fieldsmatt31 - Viewing Profile: Topics - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content

Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


Member Since 16 Dec 2009
Offline Last Active Dec 20 2020 12:46 AM

Topics I've Started

I remember when I first recovered

01 October 2019 - 12:04 AM

I've been interacting a lot lately with the DP forum. It might partly be because I'm on vacation. This evening, I was reading another post about someone who said they recovered from DP by dieting and eating well, (I like to advocate food for healing) and as I was commenting on his post I started to reflect on the time when I fully recovered from DP..... instead of leaving what i had wrote on his thread Ill copy and paste it here




...I remember the time period when I recovered. It was a span of a few months. I was intentionally becoming very intimately engaged with myself as I was describing above. When eating food I would connect with the food, peeling a cucumber, slicing a tomatoe, picking out the seeds in a watermelon. I would examine the food, the colors, the texture, I would feel it and try to understand where it came from. It came from the Earth. It came from a plant, another kind of living creature. It seemed ironic, food that is perfectly healthy for me grows naturally out of the ground. I began to appreciate the basic goodness of things, simple things. The sun that comes up everyday. The trees whose leaves rustle in the wind. The rain. Drinking cups. Forks. Pillows. Simple things. 


I made taking showers a very intimate and gentle process. A time for connecting to my body. I had a soft sponge and with an organic, soft soap I would bath myself very carefully. I washed all parts of my body. I bathed very slowly and carefully in between my toes not to miss any part of myself. This was a time of self discovery for me and RELAXATION. I was more appreciative of the bathing process then I had ever been. As I would bath I noticed the veins throughout my body and I could feel my heart pumping blood through the veins. Hair on my legs and arms. How alive the body is. How present and pure the body is. A very fine vessel. A living organism. As I washed my feet I would feel the sponge against my skin, I could feel the outside of my feet. And then I would feel the inside of my feet from inside my foot. And I would feel my arms from inside my arms. I would feel all parts of my body from inside my body. And I wanted to stay like this, to season like this. Taking showers during this period of time was a very healing, spiritual practice. Needless to say, I spent many hours in the shower. 


The gentleness, respect, and intimacy that i would have bathing myself went with me back into my room and I would put on a nice scent. Sometimes some gentle music, only if I loved it. And I cleaned my room very nicely and arranged my things in a loving way. My linens and clothes were very clean and comfortable. My room became an art project. I would hang beautiful paintings on the wall and arrange them in a way that I enjoyed. I had little ornaments that each one of them had a special meaning to me and I put them in special places in the room. And I took the same gentleness, respect, appreciation, and love into my yard and into my kitchen and I tried to take it with me every where I would go. 


I began to view my body as something sacred. Even though I didnt know who or what I was I understood enough that my body was an existential phenomena that is as much a part of existence as the whole earth is. A real living speciman, in live time. I did know that much. I thought later I might discover or understand more what I am. But, at this time, my body was a mysterious phenomena of unknown origins. I was existing and my body was existing, i did know that. And I appreciated that I didnt know more except that the whole universe, including myself, and my body was all happening. Happening as a verb. I even started to see trees as verbs instead of as nouns. Something existence is doing. A real scientific, living, phenomena. To me, was very interesting and exciting. As the whole universe happens perfectly on its own so does the body. And it all happens at exactly the same time, right now. And so my exercise became intimate. Stretching became intimate, I would stretch very carefully and to feel all the parts of the muscles. I would message the muscles too. I wanted to take very good care of this thing that was my body. And so I did. It was like I was discovering myself for the first time.


Sometime during a span of a month or maybe two I had lost the DP. I cant remember exactly when it left but it left. I had hard times after this time period, for sure. But DP was gone.   

Advice for recovering

25 August 2019 - 07:28 PM


Go on living.

Just go live.

And it will go away.

Go live and then forget about it.

You're never going to be what you were in the past. You're always going to be something new. Make the best of it. That's all you can do.

Don't look back, it's pointless.

Don't be so quick to define your situation. It is a new but ever changing phenomena all the time.

You're always going to be changing and growing.

Go live.

Just go live.

One day you're going to be dead.

You get one body. It is your vessel to be in this world. That alone is a miracle. What is interesting?

But one day, you will certainly die. I'm 100 percent certain of it. And everyone you know will die too.

Take care of your health.

If youre in your mid 20's you have a long way to go. You could live another 50 years, easily. But that's about all you get.

Take care of your health.


Make your self strong. You have a long journey ahead.

Own it.

Embrace it.

Embrace your life. Embrace your self.

Own it. Do it.

Get a job or a career if you want. Learn some skills.

