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Member Since 07 Feb 2017
Offline Last Active Jul 31 2020 04:00 AM

Topics I've Started

My mix got Insta heart from a Pro..

26 July 2020 - 05:26 AM

Hey yall. 


I am feeling a lot better and yesterday a Pro in LA liked my mix (I'm a sound guy/mix engineer), this has really uplifted me, I was wondering while the Irons still hot if anyone fancies checking the mix out via insta to soundcloud, feel free to add both!


insta/clivekennedy (the video is a picture of a beach near my home)


Have a great day x

Books to work with a therapist?

20 May 2020 - 06:56 AM

Has anyone found material that you work through with a talk therapist? I've got some books but none in that style. 


I guess my idea would be like: 


1. Acceptance (Fill in this page, Do this, Do That in relation to acceptance) 


Bit like Holy Grail DP thread... 


any thoughts? 

Do you think my Cortisol levels directly linked to DP?

24 February 2020 - 02:39 PM

I've researched many cases, but people don't show my constant levels when it comes to Cortisol that i've met here. I wonder if MY Dp is literally because as the picture i've included, I produce way too much cortisol all the time? 


Subtextual on reddit who is a Board Certified Neuropsychologist - ABPP/ABPdN explains it DP and Cortisol (https://www.reddit.c..._levels_affect/)


"there are a bunch of ways the cortisol production system could be dysfunctional in individuals who experience chronic depersonalization. They might produce too much cortisol all the time, or they might produce too much in response to a stressor, or they might have trouble "turning off" cortisol once the stressor is gone, or getting rid of the excess cortisol in the brain after a stressor has passed. Or other parts of the system could go wrong.


There are conflicting data on the relationship between depersonalisation and cortisol levels, with two studies (Morozova et al, 2000; Stanton et al, 2001) reporting low salivary cortisol, but another (Simeon et al, 2001a) finding raised plasma cortisol. 


I already know from tests I have HPA dysfunction. 


"The HPA-axis; hypothalamus --> pituitary --> adrenal to release a bunch of hormones, including cortisol. The release of these hormones causes the fight-or-flight reaction people get in response to a stressor. For example, adrenaline, another hormone released in this process, elevates your heart rate and blood pressure." 


https://i.imgur.com/Y4OSECq.png <--- Picture of my Cortisol


As you can see, i'm not a little off the chart, i'm way off it, all the time as noted by specialists who have never seen such results. I'm thinking this might be the cause of my DP, thoughts?

Medications/Mistakes I hear a lot

27 November 2019 - 10:45 AM

I am not a doctor, but do get a lot of emails, PM’s etc, I know people who have recovered, yada yada yada. I just want to point out a few things when trying medications that I’ve learnt or hear a lot.


1. "It didn't work for this 1 friend I know" (remember we are all different), I know people recovered on medications I’ve hated. I'll not even mention them to put you off!


2. Someone got this side effect, i'm scared to take it. Well this is part of trial and error, again we all respond different. If it's not working tapper off with your doctor, but you won't know if you don't try. Also read the side effects, their side effect could be in a small percentage. 


3. Antidepressants or Antipsychotics don’t work after trying a couple, there are so many and vastly depends on the person.


3. Going against the grain, there are a lot of medications, but i'd at least start with ones that are known to give results, I’ve listed some below in order of common to least (not most effective). The most common i'd say on this site is; AS + AD combo, get one working first IMO then add the other and see how you fair. 


4. Having a P Doc who doesn’t know what DP is… kind of useless IMO unless they are actively researching. Dissociation is not rare, if that word is foreign to them, i'd not bother, took me 8 to find one I liked. 


5. Having a P Doc who works with you, not against and is always thinking, which leads me to my main point, knowing when to stick or twist. Only recently I got a message from someone being an SSRI for two years with no results, going to a P Doc every 3 weeks! That’s nuts if you ask me. Defiantly the time to change medications, I wouldn’t give anything personally more than 5 months with no results with increases. I on the other hand have been in a position where I changed meds too quickly due to other health reasons (had to stop everything to rule it out), unfortunately the same medications no longer have any affect on me, not even a little, this phenomenon is actually common.


I want people suffering from Anhedonia to read Ken Gillams Ad Algorithm. It’s multiple choice. I have tried enough meds to know how I react so mine works out like the following but yours will vary or if you have no point of reference I’d go with his option A for each step.



(what I am going to try based on the algorithm)

Step 1 – Nortipyline 6 weeks

Step 2 – (if needed) add Citalopram with Nortripyline 6 weeks

Step 3 – (if needed) add Amisulpride 6 weeks

Step 4 – (if needed) stop Citalopram, wait two weeks and add Tranycpromine with Nortipyline (Amisuplride depending on results).



