healing doesnt come easy

The annoying thing is, I already got and recovered from DP/DR and now i'm getting it again. No lie it took me 4 years to feel like I was 90% better. I know that it will probably get better again but every time I slip into one of these states I just get this feeling like its different. Like something else more sinister is going on and i'm going bat shit. I also get frustrated that this is MY LIFE and I haven't been in control since this all started in 7th grade. I haven't felt REAL in so damn long and I cant take it anymore. Im missing out on so much. Its my senior year now, I just started dating a drop-dead beautiful girlfriend, I have good test scores and my college applications are looking good, I just got my license. This is supposed to be and it would be, the happiest time of my life so far. Yet I cant even fucking experience it. Im trapped in this psychotic bubble. I get so scared of how i'm feeling especially in class that I think i'm going to just drop dead. Im also afraid to tell my GF about this, I was this chill, anxiety-free guy ever since she met me 6 months ago and only about a week ago did I have this DP/DR relapse. Now i'm super paranoid and I basically mentally challenged. 

 

These are my symptoms:

-Thick brain fog (Like I legit cant think sometimes)

-Distant feeling (Like I cant connect to any of my surrounding, like nothing is real and my consciousness is fading)

-Braindead (sometimes I get so zoned out I feel like i'm about to become unresponsive and drop into a coma or something)

-Anxiety (Im constantly afraid of my psychiatric situation, i'm afraid i'm going crazy)

-Short/Long Memory Loss (Wanna know what I ate for breakfast this morning? Forget about it)

Hey brother, listen its really hard to give advice, but i'm going to try my best. YOU have mentioned nothing about having delusions or auditory/visual hallucinations, so dont worry you're not going crazy and youre not going to! I totally feel you with those symptoms, Ive had those exact ones, and some were even worse(in the post). YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR GF EVERYTHING dont fear judgement and if she thinks youre crazy maybe you dont need to have her in your life. You need a good support system! Try not to focus on your symptoms much, just check in on them if that makes sense. YOU need to find something to do that you love! I hope i helped 

Thank u For the post , i recovered too from sévère DP/dr and now Im suffering alot with feelings of low self esteem and lack of confiance , and honestly i prefere DP/dr than this disgusting feeling , the question is :did u passed this stage after recovery ?

Sorry for not being on this forum guys, ive been working so much. To answer your question i'm still battling depression, but to give you some hope it has gotten alot better since a few months ago. A few months ago i was severely depressed and I would obsess over death and barely wanted to get out of bed, but now i'm working every day and getting better as the months go by. MY ADVICE is to find yourself a best friend or someone you can talk to every day that has stuff in common with you. Getting out and talking to people, or just doing something I love like traveling to a new place outside of my city has helped my depression alot

Did you just not previously post that your DP is GONE and you are fully recovered ????

I should clarify.... like i said im not the best with english x'D I am fully recovered.... I STILL HAVE EXISTENTIAL THOUGHTS LIKE WHEN I HAD DP/DR

Existential thoughts.....I've had them alot. It's been close to 3 years since my experience with dp/dr happened and I'm feeling almost fully recovered and I still get them. Life does feel normal though and i'm happy to say that. I only get those bad thoughts late at night lol.