One day you will be carrying on with your life, busy doing something, and you will realize the whole dp thing is no longer a part of your life. It will be gone. And you will realize it wasn't really anything anyways, just another state of mind.

The day that it left isn't even important. Who cares? You will be too engaged in your life to care. And dp becomes that petty.

It's true.

You will be caught up in your life and it will be gone. That's how it works. I've seen it happen in different people and myself as well.

Santa clause doesn't leave presents until your asleep.

So just put it out of your mind and carry on with your life.

Exercise alone can take you out of your funk. That's what dp and dr is.

Just a bunch of funk.

You're in a funk.

That's all it is, I'm absolutely certain of it.

Get out of it. Let's go.

I am 100 percent certain you can get out of it.

You leave dp and dr when you get up and leave it.

Just get up and leave it.

If you fall, get up. Try again.

If you fall, try again. Again and again and again if you have to.

Just go.

That's it. It's as simple as that.

Really, depersonalization isn't as big a deal as you're making it out to be.

I know I know, it seems like it. You want some kind of credit for your terrible disposition. But sorry, you don't get any of that.

You're ok.

Just go.

It's not as bad as you think it is. And it's not as hard as you think it is either.

Sorry to be the one to tell you.

You have to over come it. You best be getting your self healthy and making your self strong and overcoming your fears.

It gets easier and easier and easier and easier.

Face your fears.

If you're embarrassed of being afraid, good, it's embarrassed. So what, get over it. Does it really hurt? A little bit, I know. You'll be alright.

Take care of your mental health too.

Don't know how? Learn.

Try it.

Try to improve your mental health and your physical health too and see for your self how do you feel.

Don't know how? Learn. It's all up to you.

Make a list.

What can I do to improve the quality of my life? And do those things.

Be active. Find solutions.


Reading is a good past-time. It can change your life.

Knowledge is practical.

Beware of drugs and cigerettes. They can do damage to your health.

What are you hung up on? Philosophy? Wondering what/who you are?

If so, that is your quest. It is for you to learn. Go learn. Isnt it interesting? I mean, you could not be here but you are. Amazing.

You are pure awareness, alive in this world via body.

Go live, I dare you.

Go for a hike. Read something interesting. Go to the beach. Start a business. Educate your self. Go camping. Make friends and family. It's life. Time to go live.


Learn about life.


There's so much you don't know.

Learn something.

Don't get hung up on this dp stuff.


Have any hobbies?

Gardening? Yoga? Swimming? Biking? Wrestling? Hiking? Rock climbing? Traveling? Horse riding? Basketball? Dancing?

You should get some exercise.

Exercise is so good for your mental and physical health.

Yoga is great.

If you're going on a walk or a jog, don't forget to stretch. You don't want to injure your body, then you're really screwed.

Do you know how to eat? How to prepare meals that are healthy for you?

Do you have a meal plan? An exercise or yoga plan?

How are you going to live? You have many years ahead of you. Go.

Learn. Have fun.

Beware of junk food, it can make you sick.

You don't wanna be sick. Yuck.

Better brush your teeth and don't eat to much sugar or your teeth will rot.

Don't over eat. It's better to eat less then too much.

Take care of your body.

More importantly, take care of your soul.

Have you experienced the calm releif of silence and stillness?

Meditation. Mmmmm, that's the ticket.

Rocks are cool. Herbs are cool. Ecology and nature is cool. Or maybe your into technology or engineering. Cool. Your potential is endless.

Maybe it's fashion that interests you or maybe you don't have may interests at all?

Something is interesting to you, I know, or you wouldn't be reading this. Is it psychology then?

Have you learned about the theory of evolution and how over a long period of time things have changed and have grown into what we are now? Is that interesting or what?

How about a joke? Got any funny jokes? I do. I am ready. I have at least 3 jokes I can spit out at any given time. Wha u got?

Did you know people are planning to colonize Mars?

What interests you?

How are you going to finance your living? That's a big one.

All of these things and more are part of living.

My point is simple. Take responsibility for your self and you will out grow the dp stuff.

You'll grownright out of it. But you gotta go live to do that. You have to let it go and go on about your life. It's nothing.

I can look back at the years of this depersonalization and anxiety and depression and laugh.

Oh how awful and dreadful and impossible it seemed. I considered suicide. But it seems lightweight when you develop the strength. I'm 30 years old now. I was 19.

If it is hard, it gets easier. You have to be strong.

You will become strong naturally. If you're afraid, be brave. Bravery isn't fearlessness. Bravery is being afraid but conquering it anyways. Then you become fearless.

Don't get hung up on this dp stuff.

I'm so serious.

Go live.