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bintuae

Member Since 17 Jan 2017
Offline Last Active Oct 12 2020 01:42 PM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Medication making things worse?

14 June 2020 - 05:43 AM

Has anyone else tried taking medication to treat their DPDR but getting on and off meds only made it way worse? About a year ago I tried taking medication (zoloft/lamotrogine) to treat my dpdr symptoms and it helped immensely with certain symptoms like anxiety but made the feeling of things seeming unreal almost worse. After taking these meds for a few months I decided to ween off of them over the course of about 2 weeks and that's when my dpdr skyrocketed into a different dimension. I spent about 5 months in a different world almost as if I smoked DMT and just left earth. It literally felt like I was on every psychedelic there is at the same time while an atom bomb was dropping on my head lol. I've now been off meds for about 8 months and things are still kind of trippy but not nearly as bad as they used to be. I've actually noticed subtle improvements every single day consistently for the last 8 months which gives you an idea of how crazy things must have been.

 

I haven't heard much talk of people experimenting with meds and making their situation way worse. I had no idea it was so risky to try to them and I'm starting to wonder if I just weened off the meds too quickly or if this is normal. I believe there's a couple reasons I'm seeing consistent progress every day and expect to be fully recovered within a matter of weeks (at about 90% recovered right now). The first reason I believe I'm recovering is just because of time. If I do nothing special to recover I still notice improvements because my brain is still "sorting itself out" from the damage that getting on and off meds caused. The second reason is because I have a daily cardio routine where I ride my road bike for 2 hours every single day. This daily habit was inspired after reading this post here https://www.dpselfhe...e-cure-to-dpdr/

 

On a side note what's interesting is dpdr seems to have so many different "states" or dimensions. A year ago before I ever started taking meds things were just kind of foggy and I was in fight or flight mode 24/7. Everything was always perceived as a threat and I was stuck in my "lower self". While on meds I had no anxiety anymore which makes sense given the meds I was taking, but after getting off meds I still had no anxiety despite all the other dpdr symptoms being at 100/10. Right now, 8 months after getting off meds, I'm about 90% recovered and there's no anxiety and I don't have blurry vision anymore. I just have a couple weird symptoms where things look "unfamiliar" and the "perceiver" in my head feels kind of wavy and out of wack.

 

This disorder is a beast to overcome and I have so much empathy for anyone on their journey to overcome it as well. I've had it for a total of 3 years now (ironically triggered from getting off zoloft back when I was taking it only for anxiety/depression) and in the last 3 years I've probably suffered more than the first 25 years of my life leading up to that point. I pray that an actual cure comes along soon and we don't have to needlessly suffer anymore. I wish you all the best, god bless.

 

Yes. I never tried zoloft but I did many antidepressants in combination with Lamictal, not at one time of course (Paxil, Prozac, Trintellix, Pristiq, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin). Each one of them except for Lamictal made dp/dr much worse. Cymbalta and Prozac were especially bad. I felt as if I was high very dissociated and like existing somewhere else. I'm still looking for the magic pill though.

 

oh btw like you, my dp/dr was triggered from getting off paxil 5 years ago when I was taking it only for social anxiety. 


In Topic: I feel empty : Depression or Depersonalization ?

16 April 2020 - 11:06 AM

 

Good evening everyone,

 

       First of all, thank you very much to the people who take the time to read and help others on this forum. I hope to find an  help here, because I no longer believe doctors, psychologists for a long time. I'm trying to find the solution by myself. I also want to clarify that I am not an English speaker and that there may be some errors in my text.
 
To introduce myself, I am a young man who is 25 years old and I am currently experiencing permanent discomfort since the age of 15 and which has deteriorated over the years.
 
I have always been anxious by nature and my symptoms worsened during my adolescence but I lived with them.
Until my 20s, when I fell into the Cannabis trap. My first joints were indescribably happy, except for a few badtrips, but I continued to smoke. Cannabis allowed me to realize that I was living in permanent generalized and social anxiety.
 
I decided to consult a psychiatrist, I was prescribed Deroxat (SSRI). I started taking it while continuing to smoke cannabis. A few weeks later, the cannabis effect became a nightmare, no more feelings of well-being, repeated badtrips with extreme anxiety attacks. My heart was beating so much that I started to say goodbye to life. I continued hoping that the magic effect of the first times would return. Until the day I understood that I returned to a state of intense anxiety, depression, and maybe depersonalization.
 
Nothing was the same as before: weird perception of things, tired, apathy, anhedonia, nonexistent libido, very blunted emotions ,cognitive problem, head pressure, nose pressure (that make me sneeze constantly), heart beating all over my body.
 
 
I consulted, I searched on the internet/forums, I tried a lot of medicine, food supplements, plants, but nothing relieved me.
Any drug like alcohol or medication I was taking brought me no improvement.
The alcohol for example accentuated my anhedonia my lethargy. The impression that my brain was defending itself or that my dopaminergic receptors were damaged forever.
 
I continued to live with those symptoms, accepting them and trying to live normally, but it is very difficult.
I created a kind of self awareness, I am constantly focused on my body, on my head and nose pressure  (which becomes worse when I am lying down). And this physical discomfort does not help me to feel good or to meditate well. it creates a kind of frustration that creates anxiety.
 
