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Thomas2021

Member Since 01 Mar 2021
Offline Last Active Mar 28 2021 01:45 PM
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Topics I've Started

Higher stress level?

24 March 2021 - 02:04 AM

Does anybody have like a hyperactive mind? Like a brain that can’t just relax, but needs SOMETHING all day long to do. Like an obsession.

 

For me it was like my brain went into a higher level in 2012 when I used drugs, and never went back to normal. It’s like the brain kicked into high gear, and has been in that state since, refusing to calm down.

 

some people describe a “black mind”, that’s not my problem at all. More like the opposite. Like my brain just HAS to be busy all day, and there’s no alternative to relax.

I struggle to just watch a movie with out losing focus, like my mind can’t focus for long before drifting of into daydreaming or thinking about other things.


Unhealthy daydreaming

12 March 2021 - 01:22 AM

Hi (background info: I have had some extreme periods with DP/DR, not diagnosed with it, but strongly believe that’s what I have had, since using drugs in 2012, but now I feel it’s more or less almost in remission, but still struggle with other things)

 

Does anyone struggle with daydreaming?

 

I can give some examples from my own life.

 

For example, when walking outside and listening to music at the same time, I have a tendency to fall into a deep daydreaming state, often playing a made up scenario or story over and over again in my head.

 

Another example could be while riding a bus, also then falling into a deep fantasy daydreaming state. I remember one time I got annoyed when my (at that time current, but now ex-) girlfriend interrupted me while I was daydreaming. I was in fact a little bit annoyed that she would interrupt my daydreaming... haha..

 

It is like an addiction! I have done this since I was a child, and it can happen without me noticing it. Suddenly I can find myself in a deep daydream while doing everyday tasks, but I can also do it on purpose.


At war with my brain since 2012

03 March 2021 - 01:28 AM

Hi people.

The summer of 2012 I smoked marijuana/ weed (or whatever it’s called) a few times as a teenager. My brain was never the same again.

I experienced what I could describe as full blown depersonalization and derealization. It was scary! I had extreme dissociative symtpoms. Not long after, the infamous insane DP/DR related thoughts appeared and accompanied the dissociative symptoms. I thought I was going insane, no joke.

And since then, I have had various mental problematic. It feels like a shape shifting negative mental illness that can take on the form of DP/DR, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, daydreaming and OCD.
I have had periods with extreme mental rituals and silly mind games, and periods with extreme DP/DR. And some periods with anxiety.

Right now I’m suffering with intrusive thoughts. It feels like my brain is throwing horrible thoughts at me, and I can’t make it stop. Also, I have a tendency to daydream and let my mind wander.

I could say I have had 3 periods with extreme DP/DR. And maybe some short episodes in addition to those. But using drugs in 2012, I have had mental problems in various forms.

I used to argue for the trauma explanation for this mental condition, but who knows.. it starter after using drugs..
I have never been diagnosed with DDD, but are you really surprised? It’s not exactly a famous and well known disorder. Neither have I been diagnosed with OCD, I have hid that from therapists due to shame and embarrassment.
I actually don’t know if I’m diagnosed with any mental disorder at all, how does one know? I can’t recall receiving a piece of paper with a list of disorders.

I have had mental problems prior to the drug use. I used to be extremely shy, and had quite an imagination. I have also suspected some personality disorder, maybe borderline/ histrionic, but I’m no doctor.

I have an account on here made in 2012, but I didn’t even attempt to reuse that for now, I was 17, guys.

So please share, people! Any one feel like they have like a shape shifting mental illness taking on various forms?