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santi123

Member Since 04 Jan 2020
Offline Last Active Oct 11 2020 02:52 PM
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#616468 Positive thoughts

Posted by santi123 on 26 March 2020 - 09:59 PM

Hey guys,

As I have seen in my previous topics that I get quite a lot of views, and since everyone here is currently battling their own mental problems which is very depressive, I hope that the people reading this are trying to be in good spirits.

Just know that you are all very strong to go through something like this, it takes someone great bravery to fight such a horrible disorder. Many people do not know the struggle and fight you are going through because they cant feel it or sense it, so be strong my peeps. In any great struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.

As Mark Twain once quoted; " A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes"

I hope the unexpected is soon for all of us this 2020 and I promise you, you'll appreciate the greatness that life can give you, just hang on there. (:

(Put up any quotes underneath that you've read and liked before below.)

Stay positive in this hard times my peeps,
Santi 




#614242 How do you see the world once you've recovered?

Posted by santi123 on 05 February 2020 - 03:37 PM

I had diagnosed DP on and off for three years now, but I think I had it probably my whole life, it just went undiagnosed for a long time.

It changes in intensity depending on my general perception of the world, and sometimes it goes away for longer periods, like months.

When I feel well, and I am able to realistically accept even the difficult things and in particular traumatic memories in my life, the DP goes away, and the world looks very different. (My DP is trauma induced, as part of dissociative response on repetitive traumatization in childhood. I never used drugs)

 

However, when I have a really strong DP, I feel body-less, or floating, or like an automaton, or a doll. Still, no one can actually see that, they cannot even tell that something is going on within me. It narrows down my perception of the world, in a way that it becomes more like 2D, and everything feels as if there is no perspective, both figuratively and literally. Once I had a particularly strong onset of DP while speaking onstage with more than 50 people in the audience. I could hear myself speaking, and I admired how well I was prepared, but I had no clue as to what I am talking about. All I could perceive was one bright light blinking at the very rear end of the auditorium. Besides DP, my main problem is GAD, but I have no problem with public speaking, go figure! I dread the usual situations, though, like grocery shopping...

 

When I get out of DP mode, it is as if my life suddenly has such a depth, and scent and taste, everything becomes crystal clear and bright, and is full of opportunities, that I prevented myself from seeing while I was DP. I suddenly can have so much energy, ideas, I feel a lot of love for my family and friends, and in general I feel really passionate about life. Once I said to a friend that I love her so much, just that I somehow do not manage to love her all the time, and that generally is how I feel with DP on and off. When I am DP, everything is on pause, until I can continue running, feeling and loving again.

Thank you for sharing a bit about your story with us. 
In general, I guess you become more hopeful about life rather than drown on it, I really liked your description. 

I hope you're having a beautiful day,
Santi 




#614048 Is anyone seeing alot of floaters?

Posted by santi123 on 04 February 2020 - 03:46 AM

Sometimes I feel like I am drunk and everything is zooming in amd out too.

Then I remember I just had 15 beers

Drink your 16th beer for me, haha (; 
 




#613956 Is anyone seeing alot of floaters?

Posted by santi123 on 03 February 2020 - 12:02 AM

I'm seeing things better lately, but there is an excess of floaters that concerns me.
I have heard that Floaters are a symptom of anxiety but I'm not sure. 

Does anyone get a lot of floaters?

Thanks,
Santi 




#613068 Have had DP my whole life. I´m turning 26 in May. I´m scared this is what lif...

Posted by santi123 on 21 January 2020 - 02:45 PM

Hello,

Im sorry about your past history. The only advice I could give you is not to smoke weed. Cannabis amplifies emotions, makes you feel euphoric or depressed x10 and considering that you suffer from past trauma, the withdrawals from cannabis is just a huge amount of stress and anxiety. 

My DP/DR was triggered due to cannabis intake in 2018. 

I hope you get to feel better. 

Best,
Santi.




#612702 What trigger your DP/DR? & What was the feelings of it?

Posted by santi123 on 15 January 2020 - 07:00 PM

Hello everyone,

I am a victim of DP/DR for about 1 year and 1 month. It all started in the dormitories of Prague, I had just arrived to a new country prepared to start a new journey and have a fresh start, my past was pretty much working everyday just to go abroad and live life again. The excitement of it all was too overwhelming, this was also considering that I was starting university as well and living abroad in a European country, it was too surreal for me, I had planned hiking trips, meeting new faces & travels to other countries, it was all on my list.
In entering my dormitory, my dorm buddy was an intense pothead, and I raised in the middle east, didn't have much of a contact with cannabis. As going with the flow with this adventure, before going to sleep we used to smoke a joint, waking up the next day feeling a bit high from the day before, in my mind I thought it was an ongoing feeling of being high, so I didn't pay much attention to it. The smoking went on from September until November 2018, and in the beginning of November 2018, when I moved out of the dormitory to a shared flat, the biggest hit of my life occurred. The world was drifting away from me, it was vanishing before my eyes, life at that point felt meaningless. At that time, my heart and soul was shattered into pieces, this was all at a time that I was abroad, all alone, stuck in a world created by my own mind.
In January 2019, the persistent feeling of dissociation was so intense that all my basic senses were just faded away, these are the basic sense of feelings that attaches someone to this world; feeling, taste, smell, and seeing. I knew that this is just my mind paying with me and the sensations are not real, that it was all occurred by dissociation, although, the sensation is beyond terrifying, I guess that not even the word for it. Something that saddens me the most about that time is the feeling of time being distorted, its as if, I couldn't feel the seconds, minutes or hours. Time was just slipping away from my hands, moments in which could not be felt or enjoyed by. 
Auditory distortion too, buzzing noises from the moment I woke up, until the moment I went to sleep. Visual distortion was something that made me withdraw from being social, considering that I have been working in the tourism field for a long ass time and interacted with alot of people. I did not want to be close to anybody, at that time my visuals were really distorted. Just to have an idea about my visuals, it was an effect using in movies called dolly zoom effect. If you had it, you know it feels like hell talking to someone. 
It's January 2020, and I want to let you guys know that, its okay. It will eventually fade away, just give it time. Just remember, god give his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. It is extremely hard, I know, it's like fighting a fight that has no ending and leaves you hopeless, but hang on there. 
The beautiful take from all of this is, you'll never take things for granted, many have not suffered so they do not know how it feels, and once you're out, you'll see the world with better eyes than anyone else.

Wish you guys a good year ahead. Stay strong my peeps.