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Member Since 01 Sep 2005
Offline Last Active Oct 07 2013 05:58 PM

#254498 I'm dead

Posted by Pablo on 02 April 2012 - 07:08 PM

It doesn't matter if you are dead or alive or if it is all a dream or not, you still have to find a way to deal with whatever reality you are faced with in the best way possible, how you classify it doesn't really matter.

#254230 How is DP not just PTSD?

Posted by Pablo on 30 March 2012 - 04:40 AM

I think trauma and dp have the same root which is not being allowed or short circuiting your natural authentic emotional response to what happens to you in life. It usually isn't what happens to you in life which messes you up rather it is your reaction or being denied a reaction which causes long term problems.

But you don't necessarily have to have been traumatised to get dp because all sorts of things can invalidate your natural emotional reactions, for example "normal" belief systems like boys shouldn't cry and girls shouldn't get angry are depersonalising beliefs which short circuit you. A huge range of belief systems, patterns and issues in "normal" loving families and in society in general can be depersonalising.

#247396 I'm finally cured

Posted by Pablo on 11 January 2012 - 04:07 PM

That's why I never got on this website, because 99% of it is negative and self-defeating crap.

Yeah but the thing is those negative people say they have no emotions but in reality they are angry, you can tell in the way they post they are very angry, but they just don't realise it or admit it and keep talking about having no emotions.

#246086 ECT - I'm thinking of trying electro-convulsive therapy

Posted by Pablo on 06 December 2011 - 02:19 PM

I thought it was banned for being too barbaric. You need love and compassion to heal not extreme violence towards the most sensitive part of your body.

If you really want to try an extreme therapy and are willing to do anything then go to Peru to take Ayahuasca.

#243962 Curing DPD with Ayahuasca

Posted by Pablo on 11 November 2011 - 09:55 AM

So I should probably do an update, last month I went to Peru for about two weeks to try Ayahuasca to try to get a cure, there is also another member here who went too called pwcinema but unfortunately our times didn't match up so he went a few weeks before me, although we kept in touch a bit with our progress. I could probably write a whole essay about this trip but I am unsure if I should write my full story as I doubt many people would have it as rough as me so my experiences may not be the best indicator as to what to expect, basically the Ayahuasca magnifies all your fears 100% so it can be a very rough ride so I would only recommend it to people who are prepared to face that.

At the end of it I don't feel cured but I do feel that there are cracks in the walls of my problems, I feel personal interactions are a bit easier and my emotions are flowing a bit better and things generally seem clearer even weeks after I coming back, although I still have a long way to go, perhaps with more time I could have made more progress as I only had two weeks but I couldn't afford to stay longer, maybe the cracks will bring it all down in the end time will tell. Hopefully pwcinema will update his story when he can but I think he is still in Peru as for him it sounds like it has been completely transformative as he is still out there working with it to further his healing. I see how Ayahuasca can help cure many problems, it forces you to face and let go of your fears and for many people it even forces you to face your own death, at one point I thought I had put myself in a permanent state of insanity for life which if you can imagine is a pretty stressful place to go to, but I survived and feel all the better for it, but it also puts you in touch with your real inner goodness which can be like rediscovering yourself or coming home. It's still not something I would recommend for everyone with psychological problems as it is pretty extreme medicine but if you feel called and ready for it then it could help.

Thanks to Abraxas for making this thread otherwise I probably would never have gone at all.

#239034 Do People Recover?

Posted by Pablo on 22 August 2011 - 10:08 AM

I expect almost everyone recovers, my guess would be 99% and i'm not just saying that to give people hope or make anyone feel better.

#238892 Is this a hallucination?

Posted by Pablo on 19 August 2011 - 11:47 AM

It sounds like you are experiencing what every other human on the planet experiences all of the time when they are in the sun, except you are focusing on as a target for your anxiety

#237181 im 99% sure dp/dr is caused by underlying anxiety

Posted by Pablo on 27 July 2011 - 12:40 PM

I would say it's a mix of repressed emotion and anxiety. The anxiety can't be released because the mind doesn't want to feel it.

If you think about it, DP is actually a very very effective way of suppressing what you don't want to feel.

I agree with you. The question is where does anxiety come from? in my view it has to come from the clash of forces or energies, so for example say you are really angry but in your family anger is not allowed then there is the clash of the energy of anger and the repression, shame and control of it >>>>>> <<<<<<< which creates an irresolvable stuck conflict within you, the symptom of which is anxiety. You can only take so much anxiety and conflict before your mind tries to find a way out.

