I know from my experience that fluorescent lighting really aggrivates my DR. I go into stores like WalMart and I go into an instant dreamlike trance. Visually it looks hazy, dark, dreamy, weird, alien, different. People will look flat or 2 dimensional. Other objects appear flat or will stick out at me. Vertical or horizontal lines will vibrate or jumb around (like an optical illusion). Everything just becomes weird and bizarre.
Incandescent light sometimes bother me somtimes. It gives off a yellow like haze over the entire room, also too dark appearing. With my DR, it causes things to look visually weird, dreamlike, scary anyways, but certain lighting makes it alot worse. Why?
Does anyone else get affected by certain lighting like this. I have read it drives people like us batty. But I want to know how does it affect you specifically. What happens to you. (puts you in a trance?, Visually bothers you? , make you feel like nothing is real, your in a dream?)
I have noticed a few strange symptoms, sensations, etc... These do not bother me really but I wonder how closely the are tied to my DR,depression,anxiety. Anyone relate or want to add to this list?
1. I thing I can actually feel when my chemicals in my brain are out of wack. I get dizzy, disoriented. What your stomach feels like on a roller coaster but in your head when you turn it fast.
2. Nonstop teeth grinding, jaw clenching, even in my sleep. In the mornings I feel like I have been in a 10 round fight.
3. Looking at vertical lines like blinds or striped shirts drive me crazy. They vibrate or jump around.
4. Skull is burning on top, forehead numb, my eyeballs actually hurt.
I can deal with this little stuff alot easier than feeling high,in a dream, or overanalyzing my environment (DR VISON!)
DP/DR, dissociating, ocd, depression, anxiety, fear. Which came first?
Do I have one as the result of another? Do I have all these independently resulting in the total mental illness I am suffering? If I could strip away the anxiety, obsessions, depression, would my DR also leave?
Is it possible if you look hard enough for something your mind could trick you into seeing it while in our mindset? I have this fear of my DP/DR,anxiety, depression, and, Obsessive being caused by takina 1/2 hit of acid 25 years aso. I know I have had problems before that time though. I am constantly looking for the symptoms of HPPD. Static vision, trails, color confusion, geometric shapes, halos on lights, starburst. Hppd scares the crap out of me. I hate to think that I am in a permanent Hell of hallucinations.
Here is why I ask. I am always moving my hand in front of my face to see if I can see trails. Usually I see nothing, maybe a very slight afterimage. In certain light at dusk, I believe I see the faintest trail following my hand. Also when I used to smoke in the dark, I would move the cigarette in a circle(like a sparkler) and after I stopped the trail would catch up with the cigarette after 1 second. I have slight static when I look at the sky, and I have floaters. But none of the other stuff like walls breathing or hallucination. I do see a small spark of light in my vision every now and then.
Am I being obseesive and talking myself into seeing this stuff or am I infact ruined from that one bad choice decades ago.
The problem is when I resolve this my mind will latch onto something else.