But it’s mainly the anhedonia and the lack of emotion that I miss. My creative sense, my imagination, happy dreams, libido. I feel like I am anesthetized without a personality.
 
 
 
Today I feel like I'm getting used to living like this. I force myself to work, to move forward, telling myself that I would find the solution one day.
In recent weeks and with confinement, it has allowed me to refocus on my problems. I realize my youth slowly dies, I live without living, without being myself.
 
I certainly made a big mistake with cannabis. But I tell myself that cannabis only worsens symptoms that were already present.
This week I took a treadmill to exercise, my heartbeat all over my body bothers me a lot.
I no longer feel the happiness of endorphin release after sports.
On the contrary, I have the impression that it increases my anxiety. I continue and hope one day that will change.
 
I also started meditating but it's hard to stay awake and focused. But I force myself and I continue and I notice that when I redirect my attention sometimes to my feet or heart I have a slight feeling of well being which appears and disappears.
 
Now I can't figure out what I really have, whether it's depersonalization or anxiety with depression. But with depression you feel sad. I don't feel sad, I feel neutral, my emotions are anesthetized. I would like to feel sadness.
In fact I am constantly listening to my body that I am not connected to life which, moreover, seems dull.
 
If someone has already experienced my symptoms, can give me advice, guidance, I would be very grateful. Thank you also for taking the time to read my text,
 
Strength and courage in this difficult period, pay attention to yourself,
Wishing you a pleasant evening.

 

 

I've been experiencing this now for nearly 6 years. I never took cannabis but I did seroxat (for very long time). not sure what caused it for me but after the seroxat, I developed anhedonia, emotional and physical numbness, lethargy, no libido, no desire for the opposite sex, brain fog, dp/dr. I think the dopamine receptor is fuckd. 

 

FYI, depression doesn't mean only being sad, it can be emotional numbness or irritability. Also, dp/dr is rarely a condition by itself. Many people on here have it triggered by anxiety, or trauma, and there also who have it triggered by depression. One time, my symptoms suddenly lifted and strangely enough, dp/dr went away with it. I felt lively and like myself again. I could connect with people and things and stopped viewing the world in third person.

 

I'd say we most likely have severe drug-induced depression resulting in dp/dr. 


In Topic: I suffer from reccuring DP/DR: This is how I recover

06 March 2020 - 01:35 PM

i have never tried any other medication. No doctor I initially visited understood what DP was so I gave up

 

Then what made you consider taking a malaria drug?! 


In Topic: Hello, recovered a few times from this and now back at it hahaha

18 December 2019 - 05:48 AM

If u read my last post here, i was extremely depersonalized for about 1 and a half year with AAAALLLL the symptoms, and then begin a slowly recovery so..
It was like this, i recovered like 4-5 times from anxiety.. first 4 times dpdr didnt even bother me, i didnt even obo what it was but last time from
From march 2016 to june 2017 it was crap, everything fake blah blah, after that from winter of 2017 to winter of 2019 i almost cured perfect my anxiety and my dp, it didnt even bother me, it was there but show only when i was stressed, didnt even think about it for days, and because i forgot how bad this felt i begin to stress again, without realising that i will get this shit again, didnt even think about it until octomber this year when i felt again like crap
And now, i have again all the symptoms, all the anxiety
I feel fear, feat of fear, i dont know how to say this, i fucking know that i get over it a few times, even when it was HELL, i beat it, but now im fucking scared again
I cant control my feelings, i mean when i get this fear out of nowhere omg it feels like hell.. it last for 1-2-3-4 hours but in the evening its better, i dont feel anxiety that bad
This fear is anxiety right? I dont remember how was in 2016-2017 lol.. im so anxious that now i believe its worse and i will have this fear and anxiety all my life but i swear to god deep down i believe in me
Also my moods this last 1-2 months was crap, like up and down up and down during the day...
do u also experienced or experience this fear? And this mood swings to say like this.. i mean a few hours to feel without anxiety and fear and feel like u can beat this and the next hours to be scared like u cant and full of fear?!
Thanks
And sorry for my english, its not my native

 

This is not a recovery story and so shouldn't be posted in this section.  


In Topic: Medication making it worse?! Help

13 September 2019 - 09:47 AM

Sounds like you’ve figured it out yourself. Not sure why your pdoc’s opinion matters then (except that you need him/her to prescribe you drugs, of course).

But just to continue playing devil’s advocate, have you ever looked at a complete list of possible symptoms of depression? It pretty much contains any symptom you could possibly experience. But the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are pretty much the defining features of Depression.

 

Do you mean like it can contain experiencing delusions as well? What are those symptoms I listed then? Suicidal thoughts? Slow thinking and movements? Lack of energy? Loss of motivation and interest? Doesn't mean nothing to you? Of course, you don't know the answer yourself, do you? 

 

and btw I'm the most ANTI pdocs and ANTI psychiatric drugs you can ever find. and just so you know I've been fucked by antidepressants, SSRIs to be exact. They made everything worse in the long run. They GAVE me dp/dr and I'm not even able to stop taking them. this is why I continue to go to the damn pdocs. 

 

Also, I do my research not blindly trust pdocs. so when they first shared their claim, it's not like I instantly nodded my head in agreement. So, STOP treating me like one of those blind advocates and assuming things about me that are not true.