#235766 Close to ending it all...

Posted by Pablo on 09 July 2011 - 02:13 PM

so if I'd wrote "you're acting weak" instead of "weak people" you would'nt have had the same reaction, right? :wink: come on.

If it had been directed at me personally yes I would have been far more able to reflect on whether my behaviour was weak or not, rather than get so defensive that you were attacking me as a person. One of the main causes of low self esteem in children is because parents define their child by one aspect or behaviour they don't like, so instead of saying something like "what you did was stupid" they say "you are stupid", can you not see the huge difference in that different approach?

#235756 Close to ending it all...

Posted by Pablo on 09 July 2011 - 01:55 PM

you can punch someone in the face by decision, and you can do that by anger. if you do that by anger, you should think about why that person was able to make you lose it. if you think about that, that can be beneficial.

Well if you say that someone is a "weak person" rather than something like "you are acting weak" then you are trying to completely define who they are by just one part of their character, so it is a form of attempted dominance and a belittling of them as a person ,which is a common tactic of bullying to completely define a person by one negative characteristic they have. So I can look inside and get insight into how that insult affects me but I still have a right to defend myself from it as it is an attack.

#235733 Close to ending it all...

Posted by Pablo on 09 July 2011 - 01:22 PM

Speaking the truth and tough love is all good, but you have to communicate in a way which is not going to be completely rejected for it to help so that means no judgement, if someone called me a weak person even if they had the best intentions I probably wouldn't listen to a word they ever said ever again no matter how helpful it might be, plus I would be tempted to punch them in the face.

#235705 Close to ending it all...

Posted by Pablo on 09 July 2011 - 11:54 AM

haha this is just not true, and you know it.

weak people wants to believe that everybody else is weak, but sorry, it's just the absence of self-honesty.

You are talking shit, how do you define a weak person? if you are saying someone is weak just because they are suffering and don't know a way out you obviously don't have a clue.

#235635 Curing DPD with Ayahuasca

Posted by Pablo on 08 July 2011 - 01:40 PM

I don't think the healing in "The Horse Boy" required any faith either, well the parents had to have some belief to make the trip at all but Rowan didn't even really understand what was going on and I doubt he really understood what a Shaman really was except someone who dressed up funny, so I don't think faith played a significant role.

#235538 Close to ending it all...

Posted by Pablo on 07 July 2011 - 03:20 PM

So i have had DP/DR for 10 years nonstop, marijuana induced..

I cant take this anymore.. im 23.. live in my moms basement have no job, losing all my friends, cant get a gf, have no purpose in life. I live in and out of psyche wards for the past 2 years... my life has fallen apart pretty bad. Im also a drug addict and smoke marijuana daily.. its playing with fire i know but its the only thing that relieves the pain.. I notice my brain changing for the worse. My thought process dosent exhist.. so i cant put sentences together well or understand what people are saying or concepts. I guess this goes with the horrible concentration. The only support i have in my life in my mom whose always been there for me. Im spiraling into oblivion. I think about ending my life everyday. I feel like if the oppurtunity arose i wouldd kill myself. Its too complicated too kill myself. if i could just take a pill and endit all i would at this point. I have no reasons for living except for my mom. I have no accomplishments in my life other then battling dp for ten years. I need reasons to not kill myself. I need reasons to live...

All I can say is that none of us know the future, things might be absolute hell now but there is nothing to say things wont be completely different in a year or even a few months time, they say the only certainty in life is change so hang in there. Even if you cant see any way out now try not to trust those thoughts as you don;t know the future.

#235230 Curing DPD with Ayahuasca

Posted by Pablo on 04 July 2011 - 01:43 PM

Just to add to this conversation

I saw this film years ago, and should have added it to the conversation.
A young autistic boy was really helped by Shamans in Mongolia


I watched this yesterday, thanks I thought it was quite good, I think the whole focus of the family on healing him and an acceptance that his "illness" was as much to do with the family and parents as it was to do with the boy must have helped a great deal. I feel in my case anyway I am blamed as the "ill" one of the family and my problems are mine alone and nothing do to with anyone else, which makes healing very difficult from this isolated place.

I am still thinking of going to Peru to try ayahuasca, I have done a bit of research into centres and found a few which might be ok and am trying to organise a few weeks off work and see if I have enough courage to go through with it alone. Will update if I do go.