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#620850 Take Mucuna

Posted by Phantasm on 23 August 2020 - 02:32 AM

I bought a sample pack of mucuna pruriens after reading this, and it's pretty good. Best supplement I've tried since glycine for calming my body and mind.


Thanks :)

#620756 Has a switch flipped in my brain?

Posted by Phantasm on 21 August 2020 - 07:23 AM

That's great, Maddy. A lot of people do say that as their dissociation goes they can find it a bit freaky, and I think that's not surprising if someone has spent a long time in that bubble and finds themselves connecting directly with the world again!


I remember some of the advice was not to try to manage or question it, to accept it and carry on as normal, not to try using any coping mechanisms and just give yourself time to adjust :)

#619652 Back after a year! Sobering up. How is everyone?

Posted by Phantasm on 18 July 2020 - 11:33 AM

Good luck with it all :) Sadly a lot of people with mental health issues self-medicate as it can be such a hard thing to deal with, but that's great you are taking positive steps for your health. 

#619094 Buddha and Acceptance

Posted by Phantasm on 30 June 2020 - 07:09 PM

Herman Hesse wrote Siddartha. The central message that Siddhartha learns is that experience, rather than avoiding certain things in the “real world”, leads to understanding;

rather than desires and belongings being a distraction, they are as important to our perception of the world as all other actions and thought.

Siddartha fulfilled his desires en-route to spiritual nirvana, proving that there is more than one way to skin Buddha's cat.


I've read a couple of books by Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf and The Glass Bead Game, and got a sense of his idea of Buddhism, but he was a novelist.


This is from the Dhammapada:


And yet it is not good conduct

That helps you upon the way

Nor ritual, nor book learning,

Nor withdrawal into the self,

Nor deep meditations.

None of these things confers mastery or joy.


O seeker!

Rely on nothing

Until you want nothing.

#619010 Buddha and Acceptance

Posted by Phantasm on 26 June 2020 - 02:09 PM

Watched a documentary about Buddha the other night (BBC, Bettany Hughes). Found it inspiring so dug out my old copy of the Dhammapada.


One of his core teachings was that desire is the root of all suffering.


On this site acceptance is an idea often referred to as important in recovery. It occurred to me that these things are the same. "Want nothing," is the same as accepting.


Just a thought.

#617124 2 foods that help me a bit with anxiety and blurry vision

Posted by Phantasm on 15 April 2020 - 11:49 PM

I like peanut butter, read that people who eat it regularly have less heart problems


Love Brussels sprouts, but can only get them seasonally.

#616616 I have a question for the people who are recovering/recovered

Posted by Phantasm on 31 March 2020 - 08:02 PM

Yep, definite signs of recovery :)


There's a saying that when will and imagination are in conflict imagination always wins. Further, using force of will can create a sense of deficit. That you're dreaming of being well is good. You can reinforce this with suggestions like, "how does it feel being fully recovered?" For me, asking questions about what it feels like to have no problems works best as direction to the subconscious, and I think it needs it because it's very direct. We maintain states by dwelling on them obsessively, so let's pick a good one.


Dream well :) 

#614792 Processing trauma with a blank mind

Posted by Phantasm on 15 February 2020 - 06:20 AM

I think you should tackle the grief first, and maybe the DP is a symptom (what I think of as One Step Beyond, the Madness song, where we go mad away from original cause).


I think grief counselling would be something that could really help, so I hope you'll look into it. If you cant, there's a book called The Grief Recovery Handbook. I know there's no easy answers, but if you have support and someone to talk to it will make a difference.

#613978 EMDR

Posted by Phantasm on 03 February 2020 - 09:34 AM

I learned all about it and did all the processing part - had all the manuals - but my ingrained negativity at the time cancelled it out. The last part, the part I thought most unimportant, is the most important, the re-framing, changing how you feel about things, is essential.


You can go over and relive trauma a million times, but if you don't change how you feel about it - and you can do that deliberately - then you wont move forward.