I’ve also drawn up a quick list of the most common from being here a lot and if I was starting again, what order I’d do it in, but as mentioned, AD’s + AS’s are so wide and so many, I’d spend a long time ruling out those.


Do not source these yourself, it goes without question, even ADHD meds are lethal if you don’t know what you are doing, having your heart checked etc but perfectly safe when under professional guidance. 


1a) AD's (SSRI's/SNRIs): 








1b) AS:






2) Lamotrigine often paired with SSRI (see Kings College study)


3) Naltrexone – opiate antagonists (see Russian Study)


After 3 it’s a wild card if you ask me, much less common but worth knowing about;


Keppra (Anti Convulsion) – Study that it works in some HPPD cases

Wellbutrin (Dopamine) – Usually paired with AS

Pregabalin (Anti Convulsion) – Usually paired with AD

Modafinil (Light stimulant) 

Vyvanse (Stimulant)

Sulpiride – MIO – Haven’t researched as it’s rarely given out here

Suboxone – Opiate – Near impossible in UK


The best way I’ve found to try so many medications is printing of cases where it has worked and studies. 


Hope this helps.

High Adrenaline, High Cortisol.. but can't seem to fit into any box..

30 October 2019 - 12:48 PM

I think my DP is secondary to my high adrenaline and high cortisol, anyone else had these tests? anyone relate?


TLDR at the bottom. Thanks in advance. 28, Male, 182cm, 18 stone (was 12 previously), White, Duration 4 years/5,

Current medications; Xanax, Doxazosin, Escoltapram (Tried 30 + mediations listed below)

Smoke lightly, drink to crash this wired existence once a week.


Complaint: Stimulated beyond belief 24/7 until after many days no sleep and stimulation, I crash. Sweating, tremors, fatigue, weight gain, dilated pupils, adrenaline rushes, bladder shrinkage, depersonalization, anxiety, depression, etc.


The above makes sense, as my Cortisol and Adrenaline is high, but WHY? Endo's and physiatrist can't work it out either. They have both said anxiety disorder would not make the levels I have. 


I've spent 4 years, many thousands and free health care, everyone agrees it's extreme (been hospitalised etc) but no one on earth seems to know what it is. I've had had EEG's, MRI's, CT's, Endo's, P Docs, Cardiologist, GP's.


Ruled out: Phaeochromocytoma, Cushing's, Thyroid Glands (CT + Bloods), Adrenaline (CT + Bloods), Bipolar, POTS (tilt test etc), Autoimmune disorders (Bloods etc). Amongst many other things.


Now, after 4 years what we know on paper is my adrenaline is high, "Plasma adrenaline – HIGH - rose to 568 above the normal range of 0-459 No nocturnal fall – On the 24-hr BP/HR autonomic profiles mean daytime BP was 133/92 and HR 88, without the expected nocturnal fall. Worse when standing, The BP was elevated at times when he was polysymptomatic, the highest being 162/101 when standing. No evidence of autonomic failure".


We also know that every time I do a urine test for Cortisol it is above the range slightly.


But we can't pin this to anything, for instance as well as being stimulated I am now allergic to pseudoephedrine and ADHD stimulants, which they tried amongst many other things to see how I'd react. One doctor said I seem "Angernegic" but couldn't label me with any condition, my own GP is now reading about Adrenaline Fatigue, as he said the other something like "I never believed it was a thing until I've spent 2 years on your case".


Waiting on Spit test this upcoming week for:





Medications tried: 


No change:


Lithium (Highest dose), Melatonin, Depakote, Quetiapine (50 to 800mg,), Lamotrigine (couldn’t tolerate), Olanzapine 20mg, Buspirone /Promethazine/Buspirone/ Diphenhydramine (makes my heart jump) Mirtazapine, Zopliclones (15mg), Zoloft.


More Wired/Stimulated:

Elvanse, Backlofen, Phuesdephridrine (Sodafed), Guanfacine, Coffee, Clonidine

Descriptio Clonidine


Slightly helpful: Propranolol 80mg for shakes, Clonazepam


Sometimes lower stimulation for a few hours;

Xanax, Doxazosin



High Corisol and Adrenaline in urine and blood respectively, what could I have that isn't ruled out (Phaeochromocytoma, Cushing's, Thyroid Glands (CT + Bloods), Adrenaline (CT + Bloods), Bipolar, POTS (tilt test etc), Autoimmune disorders (Bloods etc).