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yuri

Member Since 03 Sep 2019
Offline Last Active May 20 2020 04:07 PM
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#617652 Some tips.

Posted by yuri on 06 May 2020 - 04:11 PM

Also another thing that I found hard to see and accept was that DpDr gives safety in a way. A false sense of security. You close yourself in a small box, if the world is scary the little box is safe right? And while your in that box you dont have to face the hard facts. For me it is that my mother and cat are getting old and maybe I loose these two important beings in the not so distant future, Im getting old and I have no job, education, family, girlfriend or social life, Im behind and far away from my goals, hope and dreams, the world is feels more chaotic each year ETC. You hide in your DpDr box and all the realistic things you worry about they will sooner or later happen to you but you wont feel anything in your box. Not any negative emotion, no positive emotions ether. You're numb to the world. Your safe from emotional hurt but your life is in shambles. Its not worth it. Better to live with the fear, a. Accept it and it cant hurt you. Its hard to acknowledge that the thing you hate gives you the illusion of safety. Its hard to leave safety even if you're trapped in a small box that you hate. Its like the baby bird who jumps from the nest to fly. Im gonna jump this box soon, I can feel it. Then Im going to fucking fly. Hope you to will do that some day.




#617630 Some tips.

Posted by yuri on 06 May 2020 - 07:11 AM

Im not thru with this but I have come a long way and I feel safe in my progress.

 

SO my way out has been by accepting, getting to know my thoughts and feelings and try to remember how I functioned before. Its the last thing I will give some tips on and hopefully it can trigger something in you the reader to start to heal.

 

I have studied a lot of old photos before the sickness and tried to remember how I functioned. I have wrote about it as well. Describing for myself how I was before.

 

There are some subtle differences I have learned about the difference with and without DpDr:

-Without DpDr your presence fills the room your in. It is hard to explain but without DpDr your feelings doesn't end at the skin level. In a sense you feel the walls and everything in the room without touching them.

-With DpDr you only take in things logically. Like I have a food pantry. Logically this is where I store food. But we doesn't process stuff only logically. We remember what our senses tells us and things that happened around the specific thing/place. Like now when Im opening my pantry I know how it smells but with full DpDr this things didn't register. The smell creates a feeling of familiarity you cant get with DpDr. That is why everything seems strange, gray and you have the feeling that something is missing. Take Mondays. Logicaly it is just a day but with feelings you remember a whole life of thing related to Mondays and that builds the full picture. End of the week and now you need to go to school, work. Maybe you always slept less on Mondays? Maybe a lot of Mondays you where hangover from the weekend? DpDr is like a switch in the brain and if you can start to remember how it was with the DpDr switch of you can start to move the switch a little. Not turn of DpDr but you can start to imagining how it would be if you didnt have it. A tiny step by tiny step you can start to find your way back,

 

Try to remember how it was before and maybe that will trigger something in you. I started to get better after I stoped running from the feeling of DpDr. It creates a negative loop to distance yourself from DpDr. But it takes time. Three years and counting of acceptances and learning about self.  Nothing I write is something that ease the pain right now but it is a long journey. Maybe the path I walk is for you, maybe not. Hope you get well from this one way or another friends.




#606704 Does really distracting you from the feelings/thougts from DP cure it?

Posted by yuri on 21 September 2019 - 09:46 AM

Eddy and Perfect Fifth,

 

Dont cry. DP isnt that bad. Just gotta toughen up a little, man. wink.png

 

Its so true. 

 

It can be so much worse.

 

Just stop it. Your acting is pathetic. You claim to beaten DP but you haven't matured the slightest from it. You just acts like a troll trying to rile people up. If this is your idea of helping people you should really reconsider.




#606692 Talking of symptoms, letting it out.

Posted by yuri on 21 September 2019 - 07:48 AM

Im not ready to talk about the pain and suffering in more detail. If I try I can see that I do it just to get sympathy, that people should know how hard it has been. That is not the right motivation to talk about it. Firstly I cant thru words describe my suffering and secondly it isn't important what people think about my sickness. It is like I want to justify my existence here by telling people I have suffered enormously. Sympathy is nice but an action motivated only to get it is not the way I want to go. So I will write about the pain when I am past the urges to persuade other people that I am a person who lived thru hell. If I feel I need it then.




#606688 Talking of symptoms, letting it out.

Posted by yuri on 21 September 2019 - 07:15 AM

It is so strange because I couldn't understand what was happening to me and I had to get better to start to understand. And I had to understand to start to get better. In a way this has created a positive spiral upwards that gets stronger and stronger. The following are some of my experiences of DP.

 

I couldn't take stuff in. It is very hard to explain. I noticed it one night in bed. I tried to take in the lamp in the sealing. I could see it but I couldn't take it in. It is so hard to explain this. I don't know the words to describe it. This was my first realization about what was going on. I had been like this for years but had so much chaos in my life so I did not notice it.

 

I can understand things logically but emotionally it takes months, years ore hasn't happened yet.

 

This one I dont experience anymore. I felt for a long time that I was a coma victim. Anytime now I would wake up in a hospital bed after years in coma. The life I was living wasn't my life.

 

When I see a photograph of myself from 5 years ago I can relate and see myself in that picture. A newer picture and I don't know that person. The person in the photo doesn't exist. He is dead. It is hard to see this pictures.

 

Doesn't experience this one anymore. For those of you who are older maybe you remember the TV-show Dallas? For a couple of years they killed of a character in the show called Bobby Ewing. One episode he was back. His wife found him in the shower and the viewer would learn that the last couple of years in the show had just  been a dream, I had some moments of clarity and they usually happened in the shower. When they happened I felt like Bobby Ewing from Dallas. The last couple of years had only been a dream.

