courtneyk - Viewing Profile: Likes - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content

Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


Member Since 20 Apr 2017
Offline Last Active Private

#534210 Haven’t been on in a while. Just an update

Posted by courtneyk on 17 December 2017 - 11:14 PM

9 months since my initial dpdr hit.
My life isn’t consumed by dpdr anymore. I can go out with friends and family. Live a fairly normal life but I’m not 100% yet. I just think that the experience has messed up my brain in some weird way.

I’m just not who I use to be. I still feel this strangeness to be human. I feel like I lost who I am and the outside me and the inside me just don’t match up. I’m not as smart or witty as I use to be. I don’t sleep good anymore either. My memory is shot and I jumble my words when I talk.

I feel like I don’t have dpdr anymore, I don’t connect to this site anymore. But I’m definitely still not right. Luckily my anxiety and depression have significantly subsided but I stlll feel so “off”. Can anyone relate? I mean I’ll take this over the awfulness I experienced months ago but I just want life to be normal again but I don’t even know what that would mean at this point but I just know this way I’m feeling isn’t normal

#523802 List 5 facts about yourself :)

Posted by courtneyk on 18 November 2017 - 01:15 PM

This post was a great idea considering we all as anxious people have terrible low self esteem....

Its about time we all started realising and started becoming aware of the amazing things weve achieved and done in life (With or without DP)

We are all actually pretty damn kewl talented people...

I agree! Everyone that has posted seem intelligent and interesting despite what we're all going through

#523538 List 5 facts about yourself :)

Posted by courtneyk on 17 November 2017 - 08:52 PM

Ok really cool! here we go

1) I am a troll. Not in a negative way, i love to prank my family and friends and we end up laughing together (yeah even despite dissociation I can still have some good laughter)
2) I have 2 cats, and i love animals
3) I love playing CS:GO, it's a shooting game, I'm pretty good at it.
4) I'm on first year of psychology in college, i really love studying the mind, emotions, physical body, and I think i'm creative and have many theories about the mechanisms of DP (even if they may be crazy and non-scientific)
5) I am a spiritual person, i believe we are souls, i believe there is an 'afterlife', i believe there is God (not a judgmental God like many religions say, but a some form of God or Source of life and the Universe)

I studied psychology in college as well. I was even going to major in it. It's funny because I've heard that around this site. Yes to fact 5. I feel the same way!
Thanks for sharing!

#521722 List 5 facts about yourself :)

Posted by courtneyk on 12 November 2017 - 09:57 PM

1 I was a black belt In Taekwondo when I was 16 and represented Ireland in international competitions (I actually won the British Championships)

2 I won 3 player of the year (MVP) awards for three different amateur soccer teams

3 I cant sleep unless there is a tv on in the background

4 I have 9 aquariums (of various sizes) with over 200 different species of fish from all over the world

5 I would totally volunteer to be one of the first humans to travel to Mars even in the knowledge that I would not be returning.......

Chicane lefties are super skillful when it comes to art and sports and music....Courtney Mexican food rocks....

Okay you sound so cool! That's some neat stuff. I'm absolutely terrified of space so I respect you for that. I would say heck no haha.

Yes! Mexican food is the greatest ;D

#521594 List 5 facts about yourself :)

Posted by courtneyk on 12 November 2017 - 06:35 PM

I'll start
1. I absolutely love gardening
2. I've been married to my husband for 3 years
3. I have 2 dogs (border collie & a shi tzu) chickens, horses, sheep and a few kitties.
4. I could eat Mexican food for every meal, everyday for the rest of my life.
5. The Office is my Netflix go-to.

#521586 List 5 facts about yourself :)

Posted by courtneyk on 12 November 2017 - 06:29 PM

Hi friends!
We need some positivity around here and I think it would be fun to get to know each other.
So I think it would be fun for you guys to share 5 facts about yourself (positive & not dpdr related.) (also I realize a lot of us feel pretty lost about ourselves right now but it's still doable)
It can be where you're from, any pets you own, random quirks or whatever!

#521506 I don't even know what this is anymore

Posted by courtneyk on 12 November 2017 - 04:15 PM

I feel the same way Courtney. Ever since this happened I feel like a different person, kind of like losing your identity. I also can't remember what life felt like before dp. Everyone says these are normal symptoms, but just like you I doubt it often. I find myself thinking I'm going to lose my mind at any minute or that this isint dp. I try to focus on the progress I've made so far, to kinda keep me going. Like I remember how when I first got it I was so horrible I hated talking to people or leaving my bed, now I can talk to people and leave the house, it's uncomfortable af but I can do it. Have you made any progress from when you first got this?

I'm sorry you feel the same way, but it is comforting that someone can relate. I'm just terrified of going insane or becoming a mental vegetable. Since the start of all this I have made lots of progress and like I mentioned, I'm living a fairly normal life on the outside but not on the inside ya know? I've gone through huge up and downs trying to recover. A few weeks I'm good and symptoms diminish but then I crash again with new symptoms. I'm soooo much better then I was the first few months but I just can't seem to shake it completely. I just can't imagine feeling fully function and normal ever again.

#516098 Recovered fully for a few months now... only one problem left

Posted by courtneyk on 29 October 2017 - 07:22 PM

I think with more time you'll start forgetting about it more and more. Just live life and distract. I'm having this problem myself but I'm not fully recovered. I think dpdr is so traumatizing for some of us it's hard to forget about it.

#514842 How dpdr affects time perception

Posted by courtneyk on 26 October 2017 - 06:50 PM

Hi friends!
Yes I'm still here but I'm still doing better all the time.
One thing that's bothered me lately is time. One of the first things that I noticed before I knew what was happening to me is that time felt like a blur. It was strange. Like time was speeding by. Now that same symptom is bothering me. I feel like time has been flying by and I can't seem to be content or in the moment either. I miss that normal living day by day feeling. It's causing me a bit of anxiety. Like life is just passing by and I'm not even in it fully to enjoy it. It's just strange and uncomfortable.
Anyone else experiencing/experienced something similar?

#514826 This condition is so STUPID

Posted by courtneyk on 26 October 2017 - 06:25 PM

Mine is worse in the car for that same exact reason! I remember telling my therapist that a few months ago. I agree, dpdr is stupid.

#514362 magnesium

Posted by courtneyk on 25 October 2017 - 11:11 AM

Hi what type of magnesium are yous taking ? Sounds good

I take a magnesium citrate but I think glycinete(sp?) is the best form for anxiety.

#511106 Acupuncture

Posted by courtneyk on 15 October 2017 - 10:42 PM

Hey friends! I haven't been on in a while but I did want to share my experience with acupuncture.
My dpdr was solely anxiety and panic induced. I've been trying my hardest for alternatives rather than medication so I decided to give acupuncture a try and I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone but I believe it's helped me some! I've done two appointments so far and I've felt a big release in my anxiety for days after my appointments and it's actually made me feel fairly good and help relieve the tension that I store in my body.

Might be helpful for my other anxiety induced dpers :)

#511082 It never changes!

Posted by courtneyk on 15 October 2017 - 10:20 PM

I really like this, thanks for sharing!

#499050 7 months!

Posted by courtneyk on 18 September 2017 - 06:49 PM

Hang in there friend! It definitely does feel like 70 years. We will get out of this eventually

#494602 Feeling better 99%

Posted by courtneyk on 05 September 2017 - 12:09 PM

I'm glad you're feeling better! One day you'll be writing a 100% recovery story. ;) Hope you continue to improve!