jack1992 - Viewing Profile: Posts - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content


Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


jack1992

Member Since 20 Aug 2020
Offline Last Active Oct 10 2020 04:22 PM
-----

Posts I've Made

In Topic: who´s got an alcoholic like me after getting in this silent hell of emotional numbness and dp ?

05 October 2020 - 11:44 AM

I am completely dead inside, but I am to scared to even drink alcohol. Alcohol helped me so much in the past, but it started to make me worse. And now I have been without alcohol for years. I don't get the same buzz either like before.

 

That's good to hear. I think if you can manage without it, you're better off. I'm making sure I wait at least 3 days between each drinking session to keep from becoming too dependent on it but I couldn't live totally without it, at least for now. Like I said, it's the only thing which really allows me to loosen up and enjoy life. I suffer really badly from social anxiety when I go out so the alcohol allows me to go out and not care what people think of me. It also makes the DP and any other problems feel less important.

 

However, I have found that if something triggers me when I am drunk, like I spill a drink (lol) or my bicycle goes wrong or something, this can send me down a spiral of self pitying and full on crying for an hour+ as the alcohol prevents me from controlling my emotions like I normally would. It brings out the grief I keep inside about family members who have died etc. But mostly, alcohol makes me feel happy and carefree, provided nothing triggers me during the drinking session.


In Topic: who´s got an alcoholic like me after getting in this silent hell of emotional numbness and dp ?

03 October 2020 - 03:35 PM

but i to do that every day and i dont feel euphoria...for me its mask my hell and espacially to fall in coma sleep

 

Sorry to hear that. Did you feel euphoria when you first started drinking? The problem may be that you have become tolerant of alcohol so it no longer gives you the positive feelings of euphoria. I can't claim to have found the solution to the problem myself but I can only suggest cutting down on the drink and going to your doctor as soon as possible as they may be able to find a medication which can regulate your emotions and make you feel less unhappy. Easier said than done, I know. For me personally, I am too afraid to start on different medication because I'm afraid of bad side effects (I've been on Sertraline for 13 years so could be pretty tough withdrawals alongside side effects of new meds). I know alcohol is bad also but it's just the easiest way for me to feel good right now.

 

But please call your doctor or even AA, just try and get some good advice from professionals who are aware of DP/DR and whatever underlying problems you may have which caused the DP/DR and drinking in the first place.

Good luck.


In Topic: who´s got an alcoholic like me after getting in this silent hell of emotional numbness and dp ?

03 October 2020 - 02:28 PM

after 1 year and 8 months and meds i have no power anymore to stand it...like drinking non-stop... i am alone with that ?

 

No, you're most definitely not alone my friend. I am in the same situation myself. I only feel alive when I drink alcohol. I drink every 2-3 days and the days I don't drink are incredibly tedious because I feel barely anything, barely any pleasure, no passion, no inspiration to do anything, just like a zombie really. I have had DP for a long time but the alcohol problem only started last Christmas. I had a horrible family get together where I felt unwanted etc so I got drunk when I got home. It gave me such a buzz of euphoria and the family problems and DP fell into insignificance. I lost all my social anxiety and went out to the city feeling no fear and actually enjoying myself for once. 

 

So ever since Xmas, I've been reexperiencing that buzz through drinking 2-3 times a week. I know it's bad for my liver etc but unless somebody can show me another way of escaping this mind numbing misery of 24/7 DP, I am unwilling to give it up for now. What's the point in living healthily if I can't actually enjoy life?


In Topic: 3 days of emotions

23 August 2020 - 09:22 AM

I started lamictal on July 14th. I suffer from severe emotional numbness, and when I was on 75mg of lamictal I had three separate days where I was listening to music all day and each song had a distinct vibe to it.

It was awesome I was so hopeful. The effect is gone now and I’m so discouraged. I’m on 150mg and still going up.

Has this happened to anyone? Did the effect return on a higher dose?

 

Yes, unfortunately the positive effects of certain meds can be pretty brief. When I first started on 50mg of Sertraline, I had about 2 weeks where I felt on top of the world and really happy (although still with DP/DR). This was July 2007. But after those 2 weeks, the feeling faded and I've never felt the same high since. But the sertraline definitely has helped with my OCD symptoms so not completely useless! I've since upped my dose to 150mg. Was on 50mg for about 5 years, then had a bad health anxiety episode so upped to 100mg, then after another 5 years up to 150mg after another low mood period. The sertraline never had any impact on my DP/DR whatsoever, sadly.

 

I was thinking of trying a different med but after reading all the horror stories of switching meds, I decided I would stick with Sertraline as it at least keeps my OCD at bay.


In Topic: Greetings from Brooklyn Zoo

21 August 2020 - 03:16 PM

Hi,

A long time sufferer here, just looking for some help as DP/DR is ruining my life basically. Just looking for medication suggestions as well as things like mindfulness or mild exercise (have severe chronic pain so can't do much).

Also just wanted to say that IBS symptoms largely govern my DP/DR. If they are bad, I simply cannot stop derealizing . Does anyone else find that? Also my GI pain triggers DP/DR.

Thanks and hi, Pete

PS apparently I've posted here a lot before. I don't even remember so, "hello again!" I guess!

Hi,

 

Yes, I too have DP/DR along with inflammatory bowel disease (ulcerative colitis). The more stressed I feel, the worse the colitis symptoms tend to be. However the DP/DR is just always there 100% with very little fluctuation in its severity.

 

There is no one size fits all medication as everyone responds differently to each medication. There is a very, very long list of various meds you could try. I have collected a long list of different meds mentioned on forums, youtube videos etc reported to have helped DP/DR sufferers. This is what I have found but PLEASE ask a qualified doctor for advice before trying any of these:

 

Medications and supplements:

Abilify/aripiprazole

Abilify/aripiprazole combined with Viibryd

Adderall or Adderall XR

Benzodiazepines

Citalopram

Clomipramine/anafranil

Clonazepam

Desipramine

Gingko biloba

Klonopin

L-Theanine

l tyrosine

Lactobacilus Reuteri

Lamotrigine

Lexapro

Liquid SAM-E

Marplan

Modafinil

Modalert

Modiadal

Naloxone

Naltrexone

Noopept

Olanzapine

Phenazepam

Phosphadyl serine

Provigil

Ritalin

Sertraline

Sulpiride

Trintellix

Wellbutrin

 

Therapies:

 

EMDR

The Linden Method

Somatic experiencing

Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) or Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS)

 

AND also a clean diet and exercise, which can be low intensity such as Yoga or Tai Chi if, like you mention, you have chronic pain.

 

Helpful videos:

https://www.youtube....h?v=GE_LrdUuljQ (and other videos from Adrenal Repair channel)

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=9WUYS6t4CCQ (and other videos from bignoknow channel)

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=l_e17q9WsUM - My 100% Depersonalization/ Derealization Recovery & How I did it

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=o-OaIocnFDg - My Personal Dpdr Recovery Story & How I Got Out (and other videos from Dan Plants channel)

 

Adrenal Repair youtube channel - https://www.youtube....YGoOuTEw/videos

bignoknow youtube channel - https://www.youtube....ignoknow/videos

Dan Plants youtube channel - https://www.youtube....anPlants/videos

Jordan Hardgrave youtube channel - https://www.youtube....etyNinja/videos