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FirstAid

Member Since 19 Nov 2018
Offline Last Active Aug 12 2019 06:55 AM
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#597866 Time goes so fast

Posted by FirstAid on 09 March 2019 - 06:15 AM

I was like that months ago, tbh since this all started in April 2018 it feels like the year has happened in an instant yet it feels likw I've been like this for an eternity.

Seems like a common symptom so naturally, don't worry about it, get on with your day like you normally would.
You were doing well recently, just keep going.


#597748 Thinking of starting mitazipine or something, whatever it's called.

Posted by FirstAid on 06 March 2019 - 12:27 PM

You should never rule out medication as this condition can seriously affect your ability to function. I did for a long time and am glad I started imipramine a couple of months ago as this is something that helps my sleep. I would also say that I and many others have found CBD vaping helps me sleep a lot better.
 
Mirtazapine also had this affect but seemed to impact my short term memory as some anti-histamine acting drugs can do. Let us know which medication you choose and how you get on


My short term memory is shit enough tbh. May go for the cbd under the tongue, I'd put a hot poker up my arsehole at this point if it would fix me.


#597732 Thinking of starting mitazipine or something, whatever it's called.

Posted by FirstAid on 06 March 2019 - 06:06 AM

Thinking of starting medication as I am not really sleeping, plus not getting any better at all.

May meds may help, I have been against the idea for ages but this is the point where I'll consider them.

Odd thing is, I don't really feel anxiety but my mind won't shut up, feel like I'm in deep thought and I don't want to be but it feels like normal thinking but I know its not.


#597728 anybody have any positives from dp?

Posted by FirstAid on 06 March 2019 - 05:06 AM

Nothing but anguish so far, I would rather have the sadness/ depression than this shit.

Only thing I can say is when I do beat this and get better, I will live life to the fullest. No more going to work then home and sitting on my arse playing games all day with no life.

I'm going to do the things I had aspirations for before I got this shit, get fit, look for a girlfriend and hopefully fall in love, track down old friends and apologise for a falling out, make new friends, get a tattoo, go to a chiropracto to try and resolve the back pain from my car accident, seek more help about the acne keloid scarring on my back.


#597582 Alcohol

Posted by FirstAid on 02 March 2019 - 03:24 PM

Mate why did you do that, from what you have said you were doing well.

Alcohol is one of things known to make it worse for some people. Don't do it again or I'll tan your arse.


#596774 Feel so dead inside/dissociated

Posted by FirstAid on 10 February 2019 - 07:03 PM

I feel like Im not alive anymore. I cant feel any empathy or love, no meaning or passion, nothing interests me. I feel like an empty worthless useless and pathetic husk. I feel like a lost case.
At the same time Im dealing with derealisation and questioning existance.
My present feels like a dream or a memory.
Has anyone else felt like this? Ive dealt with it since november. Dont really know if its worth to keep going or not. I feel so stuck.



I'm in the same position mate, I had control before October but now its different. Keep going, keep living, do the things you are meant to do to get better as you may aswell try atleast, see what happens. This is you for the moment, not forever. There is always hope, even if you don't feel it, I'm literally the same but I have to press on. As at the end of the day, we deserve to live and enjoy life, I don't want to die but Im that empty at the minute its as if I don't care, but I want to care and I still aspire to live fully. Keep going mate we're all in this together,don't ever not give things the chance to improve.


#596682 Do you have consciousness/self-awareness?

Posted by FirstAid on 09 February 2019 - 03:56 PM

Hello,
 
I believe that DP/DR is a dislocation of Consciousness. Just as a physical bone may become dislocated, e.g. dislocated knee. And so it may be possible to relocate.
 
There are a number of problems we face with this. One is that nobody can see this. It's like as if life were a marathon race, and we have a dislocated knee, yet nobody can tell, and wonders why we aren't running. Then we have to try our best to limp on forward in life in extreme pain and nobody can help us but ourselves.
 
Secondly, Scientists are currently still debating whether or not Consciousness even exists or not. But I believe one day that Science can potentially figure it out and discover/detect and work with Consciousness itself. Then they could possibly develop a technology to manipulate Consciousness. At that point, DP/DR would be a simple visit to the doctor, and they'd use their machines and snap us back into place.
 
But that is not currently the case. Consciousness and the Self being central to our being, makes our case like trying to operate on our own broken hand, using that broken hand to operate with, and not knowing or having been schooled on how to perform surgery. We are in the Dark Ages of DP/DR Research and Understanding.
 
But there is hope. People do recover after all. I've always believed that if we only knew the way, then it would be quite easy. The major problem is not knowing what this is, not having any answers to the ten thousand questions we have. But I maintain my belief, DP/DR is a matter of Consciousness, and more specifically a dislocation of Consciousness.
 
One last thing I'd like to share that I believe: Consciousness is to Mind as Bone is to Body.


