Leah87

I am recovering myself by don’t giving too much a fuck about life, like stop being ocd about stuff in life, taking better care about myself and having lots of fun, I go dance more and do the things I love!, playing the violin and piano and singing!

I AM 99.9% OUT, THANKS TO THE IDGAF WAY OF LIFE, AND TO ENJOY MY LIFE LIKE TOMORROW I WAS GOING TO DIE, BUT IN THE BEST POSITIVE WAY, RIDE A BIKE, FALL IN LOVE, TAKE LONG WALKS, BE A KID AGAIN, ENJOY THE RAIN, ENJOY THE SMALL GIFTS OF THIS EXISTENCE, IF WE ARE GOING TO DIE SOME DAY, AND DEATH IS A NEW BEGINNING, WHY TO WORRY ABOUT IT?, BE READY FOR THE WAR AND PEACE. BLESSINGS.

Hello everybody!, long time since I wrote my last entry here, has been a hell/heaven trip for me with this DP/DR, I made some good friends from this site, helps a lot talk to people who understand what's going on, because they been there too or they are recovering from that as you do. Well, since last December 23 when I got this, many things has changed, specially my perception about my own existence and my connection with G.d. I believed this happens for a special reason, we need to change our lives in order to get better, first I started my recovering practicing meditation, eating more healthy, less meat, grains and more veggies, no fruits because the natural sugar does not help with the anxiety, I quit permanently to nicotine, white sugar, artificial sugar (present in drinks and industrialized "foods"), Teas and any caffeinated drink, coffee and all kinds of drinks that contain parts of caffeine, I started slowly a detox diet free of this components and free of wheats and certain foods that out bodies really don't need and that cause high oxidation and leave traces of poisons like animal meats. It's hard because I was very used to eat alll kinds of crap, even when I'm Jew and I'm kosher observant. After months in this low copper - detox diet, I started noticing that I can be calm better and I don't have this obsessive stupid thoughts that scared the shit of me, like "I have a brain!", "I'm thinking with a brain inside mi head", "why I have this mental voice with what I talk to" referring to the normal voice of your conscience, " if this is not real life, maybe we are in some kind of thing like the movie Matrix" 🙄 Yeah pure BS that keep me worried, my anxiety high, stressed out and exhausted 😩. Well, this was a great improvement from the hell i lived the following months when I got this, also I started taking L-Theanine, D Vitamin, Omega 3-6-9 and HTP-5, which in combination helped me to maintain my calmness, but this things are not a fast cure, just help to keep going and improving the conditions. I think I'm 80% cured from this, last night while I was watching tv I had so much anxiety after cheat on my diet and having a small coffee, and the strange thoughts came back and the detachment, so I proved caffeine does not help at all, and makes the levels of copper in your brain to go high and then the electrical connectivity of your neurons go weird and unstable, the calm came back today and I learned to don't cheat on my diet if I want to get back my whole perception of reality and life. Im still improving day by day, the love of the ones I love has been really important, socialize and do the things I love too, makes me feel alive, not like some kind of zombie in this planet, I still have a lot to do, 5 months ago, when I got this after extreme stress, anxiety, sleep starvation and depressionand, I'm stlll fighting for myself because I love myself and I understand G.d let this happen to me because I had been really lazy and negligent with my life, and even when I do great in my job and my own business, I feel I can do better, and all the frustration, the sleep starvation, the bad habits, the depression and sadness, were the seeds of this DP/DR, I believe I can and I will, life is a miracle and this helped me to realize more about it, with feelings I never knew I could have, and roads I never thought I would be crossing. Don't lose your positive attitude, because we are the only responsible soft our own recoveries.

Yes it's, this existential hyper awareness is part of the symptoms. Quit that.

First of all Eddie, you need to start leaving your depression and give yourself some credit, you will see how this can make deep changes in your life and your recovery. I send you a hug!!!

I feel happy, full of hope, love, confidence. I feel amazing!, this can't beat me and I will not let it win, the attitude is what 100% matters, because your mind rules your body. Cheer up people, leave the depression waters and get out, you will find the joy that cures, we are in a recovery path. I recommend take the Harris Harrington Total integration Method. At last give it a try!!! <3 !!!!