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bintuae

Member Since 17 Jan 2017
Offline Last Active Oct 12 2020 01:42 PM
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#618686 Medication making things worse?

Posted by bintuae on 14 June 2020 - 05:43 AM

Has anyone else tried taking medication to treat their DPDR but getting on and off meds only made it way worse? About a year ago I tried taking medication (zoloft/lamotrogine) to treat my dpdr symptoms and it helped immensely with certain symptoms like anxiety but made the feeling of things seeming unreal almost worse. After taking these meds for a few months I decided to ween off of them over the course of about 2 weeks and that's when my dpdr skyrocketed into a different dimension. I spent about 5 months in a different world almost as if I smoked DMT and just left earth. It literally felt like I was on every psychedelic there is at the same time while an atom bomb was dropping on my head lol. I've now been off meds for about 8 months and things are still kind of trippy but not nearly as bad as they used to be. I've actually noticed subtle improvements every single day consistently for the last 8 months which gives you an idea of how crazy things must have been.

 

I haven't heard much talk of people experimenting with meds and making their situation way worse. I had no idea it was so risky to try to them and I'm starting to wonder if I just weened off the meds too quickly or if this is normal. I believe there's a couple reasons I'm seeing consistent progress every day and expect to be fully recovered within a matter of weeks (at about 90% recovered right now). The first reason I believe I'm recovering is just because of time. If I do nothing special to recover I still notice improvements because my brain is still "sorting itself out" from the damage that getting on and off meds caused. The second reason is because I have a daily cardio routine where I ride my road bike for 2 hours every single day. This daily habit was inspired after reading this post here https://www.dpselfhe...e-cure-to-dpdr/

 

On a side note what's interesting is dpdr seems to have so many different "states" or dimensions. A year ago before I ever started taking meds things were just kind of foggy and I was in fight or flight mode 24/7. Everything was always perceived as a threat and I was stuck in my "lower self". While on meds I had no anxiety anymore which makes sense given the meds I was taking, but after getting off meds I still had no anxiety despite all the other dpdr symptoms being at 100/10. Right now, 8 months after getting off meds, I'm about 90% recovered and there's no anxiety and I don't have blurry vision anymore. I just have a couple weird symptoms where things look "unfamiliar" and the "perceiver" in my head feels kind of wavy and out of wack.

 

This disorder is a beast to overcome and I have so much empathy for anyone on their journey to overcome it as well. I've had it for a total of 3 years now (ironically triggered from getting off zoloft back when I was taking it only for anxiety/depression) and in the last 3 years I've probably suffered more than the first 25 years of my life leading up to that point. I pray that an actual cure comes along soon and we don't have to needlessly suffer anymore. I wish you all the best, god bless.

 

Yes. I never tried zoloft but I did many antidepressants in combination with Lamictal, not at one time of course (Paxil, Prozac, Trintellix, Pristiq, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin). Each one of them except for Lamictal made dp/dr much worse. Cymbalta and Prozac were especially bad. I felt as if I was high very dissociated and like existing somewhere else. I'm still looking for the magic pill though.

 

oh btw like you, my dp/dr was triggered from getting off paxil 5 years ago when I was taking it only for social anxiety. 




#611172 Hello, recovered a few times from this and now back at it hahaha

Posted by bintuae on 18 December 2019 - 05:48 AM

If u read my last post here, i was extremely depersonalized for about 1 and a half year with AAAALLLL the symptoms, and then begin a slowly recovery so..
It was like this, i recovered like 4-5 times from anxiety.. first 4 times dpdr didnt even bother me, i didnt even obo what it was but last time from
From march 2016 to june 2017 it was crap, everything fake blah blah, after that from winter of 2017 to winter of 2019 i almost cured perfect my anxiety and my dp, it didnt even bother me, it was there but show only when i was stressed, didnt even think about it for days, and because i forgot how bad this felt i begin to stress again, without realising that i will get this shit again, didnt even think about it until octomber this year when i felt again like crap
And now, i have again all the symptoms, all the anxiety
I feel fear, feat of fear, i dont know how to say this, i fucking know that i get over it a few times, even when it was HELL, i beat it, but now im fucking scared again
I cant control my feelings, i mean when i get this fear out of nowhere omg it feels like hell.. it last for 1-2-3-4 hours but in the evening its better, i dont feel anxiety that bad
This fear is anxiety right? I dont remember how was in 2016-2017 lol.. im so anxious that now i believe its worse and i will have this fear and anxiety all my life but i swear to god deep down i believe in me
Also my moods this last 1-2 months was crap, like up and down up and down during the day...
do u also experienced or experience this fear? And this mood swings to say like this.. i mean a few hours to feel without anxiety and fear and feel like u can beat this and the next hours to be scared like u cant and full of fear?!
Thanks
And sorry for my english, its not my native

