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imsofucked

Member Since 05 Nov 2019
Offline Last Active Oct 26 2020 10:13 PM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Scared of getting lost?

16 September 2020 - 12:46 PM

Hello lost235. Yes, it's horrible to be out and not feel where you are or how to get home. That my body is in different locations without me being emotionally aware of it, is very difficult and unpleasant. Worrying about being lost is entirely understandable and natural, since DPD flattens so much, but I find it better not to question where I am and instead to trust. Questioning makes it worse for me and trusting is ok because I always know as information where I am, even as DPD stops me experiencing it. Also, what is natural is still there behind the DPD 'numbing divide' and it looks after me even though I feel absent from space-time. I always get home. I hope this helps. In short, DPD leads to understandable doubt, but doubt makes it worse. It is difficult to find the 'poise' with that but trusting reality works for me practically and keeps me calmer, even as realness is obscured.

this was an incredible response. It seems as though all we really have is trust and the trust is really the only thread holding us together as the realness of the symptoms is so incredibly convincing that what were experiencing is true. Going to try to remember this response the next time i find myself spiraling or just as a constant reminder throughout the day really.


In Topic: Still cured...and bringing you a book recommendation!

03 September 2020 - 11:49 AM

You sound deeply depressed, I'm really sorry - I cannot change those limiting belief systems of yours, but you can eradicate them from your subconscious mind with enough careful self-work and thought-control. 

 

Every time you catch yourself saying "this time is different... this time I won't be able to cure myself", counter that thought... don't let the sneaky thing just flood your mind and let you feel bad! Develop a commitment to smashing these falsehoods into pieces. Bring your attention to the fact that SO, SO many people have had the worst level of DPDR possible, and yes, triggered in weird, tricky, emotional ways, and completely, entirely healed from the condition.

 

I'll say it again and for the last time = it doesn't matter what particular symptoms you have or even the root cause of these symptoms. Whether dissociation is a panic response you experience daily at work or you're trapped in a chronic state induced by psychedelics, or even something horrific like rape, there are precise psychological techniques will liberate you.

 

We say that the brain is like a computer, and it certainly is - despite being complex, it is oh-so-easy to redirect and rewire. But, the caveat is that it's impossible to stop the experience of dissociation until you truly see this truth, and stop trying to claim that your case is "so different from the rest".

 

You have the right to feel that it is, and it's not your fault - it's a symptom of this bloody condition! Just as everyone feels that their first love is deeper/more intense than anyone else's, and that their kid is more special than anyone else's... all DPDR sufferers experience the same intrusic, rising panic that stems from feeling that they are "the exception".

 

You're not smile.png

do you have any insight on what i had mentioned in previous post ? ill just copy and paste it down below so you dont have to go back and look.

 

The biggest thing i struggle with is logically i know these have to just be thoughts making me think/feel like this; but its like its so ingrained into my thoughts and feels so true that i cant grasp how this isnt my actual reality; like this is kinda how its always been its just been doormant and now im finally "awakening" to new reality. Ive just completely forgotten what normal feels like so i dont even know what im working towards if that makes sense ? I dont know if im feeling better because i dont know what im supposed to be feeling like.


In Topic: Still cured...and bringing you a book recommendation!

02 September 2020 - 11:25 AM

at my first time i was fully able to experience emotions. maybe i felt like they arent like mine or they are damped but i had have real strong emotions. and my distracting with them was the key to forget this hell. i think youre right, that has something to do with neuroplasticy. but this time i have 2 major differences. 1. my emotions are 90% blunted. im not even able to feel my anxiety rightly. 2. sounds are very unfamiliar to me. this makes me think im stuck this time

if you look at a majority of the people who come back to this forum and say they relapsed or have had this a second time; they all usually say it is completely different this time and they are having symptoms they have never had before. Just because its not the same as the first time youve had it doesnt mean you are now incurable. It manifests in different ways. Part of the condition is worrying that your case is different or worse than everyone else's. I can guarantee you atleast one person on this website has experienced everything you are currently. Not saying this will make it easier for you but what i am saying is that you are 100% curable and thinking you arent will keep you in this state for far longer than you want to be in.


In Topic: Still cured...and bringing you a book recommendation!

02 September 2020 - 09:52 AM

Hey guys,

 

I'm just chipping here now to tell you that chronic dissociation (regardless of how you like to define your individual situation - "drug-induced derealisation", "chronic DPDR", "intermittent depersonalisation"..) is cured in the same way. I completely respect that this is impossible to see while trapped in the horrible, frankly terrifying symptoms that come along with things/yourself feeling 'unreal', but this is an absolute truth that you should try your best to believe.

 

Why? Believing this will push you 30% towards recovery. The longer you spend watching youtube videos that try and further guide you towards diagnosing yourself differently/analysing "whether you have chronic/intermittent dissociation", the more you are falling into identifying as a patient, ruminating more, etc. This will sustain your symptoms, whether they are permanent or arise sporadically.

 

I can tell you that I suffered from severe chronic (really 24/7) depersonalisation and derealisation triggered by drugs and sustained by 'reality-checking' and OCD tendencies. And, I managed to direct my flow away from reality/my condition, and have been 100% cured for years.

 

Don't let anyone tell you that chronic DPDR is a different beast in terms of recovery, for it isn't. In terms of experience, sure - there are undeniably huge differences between the experience of someone who experiences occasional dissociation when stressed and someone who permanently feels 'drugged' and dissociated.

 

But, let's be careful and not mix up what's interesting/valid to analyse (i.e. what could be studied and talked about) and what's relevant to recovery.

 

There are hundreds of things that we can scrutinise and categorise etc. when it comes to dissociative symptoms, but trust me, they are better accepted as the umbrella concept that they are and treated as so. This attitude will be seem super counterintuitive and 'overly-simplistic', but it is exactly what allowed me to slip out of (and remain free from!) the most horrendous, chronic DPDR that I believed to be "permanent and nothing to do with anxiety".

 

That's all - I hope this answer resonates with whoever reads it, and that it doesn't come across harsh. I'm just so, so passionate about imparting every last shred of information that I know to be true regarding this sneaky, illusory disorder (that, as a side effect, makes you want to research it excessively and make things more complex than they are!). If I see anyone talking in a way that I know to be limiting/make recovery less likely, I'll swoop in and share my two cents now that I'm totally cured. icon_wink.gif icon_razz.gif

appreciate your insight. The biggest thing i struggle with is logically i know these have to just be thoughts making me think/feel like this; but its like its so ingrained into my thoughts and feels so true that i cant grasp how this isnt my actual reality; like this is kinda how its always been its just been doormant and now im finally "awakening" to new reality. Ive just completely forgotten what normal feels like so i dont even know what im working towards if that makes sense ? I dont know if im feeling better because i dont know what im supposed to be feeling like.


In Topic: Still cured...and bringing you a book recommendation!

02 September 2020 - 09:41 AM

and i had written you a pm but you didnt replied. i recovered also once from marijuana induced dpdr and had relapsed from major depressive episode and strong anxiety. i have it also constant 24/7. and i also think its dpd for me because i no longer have anxiety or depression. but still depersonalized.

ah okay, and sorry i had missed your PM; i usually only try to visit this site in a desperation attempt to get some reassurance/relief (dont we all). But let me tell you what ive told myself to try to get myself through this second journey to hell; Recovering once before is proof in itself that you are not permanently serving a sentence to this insufferable hell. Even though you may have gotten it a different way this time, your body and mind have shown you that it is capable of beating this. I suggest you research the term neuroplasticity. I word that should give all of us DPDR sufferers hope :)