#612194 The life-changing power of words : Kristin Rivas at TedxRainier

Posted by Phantasm on 07 January 2020 - 12:29 PM

Someone posted this video recently in a thread they have since deleted, but it struck a chord with me so I wanted to re-post it. It was what she was saying after about 12 minutes in, about how the mind can interpret memories as events happening now, when actually the past doesn't exist anymore.


#612058 DR not really correlated with anxiety

Posted by Phantasm on 04 January 2020 - 10:20 AM

I think it would be unusual to have obsessive thoughts that didn't at least begin with stress and anxiety, and I agree that you can become so used to stress you no longer recognize it as abnormal, but I also think obsessive thinking can take hold, and it then continues to generate stress by itself.


So we might not even be thinking about DP/DR or anything anxiety related as such, but because we are obsessing about something, it keeps our minds over-worked. This might explain why some people no longer think about it but still feel unwell.


For me it was always like I had this proviso, this one or two issues, that if I can just figure them out then I'd be able to move on, not realizing that it was only the obsessing itself that was keeping my issues alive.


If we once felt under threat, it's understandable why we would be reluctant to let go of all obsession (just in case) but when you become aware that it might be obsession itself - any obsession - that might be the cause, we can hopefully let go more and more of those attempts to control everything with our minds. I certainly recognize that conversation with yourself you described! That revelation you had I also identified with, as I had one similar with the thought, "Don't let anyone ever tell you you don't matter," as I think they both relate to self-worth, which can be very core to mental health matters because people with healthy self-esteem tend not to constantly question themselves.

#611748 Relapse from St John's Wort??

Posted by Phantasm on 30 December 2019 - 03:33 PM

In my experience St John's Wort doesn't have any withdrawal symptoms. It wears off, but that's all. I think you were more likely anxious - hyper-vigilant - and when you feel that way any slight changes you feel can be a trigger. In that state if you take anything that doesn't feel quite right for you, which it might not have been, you might react with anxiety.


This is just a suggestion, but you might try something that supports your nervous system, like ZMA or Spirulina, and Ashwagandha, which is a good adaptogen for stress. 

#611236 So my feelings are back and it is at times fucking scarry. Help plz

Posted by Phantasm on 19 December 2019 - 04:56 AM

Hi Yuri, yes someone was talking about this the other day - about how we can be scared to let go of these things, just in case. That lingering doubt.


I guess you just have to keep dismissing that doubt as false, after all it's not helping so serves no purpose. Something that helps me is to keep reminding myself that thoughts - all words, ideas, imaginings and fears - don't have any substance and cannot hurt you, which is objectively true so my mind has to accept it. For all my fear nothing actually happened. You could say I developed a phobia of my own thoughts, and this helps me see through it.

#608478 I suffered with severe DP/DR for a long time. I got over it. I want to help o...

Posted by Phantasm on 29 October 2019 - 08:47 AM

I'm really happy for you kittykitten. I think you were the one I first read who made a direct comparison with OCD, and I'd never really thought of it that way because I had no external rituals. To me OCD was this thing that was peculiar to other people, and not something that related to me, but when I thought about it yep of course I had obsessive and repetitive thinking patterns. You see it all the time here, whether it's obsessively reading medical papers or self-checking for new symptoms. I was always self-analyzing, and in doing so constantly reinforcing the notion that there was something very wrong with me, just as you said.


I liked what you said about using our obsessive natures for us instead of against us. Turning it towards healing and healthy practices. It reminds me of the film Trainspotting 2 where Renton talks about being an addict, so be addicted to something else! I've heard it described as the law of substitution. Replacing the obsession with something new, something better. I'm doing it with gentle suggestion when I'm daydreaming, like I'll say softly to myself, "imagine I'm fully recovered, right now, how would that be?" and it helps me build on a sense of how I want to be, as if it's already happened. The mind is very direct and what we dwell on in the present acts as instruction for how we will be.   

#607964 it seems to me that most.people who suffer from dp/dr are caucasian

Posted by Phantasm on 16 October 2019 - 04:36 AM

I've seen people here from all over the world. North and South America, Europe, Asia, Australia. I've heard mention there's a big DP online community in China.