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#619094 Buddha and Acceptance

Posted by Phantasm on 30 June 2020 - 07:09 PM

Herman Hesse wrote Siddartha. The central message that Siddhartha learns is that experience, rather than avoiding certain things in the “real world”, leads to understanding;

rather than desires and belongings being a distraction, they are as important to our perception of the world as all other actions and thought.

Siddartha fulfilled his desires en-route to spiritual nirvana, proving that there is more than one way to skin Buddha's cat.


I've read a couple of books by Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf and The Glass Bead Game, and got a sense of his idea of Buddhism, but he was a novelist.


This is from the Dhammapada:


And yet it is not good conduct

That helps you upon the way

Nor ritual, nor book learning,

Nor withdrawal into the self,

Nor deep meditations.

None of these things confers mastery or joy.


O seeker!

Rely on nothing

Until you want nothing.

#619010 Buddha and Acceptance

Posted by Phantasm on 26 June 2020 - 02:09 PM

Watched a documentary about Buddha the other night (BBC, Bettany Hughes). Found it inspiring so dug out my old copy of the Dhammapada.


One of his core teachings was that desire is the root of all suffering.


On this site acceptance is an idea often referred to as important in recovery. It occurred to me that these things are the same. "Want nothing," is the same as accepting.


Just a thought.

#617124 2 foods that help me a bit with anxiety and blurry vision

Posted by Phantasm on 15 April 2020 - 11:49 PM

I like peanut butter, read that people who eat it regularly have less heart problems


Love Brussels sprouts, but can only get them seasonally.

#616616 I have a question for the people who are recovering/recovered

Posted by Phantasm on 31 March 2020 - 08:02 PM

Yep, definite signs of recovery :)


There's a saying that when will and imagination are in conflict imagination always wins. Further, using force of will can create a sense of deficit. That you're dreaming of being well is good. You can reinforce this with suggestions like, "how does it feel being fully recovered?" For me, asking questions about what it feels like to have no problems works best as direction to the subconscious, and I think it needs it because it's very direct. We maintain states by dwelling on them obsessively, so let's pick a good one.


Dream well :) 

#614792 Processing trauma with a blank mind

Posted by Phantasm on 15 February 2020 - 06:20 AM

I think you should tackle the grief first, and maybe the DP is a symptom (what I think of as One Step Beyond, the Madness song, where we go mad away from original cause).


I think grief counselling would be something that could really help, so I hope you'll look into it. If you cant, there's a book called The Grief Recovery Handbook. I know there's no easy answers, but if you have support and someone to talk to it will make a difference.

#613978 EMDR

Posted by Phantasm on 03 February 2020 - 09:34 AM

I learned all about it and did all the processing part - had all the manuals - but my ingrained negativity at the time cancelled it out. The last part, the part I thought most unimportant, is the most important, the re-framing, changing how you feel about things, is essential.


You can go over and relive trauma a million times, but if you don't change how you feel about it - and you can do that deliberately - then you wont move forward.

#612194 The life-changing power of words : Kristin Rivas at TedxRainier

Posted by Phantasm on 07 January 2020 - 12:29 PM

Someone posted this video recently in a thread they have since deleted, but it struck a chord with me so I wanted to re-post it. It was what she was saying after about 12 minutes in, about how the mind can interpret memories as events happening now, when actually the past doesn't exist anymore.


#612058 DR not really correlated with anxiety

Posted by Phantasm on 04 January 2020 - 10:20 AM

I think it would be unusual to have obsessive thoughts that didn't at least begin with stress and anxiety, and I agree that you can become so used to stress you no longer recognize it as abnormal, but I also think obsessive thinking can take hold, and it then continues to generate stress by itself.


So we might not even be thinking about DP/DR or anything anxiety related as such, but because we are obsessing about something, it keeps our minds over-worked. This might explain why some people no longer think about it but still feel unwell.


For me it was always like I had this proviso, this one or two issues, that if I can just figure them out then I'd be able to move on, not realizing that it was only the obsessing itself that was keeping my issues alive.


If we once felt under threat, it's understandable why we would be reluctant to let go of all obsession (just in case) but when you become aware that it might be obsession itself - any obsession - that might be the cause, we can hopefully let go more and more of those attempts to control everything with our minds. I certainly recognize that conversation with yourself you described! That revelation you had I also identified with, as I had one similar with the thought, "Don't let anyone ever tell you you don't matter," as I think they both relate to self-worth, which can be very core to mental health matters because people with healthy self-esteem tend not to constantly question themselves.

#611748 Relapse from St John's Wort??

Posted by Phantasm on 30 December 2019 - 03:33 PM

In my experience St John's Wort doesn't have any withdrawal symptoms. It wears off, but that's all. I think you were more likely anxious - hyper-vigilant - and when you feel that way any slight changes you feel can be a trigger. In that state if you take anything that doesn't feel quite right for you, which it might not have been, you might react with anxiety.


This is just a suggestion, but you might try something that supports your nervous system, like ZMA or Spirulina, and Ashwagandha, which is a good adaptogen for stress. 