 

This is not a recovery story and so shouldn't be posted in this section.  




#605438 Why is weed commonly a trigger?

Posted by bintuae on 26 August 2019 - 07:07 AM

Weed is in a way a dissociative drug, so being a trigger for dp/dr makes sense. Personally, I find anything that targets dopamine or makes me high or even semi high, to be extremely bad for my dp. I just enter a different state of zombie like consciousness. 

 

Maybe we just have sensitive brains 




#604996 Keep feeling i fucked up my head and life

Posted by bintuae on 18 August 2019 - 06:27 AM

I also always think I have ruined my brain with all the antidepressants and with stopping them abruptly several times and because of all the alcohol and sometimes week I smoked etc.

 

but I doubt it . my psychiatrist said I didnt ruin anything . he said the problem is that when you stop taking the meds the starting anxiety and depression will just turn back . and I think it turns back way worse but it will probably lower itself after some time

 

I dont think you ruined anything with weed either . I mean you are not even schizophrenic because of the weed (no you arent and no you wont be . and even schizophrenia is treatable ) . it just made you more anxious and depersonalized but that will go away . you just have to do something against it and also give your brain time to "recover"

 

First, you shouldn't give your full trust to pdocs. In some cases they're clueless. when it comes to dp, it only becomes more obvious how it's true.

 

Second, I've never been the same person ever since I stopped taking antidepressants 5 years ago. I have developed new illnesses like depression (apathetic), moodiness, physical pain, sexual dysfunction and many more and I'm STILL suffering from them till this day. How do you explain this? Can you even imagine that I started back on antidepressants just to treat the depression and those other issues which I never had before?! 

 

Many people think it's the original depression or anxiety returning back strong after antidepressants, BUT there are people who never had depression or panic attacks before or issues with sleep or sexual problems, then they suddenly develop these shit after taking ADs! The lines get blurred when you have the same illness coming back and you may not realize that the worsening (than the pre-drug state) is actually induced by the drug itself, which had created a chemical imbalance that wasn't there in the first place. 

 

Also, not all sufferers of dp have anxiety or depression, some feel emotionally numb. On paxil (an ad to treat anxiety), depersonalization is literally written as a possible side effect and other meds too. While there are those who have improved with time, butmost never found themselves getting back to 100% as they used to be pre-drug. like a physical wound it may heal but it will still leave a scar




#595676 Feel like I'm forgetting how I used to be, and in turn what my symptoms a...

Posted by bintuae on 16 January 2019 - 04:17 AM

The reason why you don't remember how you used to be is cuz you're in the thick of dp and from how long you've been in such state, it became your way of life. So let me remind you. When you wake up from this nightmare, these are the things you'll most likely feel:

 

- Everything looks colorful, lively and rich

- You feel shocked and in awe at how life can be so much different without it. It's like you were born again

- You can see through the dp and realize how stupid dp is. You may wonder how such a thing even exists

- You feel like you've joined the human race again. It's very easy to connect with people. You focus on the actual conversation and nothing else

- You feel very happy that you're dp free but then feel scared because you're facing reality once again. You realize there are so many things you have to do

- You feel strong self identity. You don't only feel your own presence, but the presence of animate and inanimate objects too. You and your body become one. You gain control of yourself and life. It's like you broke free and the evil imaginary person who you had been a puppet to, had disappeared

- Suddenly everything has significance and value to it

- Healthy range of emotions makes you very engaged with everything in life. You're an active participant not an observer

- You can focus your eyes. You can focus on whatever you want. There's no longer brain fog.

plus many other things I can't recall for now.




