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Member Since 04 Oct 2009
Offline Last Active Nov 26 2019 03:18 PM

#581370 I feel a million miles off the ground

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 30 May 2018 - 10:23 AM

I've spent years feeling like I'm floating through space, so I know how bad it is, I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

What's helped me is focusing on real world issues, like self-support in self-talk. How often do we beat ourselves up in our minds? Change that. Defend yourself in your mind, always. Negative influence didn't come from you, challenge it.

Change thoughts by repetition so they become automatic. If you have your deeper self on-side and working for you it's a snowball effect.

Also, natural source b-vits (I take spirulina) and a little l-theanine helps a lot.

Are you better now? I am a ghost. Its like you could walk right through me. I feel like my life is so useless.

#580482 lost, disconnected, tired of life

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 24 May 2018 - 09:03 PM

I literally could of wrote this same thing. I am right there with you. I am SO sorry you are suffering. This is downright hell. I dont know what to do at all.

#573850 Does your brain give you your sense of self?

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 28 April 2018 - 09:48 AM

So if we have a brain, that means we always have hope? Our brains are doing this to us?

My brain has totally shut down. Body feels so weird but it feels like there is nothing there. This if probably one the worst panic attacks I have ever had. A

I can’t concentrate and i feel completely. Where my head is it feels like it is just air. It’s like I don’t exist at all.

I haven’t slept in a long time. My won’t do it and i just get so frightened by these symptoms. I have totally disconnected.

#572786 Can’t except my identity because

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 23 April 2018 - 10:50 PM

I'm tried and so drained from having this so long im bored with it and just so over it

I have no choice but to except it. If i don’t, I get super anxious. What caused yours?

#572762 Can’t except my identity because

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 23 April 2018 - 10:28 PM

Yep I don't feel at all who i use to be bit I also can't remember who i use to be its like who i was for 31 years was some one else , i even forget how I use to act or do its all gone from my mind wiped gone.
I don't no how to repair myself its like all the Pisces of me are all broken and I can't put it all together.
I've had this over 2 years now , i dont know if its even possible that I could go back to who i was before this nightmare . And when i think about how do i get back to the old me I feel so trapped cause i dont have a clue to how to get back to the normal me , it makes me very scared cause we're do i start .
Your def not alone in this but this is online i wish I had someone in my life in person that could understand how hell bad I feel , i feel fully alone and stuck

I know exactly what you mean! This is so scary. To not know who you are is terrifying. I don’t know how to get back either

#572602 No identity

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 23 April 2018 - 02:41 PM

I can understand that. To me it’s crazy that the person who caused this to happen to me even has a perception of me. But i don’t. He exists in his own natural state but bc of him I can’t. But he doesn’t know that.

I am truly a shell. Emptier then one should ever have to be. It’s uncomfortable to even be alive at all. I don’t even remember who Annie was. (Me) what she looked like.

I had to leave bc I was that scared.

I can’t even fake being me or anyone right now. I have relapsed so much.

#571194 Is this the same as soul loss

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 18 April 2018 - 06:10 AM

My main point though is arguing that if you are a soul, then these feelings wouldn't bother you if you really lost your soul. Because what would be the Self in you that is feeling all the pain of this?

I think I get what you are saying now. Sorry I am so slow lately. You are saying that more so my body is lost and I would agree with that. My biggest complaint is that I can’t feel my body or my physicality. Someone is experiencing that and that is me, the soul. The soul is not lost, it’s the body that is lost/ disconnected.

#563353 I am really having a hard time

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 17 March 2018 - 07:50 PM

I know everyone else here is too. You guys I don’t experience anything and that is not an exaggeration. I sit here and just observe and not apart of anything including my own experience. I really feel hopeless. And that life is no longer worth living. What’s the point? Literally I have been removed from my own life! I don’t think there is anything anyone can say that would help me. I just don’t know what to do. I have tried everything. I continue to do everything normal without ever experiencing it. I am just really sad and feel extremely hopeless.

#562929 describe dp/dr

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 16 March 2018 - 10:18 PM

Nothing feels right. I don’t feel my body doing the things it’s doing. I am not experiencing anything whether it be sitting on the couch watching tv or showering, etc. somehow I function enough to keep a job and talk as needed. But it doesn’t feel like me. Like at all. I feel soulless. No one looking through my eyes. Not in control. Hollow.

#542450 I don’t remember who I was

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 12 January 2018 - 12:03 AM

It’s weird too bc here i left my body and no one even notices! It’s like i died and no one notices. It’s a pretty drastic difference from who i was and how i am now. I will always say with dp “I am just a body” “no soul”

#542418 I don’t remember who I was

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 11 January 2018 - 11:18 PM

I don’t remember anything about me or who i used to be. I don’t remember the person that was formerly in my body. Can that come back? Even after this long? I don’t think i can live much longer like this. I am completely gone. I don’t know how my body does it tbh. There is no point in living if there is no one here.

#542410 Out of body

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 11 January 2018 - 11:16 PM

I get these attacks where i feel out of my body. I woke up today and i felt so out of my body and like my body doesnt belong to me! how do people deal with this?

Doesn’t everyone with dp have that? I mean i have been living like that for years. And i don’t even feel detached I am just gone

#541626 I would rather die then live one more year with DP

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 09 January 2018 - 10:53 PM

I had it for several years where it was unbearable 247/365 of suffering. daily anxiety attacks and depression. It didn't really get better until about a year or two ago.. before that all I felt was different changes in the severity of it from day to day.

What happened that it got better? How can someone suffer so much? This all seems really unnecessary. I really do not understand the suffering of this condition. I need some hope.

#538746 I would rather die then live one more year with DP

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 01 January 2018 - 11:48 AM

and its just as bad as it was then?

Worse and worse but I don’t remember. I have ptsd. But i am more gone then I was. I think. You just get tired of constantly fighting for your life. This shouldn’t be a thing. Ever ever ever.

#538714 I would rather die then live one more year with DP

Posted by CoffeeGirl9 on 01 January 2018 - 11:23 AM

I can’t tell you that enough. I would rather be dead then live one more day let alone one more year with DP. I literally have lost everything. Everything. I just want to die peacefully. DP= death.

Anything is better then living with this awful condition. I can’t feel anything. I am completely gone. I might as well be dead.

Sorry I just am at a loss. I have zero help or support. My recent therapist was awful. Meds do nothing. I literally go and do everything even though I have this and nothing helps it. I work. I work out. I eat right.

I don’t get it or why i deserve such a horrible horrible condition.