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Member Since 06 Feb 2019
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 05:33 PM

Topics I've Started

Reality Testing

26 February 2021 - 11:00 AM

Am I the only one that is scared or feels like their reality testing might be gone soon? Like I'm so afraid that tomorrow I'll wake up and I can't distinguish between reality and fantasy anymore...

Please read - I need your help. I can't take this anymore.

24 February 2021 - 07:05 AM


Ok so... I've been struggling with anxiety and Dp/Dr my whole life, but it was never like that...
4 weeks ago, I passed out due low blood pressure. I then was really scared that I might have a serious heart problem. I was so anxious all the time - Turned out I haven't. After I knew that, I felt so exhausted the days afterwards and depressed. I thought: Will I ever get healthy again... Well. I was doing good compared to that..
So I had a Dp/Dr episode about 2 years ago, from which I fully recovered...back then my biggest fear was developing a psychosis (prodromal phase...)
So I then thought...ok what if I do now...
So the thing is...I do know from lot's of research what these symptoms are and I then think - maybe I have them too. And I can't let go of this thought, bc I then think that I'll really turn crazy.
I went to a psychiatrist last week- he told me he's pretty sure I'm not, but...well
So last night, I had a real bad panic attack... I then suddenly started to hear (from one ear) this sound of a melody/radio. I freaked out. Was it a halluzination? Anxiety? Or just the sound of the heater I interpreted as a melody?? I was so scared! I then thought: ok what if there's a radio? Delusional stuff like: idk maybe there's a radio in the wall - I ofc thought: ok that's sh.t. I mean rationally not possible. But I was scared bc: 1. Why did I hear that sound? 2. Why did I even think sth like that? 3. What if I start to believe or already believe things like that??
At that moment I was 100% sure I'm on the edge of a psychosis. Sleept really bad that night and now I'm even more confused.
I feel like my way of thinking has changed - I feel like my thoughts and the way I think are like I'm in a dream - a nightmare. Nothing positive... No future thinking. Like I'm not myselve.
Can someone please idk...like what's your opinion on that?
I started to take zoloft today...hope that helps a bit.
But the way it started with passing out and only physical symptoms to this deep whole of anxiety and feeling psychotic...jesus.


22 February 2021 - 02:41 PM

Does anyone else feels like they're in a nightmare? When I dream and think in a dream, it feels exactly like that...
I'm really scared... Like I'm in an endless loop amd nothings gonna ever change - also when I think about somezhing in the future - I don't really feel or see anything...I used to be so excited about things in the future. But right now I'm just confused and stuck in that nightmare.
Can anyone relate?

Feeling confused - Reality, dreams...future

20 February 2021 - 06:10 AM

Lately I' ve been feeling really confused. Like what's reality, dreams (not that I can't distinguish between it) but it all feels just the same. And when I think about my future, I feel/see nothing. Like...idk. It's scary. I'm scared that this confusion may lead to a psychosis...I also feel like there's a big black cloud over me that keeps me from happiness and my old life (not literaly though)
It's scary. It's like dreams, reality and what I think is just all the same and it's never gonna change...
Does anyone experience sth similar?

There's something wrong with me...

18 February 2021 - 01:29 PM

It's been 2 yrs since my last post. Good news - Recovery is possible!
However I'm back with everything and I'm not doing good...
So here's my story:
About 3 weeks ago I suddenly fainted and had terrible circulation problems (vertigo, nausea...) bc of low blood pressure. I then had chest pain - went to the cardiologist: my heart is fine.
Since then the pain is gone...but my real problems started. After the appointment (I was really anxious all week bc I feared it might be sth serious) I felt really tired and exhausted. I finally could sleep again... then DR/DP hit me the next day. I had it before...really strong..but not compared to this one. Then out of the blue I felt sad and idk... depressed. It's hard to describe - this feeling in my brain... But what's back at its worst? My fear of schizophrenia/psychosis. I am terrible afraid that I'm in the prodromal phase... (right before you get it) Idk. I'm restless and things feel off. It's not like the last time I experienced anxiety. My brain and way of thinking feels different. I'm very tired all the time and everything seems so hopeless...ugh it's all so hard to describe... I was at the psychiatrist today - he told me he's pretty sure I'm not in that phase or I'll get it any time soon... Prescribed me some zoloft which I haven't taken yet..Calms me, but...idk. I have this terrible anxiety and the feelings I'm feeling. I'm so scared.
What are you guys thinking?