#611236 So my feelings are back and it is at times fucking scarry. Help plz

Posted by Phantasm on 19 December 2019 - 04:56 AM

Hi Yuri, yes someone was talking about this the other day - about how we can be scared to let go of these things, just in case. That lingering doubt.


I guess you just have to keep dismissing that doubt as false, after all it's not helping so serves no purpose. Something that helps me is to keep reminding myself that thoughts - all words, ideas, imaginings and fears - don't have any substance and cannot hurt you, which is objectively true so my mind has to accept it. For all my fear nothing actually happened. You could say I developed a phobia of my own thoughts, and this helps me see through it.

#608478 I suffered with severe DP/DR for a long time. I got over it. I want to help o...

Posted by Phantasm on 29 October 2019 - 08:47 AM

I'm really happy for you kittykitten. I think you were the one I first read who made a direct comparison with OCD, and I'd never really thought of it that way because I had no external rituals. To me OCD was this thing that was peculiar to other people, and not something that related to me, but when I thought about it yep of course I had obsessive and repetitive thinking patterns. You see it all the time here, whether it's obsessively reading medical papers or self-checking for new symptoms. I was always self-analyzing, and in doing so constantly reinforcing the notion that there was something very wrong with me, just as you said.


I liked what you said about using our obsessive natures for us instead of against us. Turning it towards healing and healthy practices. It reminds me of the film Trainspotting 2 where Renton talks about being an addict, so be addicted to something else! I've heard it described as the law of substitution. Replacing the obsession with something new, something better. I'm doing it with gentle suggestion when I'm daydreaming, like I'll say softly to myself, "imagine I'm fully recovered, right now, how would that be?" and it helps me build on a sense of how I want to be, as if it's already happened. The mind is very direct and what we dwell on in the present acts as instruction for how we will be.   

#608366 horror shows

Posted by Phantasm on 26 October 2019 - 03:43 AM

Funny thing is I used to be really into horror when I was much worse (hence the username) because I felt so numb and it was the only thing that could get through that numbness. As I got better and became more sensitive I stopped watching horror altogether as it would spook me and I preferred a good nights sleep to lying in bed listening for creeks or watching shadows! These days I still watch horror shows, but I avoid the very spooky ones if it's near bedtime. 


Horror is designed to unnerve you, so it's maybe not surprising if it effects your dp/dr. For some reason though I kept a degree of separation between the feeling of being weirded-out by a horror and dp/dr symptoms, although they can obviously be very similar or the same. The idiosyncrasies of interpreting feelings I guess, but I would use that camera effect from Jaws, where he's sitting in a chair and he realizes there's a shark, to describe what a panic attack was like to people. 

#607964 it seems to me that most.people who suffer from dp/dr are caucasian

Posted by Phantasm on 16 October 2019 - 04:36 AM

I've seen people here from all over the world. North and South America, Europe, Asia, Australia. I've heard mention there's a big DP online community in China.

#607622 My ULTIMATE cure to dp/dr

Posted by Phantasm on 11 October 2019 - 02:43 AM

I think the type of exercise here is significant. Exercise in general will make you feel healthier and improve your self-esteem, so that's good, but I think there is something else at play with cycling, which requires intensive concentration and engagement with your environment. You are moving at speed and exposed to the elements, so you have to be focused on what you are doing and what is happening around you. This doesn't leave a lot of room for DP thoughts, so I imagine that if you did it for long periods of time, like a biking holiday, it could have a real benefit of drawing you out of yourself and retraining your attention.


So the interesting question is: How much of the positive effect is due purely to the physical exercise and how much is due to the mental engagement with a real world environment the activity requires? I expect they both play a part, so hopefully it may not be necessary to do these things to the extreme - interestingly there's an old technique monks would use to teach students clarity which was to make them run up a mountain until they dropped! Of course it's not possible for everyone to cycle five hours a day, even gently, but maybe there are some principles at work here that people can adapt for themselves. (Always consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise regime, yadda yadda yadda.)

#606928 Paralyzing Fear

Posted by Phantasm on 26 September 2019 - 04:30 AM

Hi, lulu, I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way, and yes, after my last nervous breakdown I felt the same way, I was a nervous wreck, shaking like a leaf and scared of everything. Nothing helped, but I started taking spirulina - the only thing I could take without panicking - and ashwaghanda helped too.


What I did do was attend to the things I could attend to, like self-supporting dialogue, countering negative voices and building constructive ones. As awful as it all feels, it is all just paranoia and bad conditioning, so keep dismissing it all as just that. 


The subconscious is sometimes likened to a garden, and many of the bad seeds aren't planted by us, they came from negative people, but we can start weeding and replanting, so I would say to start thinking in the ways you would like to be, just as if it's already happened. When you're half-asleep, Imagine how it would feel to be completely recovered. Persist and don't be discouraged by anyone, expectation is direction.


Focusing on the things you can do also has the added benefit of taking your mind off symptoms, which are usually irrelevant anyway, but we can build them up too much. Play video games if you are feeling immediately anxious, while reminding yourself it's just paranoia and you are completely safe. It's just kinks your mind needs to untangle.