#595670 Having trouble relating my symptoms to other people's

Posted by bintuae on 16 January 2019 - 03:32 AM

I am currently taking Effexor for depression as well, but so far am feeling not much relief even though I've been taking it for over a year now. I am also taking trazedone for sleep but it causes nightmares and I am now taking Klonopin for anxiety which does help I think. I am currently getting ready to change doctors because the psychologist I am seeing now doesn't understand anything I am going through with the DP and DR and keeps saying I must have had a traumatic experience happen to me like abuse growing up even though I keep telling him my parents were very loving and did not abuse me. I'm certain of that. but he won't believe me. icon_rolleyes.gif

My psychologist kept saying it must be trauma as well along with my pdoc. I know it's not. The techniques she used didn't help one bit. Dp can be the result of many psychological illnesses. Drug use and head injury can trigger it too




#595264 Fully recovered with medicine. Please read

Posted by bintuae on 09 January 2019 - 05:06 AM

I agree with Anitas. In my case, psychiatric drugs were what triggered this shit (somehow)!




#589658 Thinking of trying meds

Posted by bintuae on 01 September 2018 - 04:20 AM

I took klonopin and it made my blank mind even more blank and the numb emotions even more numb. but as a sleep aid, it works great.




#572634 Are you able to be in a relationship with DP/DR?

Posted by bintuae on 23 April 2018 - 03:05 PM

I didn't know dp affects relationships. I've been texting this guy I met online with no intentions to date, but I see myself very interested in him (he's interested in me too) and I'm not able to let him go. That said, I'm not sure if I even have any feelings of love towards him. It's so weird. like I want him but I can't feel love. I write "I love you" to him but it feels like a lie. I don't know what to do. How can I meet him feeling like this? 




#567449 Can we all agree that DR is worse than DP?

Posted by bintuae on 03 April 2018 - 04:27 AM

For me, DR is much much worse than DP. When I had dp only yes i felt dead with no emotions, but I was at least able to function, able to communicate with people. I perceived things as real and thus gave them importance.

With DR, I'm stuck in this thick brain fog, confused, and in a dream state 24/7. Not only I feel unreal but The whole world feels unreal too including, people, living things.and objects. I feel so detached from the environment I don't want to talk to anyone anymore. It freaks me the hell out. I also can't concentrate. 

 

See which one is worse:

 

https://www.google.a...iCIvEzhtypNUzM:




#565401 why does this cause cognitive issues?

Posted by bintuae on 25 March 2018 - 05:52 AM

Kiwi 89- I think it was a withdrawal symptom and that strangely enough got worse when returning to the antidepressants I was on. I find drugs that target serotonin to be EXTREMELY bad for dp/dr . it could be because they tend to shut off emotions. I've tried Paxil, Prozac, Lexapro. I felt like a zombie. The worst one out of these 3 was Paxil. I also tried an SNRI, Pristiq, I found it to be bit less worse than SSRIs. 5-10% less maybe. What I don't understand is why I'm still left in this worse state than when I started even after quitting these drugs??? 

May I know what were the last 2 meds you've tried? 




#563673 why does this cause cognitive issues?

Posted by bintuae on 18 March 2018 - 11:29 AM

I too have brain fog. It was caused by antidepressants. First, I lost my emotions which resulted in dp, then I got brain fog which resulted in dr. With each drug trial this got worse and worse. even after quitting, I'm left in this worse state. I have a degree in journalism but I can't write AT ALL ever since getting this shitty disorder. If I do write, its like kindergarten level. Dr for me is worse than dp. I don't know what to do anymore. 




#561817 Feel like I'm losing myself inside

Posted by bintuae on 11 March 2018 - 03:14 PM

I have blank mind. can't hear my thoughts. No internal voice. I think my dp/dr isn't related to my thinking because even if im engaged in something, I still feel so detached..




#561809 CURED my DP and Empty Mind after treatment of my Thyroid Dysfunction

Posted by bintuae on 11 March 2018 - 03:07 PM

But I don't have symptoms of thyroid dysfunction. done blood tests and results came back normal. 




#549330 I did something insane two nights ago

Posted by bintuae on 27 January 2018 - 04:11 AM

This is freaking scary. hope you feel better now.