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Member Since 25 Aug 2018
Offline Last Active Apr 05 2019 12:18 AM

Topics I've Started

Anyone else?

31 March 2019 - 07:37 AM

Ive had this everynight for over a week. Like most wierd feelings, this is difficult to describe but ill do my best. Basically in order for me to get comfortable to sleep i have my own calming rituals. Tonight, i chose to color in my phone app as coloring is relaxing. But sure enough the wierd confusion and mental imagery started immidetly after closing my eyes. Now heres the wierd thing. Whenever i do something right before sleep, its like my mind still believes im doing it even though ive stopped. As in, when i closed my eyes, i still had mental imagery that i was still coloring. And whenever my mind drifted to other thoughts, it still felt like i was coloring. This happens with anything i do right before bed. If im watching a video, i believe in still watching it even if ive turned it off and will vividly hear the voice of the person speaking in the video still. Not only this but this is all accompanied by severe confusion where i cant tell whether im awake or not untill i fully wake up. Im also very anxious and will jolt awake often, however, the jolt doesnt fully wake me up and im still in a confused and disoriented state and it usually causes a panic attack. Its also accompanied by vertigo and head pressure.


29 March 2019 - 07:15 AM

Im very sleep deprived right now so forgive me if some of this makes no sense or is not consistent. Im honestly going crazy over this. Is the existential aspect of dpdr just how a mature adult thinks? Im young still and recently turned 22. I talk to everyone i know about these things and everyones had experiance with these thoughts. Thing is i feel like ive dwelled and thought about them so much, ive reached further levels that not many other people understand. This is also causing me great distress. Even when im not thinking existentially, ill find myself panicking and wonder why im panicking only to realize its cause my existential dread has just been running in the backround of my mind like a virus in a computer. I dont know or think its possible for it to leave anymore, espessially if its just inevitable to think this way as a mature human being. I just wish i could think the way i did a couple years ago. This shit makes it impossible for me to be at peace with living, it makes it impossible to enjoy things anymore and it makes it so so hard to ever get sleep and keeping a consistent sleep scedual is impossible. I constantly feel like im swimming around in my own head and nothing makes sense. Drugs and therapy dont really help existential problems appearently so i dont know how to cope with this. Everytime i think its gone, its simply me being distracted from it. I just want it gone. This may sound stupid but i feel like my brain has created its own trauma that i have ptsd from. Every experiance ive had with dpdr, marijuana, my loved ones death and the existential shit has all become some amalgamation in my mind of constant fear and worry of going back to any of those places. I really dont think the same, im a different person and life is different permanently and i just wish this trauma had never happened. I cant control my experiance of life no matter what i do i guess.


27 March 2019 - 03:52 AM

Ive been having very strange sensations and feelings old and new ones that pop up that i thought were related to dpdr but now im starting to think its temporal lobe epilepsy that was actually causing my dpdr and probably even my panic attacks. Im going to a doctor soon to have tests and scans done but it would be very helpful if anyone on here with diagnosed epilepsy could shed some light on what it feels like and the symptoms of an actual seizure.
My symptoms include:
- feelings of numbness in the face
- zappy feelings in my head
- very sudden shifts in mood, extreme highs and lows that may only last a few seconds or few minutes and can include intense fear, anger, sadness, and happiness or abnormal confidence
- involuntary movements, twitches and muscle spasms that get worse at night
- a wierd frightening feeling that builds and builds, usually when im trying to sleep or very relaxed
- sleep paralysis
- i dont get deja vu but i used to get it alot in the past
- a freezing feeling where i just kinda zone out and dont move and think about nothing in particular and feel almost euphoric for less than a minute
- sensory anomalies like sudden taste in mouth like sweet, metalic, or salty, hearing anomalies like tinitus, pressure that are periodic and last seconds to a minute or two and happens at least once an hour.
- feelings of skin crawling, feeling cold or hot when others in the same room dont.
- and of course all the symptoms of dpdr but ive recently gotten over most of my dpdr, theres just some residual feelings left i guess and will usually come back in episodes or under stress

Theres like so many more cause i take mental notes whenever i feel something strange which is everyday but i forget them after a while (im trying to keep a journal or my phone on me at all times so i can record more)

Any imput will be appriciated and hopefully i can help someone else as well, thanks!

Are we all inter-connected?

19 March 2019 - 10:45 AM

This thought has been nagging at me for a while now. At first i thought how it just feels like we are all little bits of the same energy and that when we die, that bit either disperses and/or is reused or dissapears entirely. I looked this up even and found very interesting articals and apearently this idea is making traction in the scientific community. If we are all connected, all as one, in religious terms, we could all me part of god, literally. But recently this started making me feel very depressed. If every living thing is connected in someway and to the universe as a whole, it kind of takes the idea of individuality and throws it out the window and also makes me, yet again, wonder what the big purpose to everything is...

Any thoughts?

Sweet taste in mouth?

16 February 2019 - 06:55 AM

This may not be related to dpdr at all, i have no idea since it could be a neurological or something else going on with me. But if anyone else gets this too, itd at least tell me im not alone in this.
So basically, out of nowhere and usually when ive been laying down, my mouth will fill with saliva as it naturally should except, suddenly it all tastes sweet to me. This taste will last only a couple minutes and then go away. This isnt caused by eating something before that. It happened just a bit ago and i havent had anything to eat for a few hours. I get this maybe once or twice a week so its not something im all that worried about but i want to know if its normal i guess.