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Member Since 01 Jul 2020
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 05:43 PM

Topics I've Started

weird feelings and emotions from the environment

Yesterday, 04:31 PM

somebody can relate to this topic? it feels like im more connected to reality but it makes me anxious then.

my derealization is sometimes very severe (outside looks almost like a pic from a fairytale)

27 September 2020 - 10:30 PM

i came today home back from my girlfriend and as my brother comes to the train station to pick me up everything was being quite usual. he droves us to mcdonalds we have been getting something to eat and then we went home. when i got out of the car i felt it was very cold and that remembered me those emotions i had when it was cold in the past when i was doing good. and that „past feeling“ stayed until im going home. then suddenly i felt anxious. although i felt an hour before very hopeful and quite goody. i got massive anxiety attacksc negative thoughts loop, suicidal thoughts, severe earworms, very very hopeless thoughts and crazy muscle tension. i did it somehow to manage and i relaxed. i make the progressive muscle relaxation from jordan hardgrave and it helped really. i never would expect that.

my question to you brave guys is, am i getting anxious from my derealization and my future with this? or is it vice versa?

again afraid of becoming psychotic

24 September 2020 - 06:10 PM

hey guys, today it was actually a good day for me. since yesterday, i was being able to feel a few (slight) emotions, like being hyped (of a football game) or weekend. tomorrow i will make a trip to my girlfriend and im also looking forward for that. (im still very depersonalized and derealized)

but today suddenly i noticed a changed perception of colours. and my perception of noises were anyway very distorted. then i thought about my mood swing in the last days. and the last thing was sometimes i get slight thoughts like, im in the train and „they are talking about me“ or my mother stands up from my side and sits somewhere else and i think „she doesnt love me“. but i know those thoughts are not real but can those be the begin of a psychosis? i had readen a few explanations, where psychotic people at the outset also know those thoughts are absurd. and for me its actually like that too.

well im nomore being that afraid of becoming like that because its very good treatable but despite. maybe i have opportunities for early treating and prevent the outset..

i wanna make rtms

23 September 2020 - 02:12 PM

the onset is only 9 months ago for me and i want to make an early effective treatment. and rtms seems to be the best one at the moment. but where and how i can expect real results?

is a budget of 10.000 € enough?


18 September 2020 - 12:02 PM

hello guys, sorry for my bad english again,

apart from a diagnosis with professionals, how i can know if i have dpd or dpdr as symptom? (its 24/7 for me with various intensity in the last 9 months)

it had started for me in december 2019 with slight anxiety. i had gotten an anxious state and everything was slight weird. i was afraid of a psychosis because 1 month ago from that time i had have a state with feelings of senselessness. i had thought thats an early sign of a psychosis and i never thought about a depression. one day when i got those feelings of senselessness again i had gotten a panic attack. but i have had panic attacks since 2011 since my bad trip with synthetic weed and i did learned to keep them under control. however, i tried to distract me. and for a few days everything was ok. on 5th or 6th of january i got a severe depression. i had massive pressure on my ears and i was not able to sleep. and again i didnt thought about depression. i was being afraid of becoming psychotic. a few days later i think the 10th of january i did noticed i had began to depersonalize. i had a massive muscle tension and crazy panic attacks. i was in a constant panic mode for 2 months with racing thoughts and ocd thoughts also. until i had started with lexapro. lexapro did killed my anxiety. but my dpdr was still being severe. after taking lexapro for almost 4 months i did quit it because i didnt wanted to be on a med. in my severest times with panic attacks and anxiety i always declined to take a benzo. i did wanted to become recovered without meds. well i think, maybe that time had traumatized me. and i should better let help me with a benzo. but i dont know. so today im off medication and i sometimes feel slight anxiety. but my dpdr is still present. of course, my dpdr symptoms was worse at jan feb mar, but yeah. i think its normal, the less anxiety i have the less intense become my symptoms.

im wondering so much what are your opinions to this?

thank you very much for every reply.