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Member Since 15 May 2007
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#437946 a moment of reality..

Posted by creativedp on 08 March 2017 - 03:51 AM

Such moments are the most precious. People who have them all the time do not recognize its value.  We realize that this blessed moment of feeling real is more valuable than any material fortune.  Congratulations and best wishes for their continued occurrence.

#361071 Feeling Unreal--A Mouse Trap?

Posted by creativedp on 30 November 2015 - 02:15 AM

As most of us may have experienced, feeling unreal remains a trap for us for a long period of time, sometimes decades.  Why is it so?  Why doesn't the fixation or obsession get lighter and vanish as time passes?


I had an insight which helped me in finding a solution to the problem.


The fact is "feeling unreal" is not unreal, but a painful reality.


When the distressing experience of "feeling unreal" becomes like a pretension, something not true or real, a part of the fog of the continuous, depressing experience, it becomes a trap.  One's distressful experience also becomes a part of the diabolic unreal state.  Everything becomes unreal including one's feeling unreal.  This makes the person helpless in identifying the true nature of the problem, "see it for what it is". Even the horrible experience becomes something of a pretension, a lie, an "as if" thing.



When one gains insight into this vicious circle one opens a door to escape from the inner mouse trap. One's feeling unreal is not a pretension, but a painful, terrible reality.  One has to perceive it as such in moments of insight which becomes milestones in the long path to recovery.

#357779 End of the Road to DP Recovery

Posted by creativedp on 21 September 2015 - 11:53 PM



Finding one's "I-feeling", the taste of I and me, the self-taste, especially when one has been desperately craving for it for a long time, for me for forty years, is a very very precious moment.  I have kept that hope alive, studied, meditated, searched, researched, went on living an "as if" life, building one's family, keeping up a facade, and still fighting this dark enemy silently, unknown to the world for forty plus long years.


Everyone reading this should keep the hope alive, that is the weapon to fight this unimaginably powerful enemy.  I have kept the fight alive along with college teaching, achievement of  high academic positions, carrying on of dp research, weathering financial crisis, enduring family problems of great severity and misunderstanding by people, and so on...yet the fight went on silently with the hope that the victory would come at least a day before my death.


I have kept the fight alive for the last forty plus years and finally it is dawning, slowly, surely.  I have kept a record of the mammoth fight in journals running into more than 10,000 pages, the dark volumes, out of which I would like to bring out a single volume of hope and endurance, a green book.


If it takes ten more years for full recovery, I am ready  to wait.  But as things stand it may not be necessary to wait too long.   Things look brighter every day and it fills me with joy that the prize is worth the long years of struggle, patient, very patient, maddeningly patient waiting, innumerable days of study, soul searching, probing the depth of the darkness using the utmost fiber of one's creative urge and potentialities, to the last drop of endurance.


Good wishes for a speedy recovery and hope.



#172047 Emotions and Feelings: Key to Recovery

Posted by creativedp on 02 October 2009 - 07:27 AM

No persons who are in touch with their emotions and bodily feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant would complain that they are depersonalized.

In the absence of emotions and feelings we can know ourselves, the world, and other people only intellecutally. We will be able to go through life like an automaton. Days, months and years will roll by meaninglessly. Emotional world gives the feeling of reality which makes life meaningful and worth living in spite of all sorts of real problems. Intellectual world is an emply world. In the absence of emotions, the experience of the self and the world assumes a diabolic quality, which is extremely obnoxious and difficult to describe.

Depersonalized persons function with themselves, other persons and the world in a non-emotional manner. Brain studies have shown that the emotional centres of depersonalized persons are not sufficiently stimulated. Emotional repression or other causes such as drug abuse, traumatic incidents etc. etc. may be the causes.

The causes are the thing of the past. At present what we can do is to get in touch with our emotions, bodily feelings, and other sensations either pleasant or unpleasant. In the beginning one would find hardly anything to feel. Little by little once can get in touch with one emotions. Very often negative emotions like utter despair, anger, insecurity, the feeling that everything is lost, feelings of meaningless, open the door to positive emotions.

Many of us may require the help of a good psychotherapist to get in touch with our emotions and feelings as they remain repressed and unreal. Repressed emotions change one's world in a fundamental way. We will only appreciate it only when we get in touch with our emotional life. Don't consider unpleasant emotions and feelings your enemies; in fact they are your friends. But it requires tremendous amount of courage to accept one's negative emotions like despair and anger. If you find it extremely difficult to get in touch with the negative emotions, seek professional help. Tell them plainly you want to get in touch these repressed emotions. It would be easier for them to help you. You can save precious time and money by avoiding psychological games like playing helpless victim who can never recover. One need not be a specialist in depersonalization therapy to help you to get in touch with your negative emotions.

Plenty of bodily exercise especially walking, playing outdoor games, jogging etc. are useful in making the body more alive and to experience bodily feelings.