Strangely reassuring, going to start meditating again. When I tried in the toilets at work the other day for the first time in ages. It felt like I couldn't see through my mind, like there was a wall blocking me from connecting. Tried for a bit and felt less of a space around me, when I was dissociating before October i would breath close my eyes and reconnect myself, Its almost as if something was connecting in my mind and I could feel it.

Right now it feels like that connection had severed and its covered in layers of shit because i let myself dissociate and thoughts go

Hopefully I can clear my mind I re connect.

Hello,
 
I believe that DP/DR is a dislocation of Consciousness. Just as a physical bone may become dislocated, e.g. dislocated knee. And so it may be possible to relocate.
 
There are a number of problems we face with this. One is that nobody can see this. It's like as if life were a marathon race, and we have a dislocated knee, yet nobody can tell, and wonders why we aren't running. Then we have to try our best to limp on forward in life in extreme pain and nobody can help us but ourselves.
 
Secondly, Scientists are currently still debating whether or not Consciousness even exists or not. But I believe one day that Science can potentially figure it out and discover/detect and work with Consciousness itself. Then they could possibly develop a technology to manipulate Consciousness. At that point, DP/DR would be a simple visit to the doctor, and they'd use their machines and snap us back into place.
 
But that is not currently the case. Consciousness and the Self being central to our being, makes our case like trying to operate on our own broken hand, using that broken hand to operate with, and not knowing or having been schooled on how to perform surgery. We are in the Dark Ages of DP/DR Research and Understanding.
 
But there is hope. People do recover after all. I've always believed that if we only knew the way, then it would be quite easy. The major problem is not knowing what this is, not having any answers to the ten thousand questions we have. But I maintain my belief, DP/DR is a matter of Consciousness, and more specifically a dislocation of Consciousness.
 
One last thing I'd like to share that I believe: Consciousness is to Mind as Bone is to Body.




#595324 choose: just have DP / Just Have DR

Posted by FirstAid on 10 January 2019 - 12:06 PM

Yep would rather have dr like I did in the beginning, not this total loss of self and emotions. Really hope people get through this, we all deserve to get better,to live fully and enjoy life.


#593520 Feel like I'm forgetting how I used to be, and in turn what my symptoms a...

Posted by FirstAid on 01 December 2018 - 02:21 PM

It essentially started in june but had been experiencing other symptoms at the beginning of may and has progressively gotten worse, caused by a moment of panic over my depression.

from October everything changed it was like I gave up, at that point my head felt weird and it felt sort of relief for a moment and since then anxiety dissappeared, identity has disappeared, sense of self, can't even recognise my own consciousness, can't even think or get an idea to wany to do something, emotions have dissappeared.

I stopped being able to recognise how I used to see things and how I felt connected yo myself, in turn stoppedtrying to focus on seeing it that way again, and not focusing on said things.

Head feels empty and can't automatically think, my ability to think is gone it feels more like i'm dissociating but I'm not in a dreamlike state, the certain thoughts I have or the constant informing myself of my own symptoms which feel like I'm telling someone else my own symptoms like my thoughts are outside myself, seem to be happening in realtime where as if before they felt like I was drifting off in thought rather than being in the present.

Alot of the thoughts I have I could recognise before october and shut off and somewhat refocus,now I have lost the ability to do so, thoughts and memories sound and feel the same yet I somehow realise they are different.

my vision is clear but my head mind feels sort of like its somewhere else lingering outside of me, like I'm looking at things but my eyes are outside of my body.

Cannot focus or engage in anything, I can do activities/work without issue but I know I don't feel connected to myself in anyway, yet I can't remember how that feels.

Few months ago I used to be able to ground myself abit and feel somewhat inside myself, now its like im completely outside as if I've disconnected completely.

So in turn I am still aware things are not what they were and that they are wrong, just now I can't seem to feel those symptoms or in a way recognise them due to nearly forgetting how I used to be.

When I go to speak to people its like talking to thin air, I can't connect or direct my speech, like you know when you talk to people they become your only focus in that moment it ends up me just recognising my voices feels wrong and sounds like im talking to myself, but have currently have no self so essentially feels like im talking to someone else.

I always recognising that my voice feel as if it's far away and not my own, I used to recognise its stronger but now I'm not even sure.

As right now I don't know what to do,feels like there is no point going on.

A couple of months ago I'd think how crazy it was I could lose who I was in the space of 8 months, but here I am.

Anyone similar, or if anyone has recovered with such symptoms? Feel like im losing more and more everyday, I don't want this to become a reality and lose the symptoms I have, its like the only reminder of how I used to be.

Just hope I can who I was back and feeo whole again, really feel like the way I think at the minute won't return to normal, can't even remember what normal was really now but I know it isn't this as I have been aware of every change since it all kicked off, as of now I'm in a state of confusing because I cant even centre myself.