no need for insults, whenever I see someone with a bunch of theories that don't make sense I also tend to respond, and if they try to convince me that they are right while I know they are not, I get kinda mad but I rather not say anything after that.

Anyways, after 3 years with DPD my ideas are pretty much confused, after realizing that I wanted to clear the confusion, so I grabbed my old book "Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder" , it is related to anxiety most of the times, still it is possible to have it without any anxiety, and even get DPD with no apparent reason


#261429 unsure..

Posted by PositiveThinking! on 25 July 2012 - 04:20 AM

A lot of people say we have to face our fears and traumas, others say we have to move on with our life and make the most of it.

I think it requires a combination of those 2 to actually feel better and eventually recover, I've found out recently that I had a few traumatic events back when I was a kid and I'm trying to "go back" in time in my memory to see what I was thinking and feeling when I was exposed to those situations, I think that'll help me getting rid of emotions that have been lurking in my head for years.

I've also been trying to move on with my life, I've been doing a lot of stuff I used to avoid, the combination of these 2 seems perfect to me, so if you do have hidden traumas or if you know exactly what happened, try and figure out how you felt and make peace with yourself, also try to do things you'd usually avoid because they will make you feel more disconnected from reality, and most important of all, do not let yourself go down whenever you're feeling worse!