When i first started smoking weed many years ago, it was okay. Quite benign and a lot of fun. Somewhere down the line it caused massive paranoia and made me feel more edgy. I sometimes wish that I could smoke it up again, but I will never dare to do that.
eddy, your post couldn't resonate with me anymore. i did the same thing. i honestly think smoking weed two or three times as a teenager is probably harmless, but who is going to do it just 3 times. i used drugs to escape and because they were fun, and i totally regret it. addiction problems are why i have got dp/dr, although it wasn't addiction to drugs which i quit 5 years ago, but addiction to pornography and sex. i would still classify porn as a drug, only you are taking it in through the eyes and not putting anything into your body physically.
it wasn't worth it at all. i should have stuck to a pint with some friends and not tried to always bend the rules to fit my agenda. you couldn't have put it better really. and now i somehow need to feel normal again.
Quite true Chicane. I have truly stopped giving a fuck though and I don't mince my words anymore.
(not saying you are doing that, but i used to hold back alot. my life is so fucked that i don't have a choice tbh. I try and say it all. even then i go home sometimes regretting not saying more. perhaps i will get there in time. better do).
Sorry to hear this has happened to you Maxx, I have the same issue as you, and our other comrades who haven posted in the thread.
I also have loud tinnitus and know what its like trying to sleep with noise in your ears and nothing but darkness in your mind. I have found that it is much easier to distract myself from the tinnitus, which has got a bit quieter for me over time, compared to the blank mind. Blank mind for me is the worst. Are you getting any help with this from professionals? I was top student in neuroscience, so I know what it is like to loose everything - believe me, I have, including my reputation, job, money etc (though those were from before the dp set in, and not blank mind). Which country do you live in?
i know the depression-related feeling that comes with those kind of thoughts. like a fucking sadness because you think that you have reality for what it really is, and that a curtain or veil has lifted and what you see and feel is not exactly great or something to be thrilled about. It sounds like common dp, but i feel for you when you are going through this. i think if you have somebody to talk to face-face it would be great.
which rant? all i can see is a sentence. well, i echo your sentiments on such a level that i don't even know how to reply to you. if you ever ant to skype chat then message me.
the things that i have gone through in the last 2 years have wounded my soul or spirit (im not sure if i really believe in that, but just trying to show how deep it is gone). my quality of life, day-to-day suffering and pain is hard to put into words, so today i won't try to. as one human to another, i love you, and i hope that things get better.
Well, those are some interesting points about medication and the dangers of being on medications for too long, although I imagine that certain medications carry more of a risk than other ones. I think though that medication is a necessary tool for certain people - you will know if you are such a person. I don't think medications should be thrown out as a tool altogether, because there are people who recover with it. And if you have other conditions like OCD for example that are taking up all of your time and not giving you a second break from anxiety, then I would say talk to your doctor. We should always remember to post responsibly on here and stress this.
What she says from that article doesn't sound any different from CBT, and I am wondering if the Overcoming book written by the researchers of the DP Unit in London would confer the same benefits. In fact, it is CBT (well, leaning more towards behaviour therapy).
Having said that, from that article, it looks decent and probably can't do any harm. I am sure if applied properly it will help. As for getting rid of the blank mind....I am not sure. Let us know if it does. I think that could be more a chemical issue and need medication but I think that anything is possible and our minds would benefit from all the positive changes.
Yeah maybe to help find a purpose, but also to explore the pain behind you if that involves heavy emotional work. I think that is crucial to do with somebody unless you can manage to do it by yourself - I'm just giving my thoughts on it, i would always say it is better to do this kind of work in a therapeutic environment, but whatever works.
I am in the same situation as you bro. Total confidence and whatever lust for life that I did have...GONE. I don't know if this applies to you, but I am wishing not that I was dead, but that I could start my life over from even just a few years ago. I have gone through so much hell that I can't even put it into words. I'm fucked man. I'm just trying my hardest right now.