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anotherme

Member Since 07 Oct 2019
Offline Last Active Dec 03 2019 10:57 AM
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Topics I've Started

no sense of self

02 December 2019 - 03:08 PM

For weeks I've been having intense panic attacks and bodily sensations. I feel like I am insane. I feel like my words and actions and beliefs are not my own. I feel like my whole personality is just me mirroring other people but that I have no self left. I feel like I am insane. I feel the need to reach out and talk to people but when I do I am so afraid because it's like my words are not my own. I try to be a good person but it's like there is something deeply wrong with me. A doctor told me that it is because I dissociate that I feel this way. He said that when we dissociate for a long time we revert to the mirroring stage of development like a small child. Is this why I feel like I am other people but not myself? I don't fully believe the doctors anyway. These days have been very stressful. I am afraid a lot of the time. Is this sense of no self just a DPDR symptom? it is horrifying


not feeling right

02 December 2019 - 02:58 PM

I am starting to worry about my mental health. I have been quite isolated lately. I have been having thoughts and dreams that I know are not true. I some times wonder if I am possessed. I have been having nightmare about ghosts and being possessed. They are very upsetting. I have been wondering if I am going insane. I feel like there is something wrong with me. One of the DPDR symptoms that is the most scary is how when I speak I feel like it is not me speaking. It makes me feel afraid to speak to people. When I speak I feel that it is someone else. This scares me. Although people around me are not reacting to me like I am insane I sometimes wonder if I am. I feel a lot of fear in my heart. I feel like staying away from everyone around me because I am afraid I will hurt them. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Are these all DPDR symptoms or have I actually lost my mind?


years later I'm still looking for answers

07 October 2019 - 01:56 PM

Hi, 

I started experiencing depersonalization symptoms when I was 17. It was triggered by an LSD trip. I started having a distorted sense of time, I thought I was dead and just didn't feel like myself. I was hospitalized and misdiagnosed with other dissociative disorders. From when I was about 18 - 30 I suppressed the feelings DP. I always knew something was wrong but I chose to ignore it. I went to school and am now in school again. Lately I have become more aware of the DP symptoms. When I speak and move it doesn't feel like me. I am also having what I can only describe as panic attacks. I feel numb. My head is always rushing. All these feelings are overwhelming and have lead to depression. I dream that I can just wake up one morning ad have these feelings go away but I know it is not that simple. Lately I am working on accepting the feelings and this is helping. It helps too, to have come to understand that I am not the only one who experiences this. I feel like my soul is outside my body and that I just want in to be back in place so I can feel normal.

 

I hope this website can help guide me through the process of recovery and remind me i am not alone.

 

Thanks for your your support