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yuri

Member Since 03 Sep 2019
Offline Last Active May 20 2020 04:07 PM
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Topics I've Started

Some tips.

06 May 2020 - 07:11 AM

Im not thru with this but I have come a long way and I feel safe in my progress.

 

SO my way out has been by accepting, getting to know my thoughts and feelings and try to remember how I functioned before. Its the last thing I will give some tips on and hopefully it can trigger something in you the reader to start to heal.

 

I have studied a lot of old photos before the sickness and tried to remember how I functioned. I have wrote about it as well. Describing for myself how I was before.

 

There are some subtle differences I have learned about the difference with and without DpDr:

-Without DpDr your presence fills the room your in. It is hard to explain but without DpDr your feelings doesn't end at the skin level. In a sense you feel the walls and everything in the room without touching them.

-With DpDr you only take in things logically. Like I have a food pantry. Logically this is where I store food. But we doesn't process stuff only logically. We remember what our senses tells us and things that happened around the specific thing/place. Like now when Im opening my pantry I know how it smells but with full DpDr this things didn't register. The smell creates a feeling of familiarity you cant get with DpDr. That is why everything seems strange, gray and you have the feeling that something is missing. Take Mondays. Logicaly it is just a day but with feelings you remember a whole life of thing related to Mondays and that builds the full picture. End of the week and now you need to go to school, work. Maybe you always slept less on Mondays? Maybe a lot of Mondays you where hangover from the weekend? DpDr is like a switch in the brain and if you can start to remember how it was with the DpDr switch of you can start to move the switch a little. Not turn of DpDr but you can start to imagining how it would be if you didnt have it. A tiny step by tiny step you can start to find your way back,

 

Try to remember how it was before and maybe that will trigger something in you. I started to get better after I stoped running from the feeling of DpDr. It creates a negative loop to distance yourself from DpDr. But it takes time. Three years and counting of acceptances and learning about self.  Nothing I write is something that ease the pain right now but it is a long journey. Maybe the path I walk is for you, maybe not. Hope you get well from this one way or another friends.


So my feelings are back and it is at times fucking scarry. Help plz

18 December 2019 - 05:12 PM

Of course Im happy that they are back. But it is scary as well sometimes. Cant write about why really but you get some form of identity crisis. Anybody who been to this who can write about it. Would really help me.


Talking of symptoms, letting it out.

21 September 2019 - 07:15 AM

It is so strange because I couldn't understand what was happening to me and I had to get better to start to understand. And I had to understand to start to get better. In a way this has created a positive spiral upwards that gets stronger and stronger. The following are some of my experiences of DP.

 

I couldn't take stuff in. It is very hard to explain. I noticed it one night in bed. I tried to take in the lamp in the sealing. I could see it but I couldn't take it in. It is so hard to explain this. I don't know the words to describe it. This was my first realization about what was going on. I had been like this for years but had so much chaos in my life so I did not notice it.

 

I can understand things logically but emotionally it takes months, years ore hasn't happened yet.

 

This one I dont experience anymore. I felt for a long time that I was a coma victim. Anytime now I would wake up in a hospital bed after years in coma. The life I was living wasn't my life.

 

When I see a photograph of myself from 5 years ago I can relate and see myself in that picture. A newer picture and I don't know that person. The person in the photo doesn't exist. He is dead. It is hard to see this pictures.

 

Doesn't experience this one anymore. For those of you who are older maybe you remember the TV-show Dallas? For a couple of years they killed of a character in the show called Bobby Ewing. One episode he was back. His wife found him in the shower and the viewer would learn that the last couple of years in the show had just  been a dream, I had some moments of clarity and they usually happened in the shower. When they happened I felt like Bobby Ewing from Dallas. The last couple of years had only been a dream.

 

This is some of the things I have understand recently that I felt I needed to get out. It is like a giant jigsaw puzzle but I trust my brain will dish out things in portion when I'm ready for them. In a way it shelter me from a very bad experience and I trust it is capable to heal me if I give it time and patience.


Acceptance and commitment therapy

18 September 2019 - 09:35 AM

So I got inspired to write a little about what I believe is my way to live a better life. Not free from anxiety but accepting it and living a fulfilled life anyway. I haven't slept much so this will just be a start and I will probably write some more at a later date. The other part of it, the commitment part, I haven't really worked with yet. So I started with this book some time ago:

https://www.amazon.c...e/dp/1572244259

 

I got a bit in and then it was an exercise where you should say your negative thougts and feelings out loud when you felt them. I said them loud in my head instead. Did not want to shop for groceries and accidentally say my anxieties out loud. :D The exercise was meant to stretch two weeks. I did it two years instead. Without going in to much about why, but I needed to do that. I see myself as a world champion at pushing negative thoughts away. So now I can sit in a chair with a cop of tee and be more in the now. Accepting the negativity more.

 

So I have opened the book again. I have started to learn what I think. Like Im quite isolated right now. I have my cat whos ten and I'm terrified of loosing her. I registered that every time I saw her I just thought about her dying. So I learned about my thougtpatterns there and then I made the effort to let that feeling be there. I ask myself: can I have this feeling and still be in the present? Sometime I can, sometimes I cant and sometimes It opens up a lot of the things I have pushed away. My work is starting to change me. Now sometimes I can feel happiness that I have my cat alive with me this day. Grateful. I think this positive emotions cant manifest when you push all the bad ones away.

 

Acceptance is one of the hardest things to learn. It will take time. But for me it seems the way to go.


Does really distracting you from the feelings/thougts from DP cure it?

15 September 2019 - 12:07 AM

I am just curios. I have chosen the way of learning to accept them and my anxiety. I have always pushed unwanted thoughts and feelings away and for me it is a dead end to distract. But we are all different. It seems paradoxically that distracting and trying to avoid the feelings will cure DP because DP seems to start with a trauma that the brain tries to distance it self from. So I`m just curios if people find it helpful in the long run to distract?