 

This is some of the things I have understand recently that I felt I needed to get out. It is like a giant jigsaw puzzle but I trust my brain will dish out things in portion when I'm ready for them. In a way it shelter me from a very bad experience and I trust it is capable to heal me if I give it time and patience.




#606586 Does really distracting you from the feelings/thougts from DP cure it?

Posted by yuri on 19 September 2019 - 03:20 PM

The real disservice is exercising ideas that DP/DR is not understandable and not treatable because it is. 

 

It is very much understandable and treatable. 

 

Im not trolling, silly.

 

You want to hold on to your belief that DP/DR is very chronic and not treatable and severe and all of these things to justify your own suffering. You are identified with it. It is your excuse for being afraid or for being weak or for having a hard time. 

 

IM simply inviting you to toughen up and to make your self healthy and to drop the idea that you can drop DP/DR all together and this makes you mad and desperately want  to defend your opinioin.

 

I think you should let it go man, and move on with your life. Why not? What would be stoping you?

 

Please remember that I am well experienced with DP/DR. I know all about it. I know it inside and out. Ive experienced the worst of it for 3+ solid years with years of

residue from it. 

 

Sorry man, move on with your life. 

 

You are talking about the moment when things start to fall in place. You start to understand and you can take slow steps toward something new. Then it becomes easier. But to get there. To get the insights and the aha moments. To get there can be really tuff and take really long time. Like you said you suffered for three years from DP. The way to move on with your life didn't come to you then and there right? It needed time to develop. Maybe you read some text or watch some clip that made things fall in place? It is the struggle to come to insights that is the hard one. And before that you cant just take someone else words as guidance. Change only comes from inside. You can get inspired from the outside, you can get help from the outside. But true change starts from the inside.




#606484 Does really distracting you from the feelings/thougts from DP cure it?

Posted by yuri on 18 September 2019 - 07:30 AM

Thank you for enlightening answers. It is god too see that different things works for different people. I will stick with my way for now, acceptance. For me it is very powerful and I can see the changes it makes. Small changes is better then none and I think in the real world small steps is almost always the only way. When you start to accept your negative thoughts and emotions sometimes they become the same as sensing for example that something is hot or cold or maybe here something on the radio. You acknowledge the information and then you move on. Let the mind do its thing, you cant stop it (I cant anyway) so better just accept it.

It is not helping anyone if we sit in here and reenact the Four Yorkshiremen scethc by Monty Python. Human suffering is absolute. Everybody suffers. Yes everybody. It can be hard to remember that when you have full on anxiety attack but we shouldn't say that people who got well did it because they didn't suffered hard enough. That they didn't have it as extremely hard that I (not meaning me here) have had it. You cant possible know that and that can also scare away the people who got better. We need those people here for inspiration. This is not a competition. It can be soothing to think that your suffering is the worst ever but in the long run it doesn't lead anywhere. You can try to be the winner but you will end up the loser because you just move further away from finding a solution. I have had mental problems for 20 years and suffered enough for a couple of lifetimes. But I got a gift as well. I am stubborn i spades. I have tried most of the different therapies by book at home, also had my own ideas to recover that I tried. Finlay I have find what I think is my way to a better life, acceptance. Hang in there and hopefully you also will find your way. I don't know if it will cure me but I'm going to try. What else is there to do really?




#606368 Does really distracting you from the feelings/thougts from DP cure it?

Posted by yuri on 15 September 2019 - 12:07 AM

I am just curios. I have chosen the way of learning to accept them and my anxiety. I have always pushed unwanted thoughts and feelings away and for me it is a dead end to distract. But we are all different. It seems paradoxically that distracting and trying to avoid the feelings will cure DP because DP seems to start with a trauma that the brain tries to distance it self from. So I`m just curios if people find it helpful in the long run to distract?




#605804 Cold showers (Wim Hof)

Posted by yuri on 04 September 2019 - 07:24 AM

This is something that helped me to land somewhat in the moment. Helps me get some focus so I can venture out despite agoraphobia and social phobia. If you are up for trying it give it at least a couple of weeks. It sucks in the beginning but you can also start to feel the benefits. I will link 2 videos about it.

 

First is about the shovers

https://explore.wimh...brLXAeZRagCL7gQ

 

Second is about the state of mind you should have when you shower.

https://explore.wimh...z_e2RlfSYFeaLas

 

I you have heart problems ore had a stroke you should probably ask a doctor before you try it. There is also a breathing exercise by Wim I do as well. I think it is better to start with the showers. Happens a lot in the breathing exercise, it can be to much sometime.

 

 

You should never do the breathing in water because there is a risk that you pas out.




#605768 My story

Posted by yuri on 03 September 2019 - 08:27 PM

Firstly. I am not diagnosed. I am diagnosed with Asperger, GAD, Social phobia, Insomnia, ADD. I don't know if I need so many diagnosis but it is what it is.

 

I will start with a short version on how I got here. Was born to two parents who hated each other but still lived in the same house. It was shouting and screaming and threats of them killing each other. Like my mum would shout that she would stab my father with a scissor when he slept. It wasn't any psychical things that happened just shouting, threats and hate. My parents wasn't good at shoving affection and I cant remember questions about my day ore interest in my life. I was scared of my fathers temper and he was kind of an control freak. My sister says I was never good enough for him because I was more of a brainy child then in to sports. She says that he hit me as well. DonĀ“t remember my self and my sister I cant really trust. Her coping mechanism is to exaggerate to get attention.

 

My first five school years I was bullied. It started with me crying for losing my cat and got worse over time. My parents wouldnt help me and no teacher ether. I didn't have an adult ore friend to turn to... *cant seem to write anymore. To many words I guess?