sebastian - Viewing Profile: Posts - Depersonalization Community

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Member Since 11 Aug 2004
Offline Last Active Sep 15 2019 01:48 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Lamotrigine

21 October 2017 - 07:59 PM

I'm just about to start Lamotrigine and happened upon this thread.  Thanks, Thy, for compiling all this.  It's been hugely helpful.

In Topic: experiencing DP/DR for the second time?

21 October 2017 - 08:23 AM

Hi there, and welcome to the forum.  In your case, I would suggest throwing yourself into your college classes.  It'll likely subside as you'll be meeting new people, learning new things, etc.  That's the best thing for it in the short term.  If you feel like it isn't subsiding, you should go to a doctor and obtain a diagnosis for DP.  Then you're sort of "in the system" officially, and you can try to attack it from that angle.  Good luck with school and your DP.  This forum is a great place for support too, by the way.  You may find it helpful for advice and support.  Sorry to hear about your Mom, by the way.  And congrats on stepping up to take care of things.

In Topic: 12 years Away, Now I'm Back Here

03 April 2017 - 04:05 PM

Thank you for sharing that, Manic D.  The parallels with how I've been experiencing DP are striking.  I also had many years where the DP really seemed to simmer on the back burner while I went out and "lived my life".  I also find that exercise is a huge help in dealing with a lot of the anxiety that accompanies my DP, and it prevents things from getting too out of control.  I'll still feel the emotional numbness or, as you describe, "...what being a ghost must feel like", but it really placates the more terrifying aspects of the disorder, and gets that serotonin humming.  I've also been going through some real tough times recently (problems in relationship, also a good friend who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, etc.), and it all just piles on and makes things worse, while the DP gains ever more power.  I'm going to get serious about therapy and give it a whirl...again.  I've abdicated my whole anti-medication schtick.  I'd be willing to try just about anything at this point if it actually helps rid myself of the DP.  I've found that meds are usually great for reducing anxiety, but most of the ones I've tried tend to dull my thinking and give me assorted other problems, and meanwhile the DP is still there in any case.


Anyway, I'm rambling...great post!

In Topic: Dr in Toronto

03 April 2017 - 03:29 PM

Thanks for the advice, Vincent.  I'll keep plugging away.

In Topic: suicidal thoughts

14 March 2017 - 03:16 PM



Change everything


Don't ever give up! :)


If it helps Vincent, I've had this disorder for 30 years so I do have you beat in that sense.  ;-)   I can totally relate to what you said about feeling like they were wasted years, but reflect for a minute on the vastness of space and eternity, and realize that our short lives here are but a speed bump on the long cosmic highway.  Don't think of the past 26 years as a "life wasted".  Think of it as a springboard...a crash course in dealing with all manners of hell that most people would never understand.  That's worth something.  And commit to changing.  Don't accept status quo anymore.  It only takes a day to do something amazing.  To feel something incredible.  To maybe not make it "all worth while", but at least to chip away at the years you feel you've lost.  Mind.Divided is right:  Change everything.  Even if it makes no sense.  Even if it strains your comfort zone.  Pick a mountain to climb and figure out how you're going to climb it...either literally or figuratively.  The hardest part about DP for me these days (and I say that because it's changed over the years - I can sort of deal with the disorienting, philosophical questions it raises, etc.) is the emotional deadness - the not connecting with loved ones.  I can completely understand how you might look at a mountain and say to yourself, "well, what's the point in having that experience - I wouldn't even appreciate it".  And you might not.  But you'll experience something different, that's for sure.  And you'll feel like you did something that day (or week - depending on your mountain climbing skills).  But if you're at the point where you're seriously thinking about suicide you should, at least, Change something.  Even if the thing you're changing is completely random.


And if you're so bewitched by this thing, then start small - learn to walk again.  And be proud of the accomplishments you make from this day forward.  You're comparing the 26 years you "wasted" to the template of what a "normal person" should have accomplished in those 26 years.  Everyone's different.  Everyone's life experience is different.  Take a deep breath and start from the beginning.  And come here when you need help along the way.