KurtCobain

I believe people with DP/DR experience ego death.
 

There always seems to be some underlying anxiety, and I often wonder why I am so anxious. I know I am anxious... but of what?

It's as though I have a 'fear to exist'.

I believe the notion of having a fear to exist is the result of unresolved ego death.  Basically, this fear should diminish once we have truly accepted and come to terms with living life through an objective lense....without an ego.

TL;DR:  I feel as though underlying anxiety that comes with DP/DR (aka the  fear to exist) is a result of unresolved/unprocessed ego death.

Ego death is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity." The term is used in various intertwined contexts, with related meanings. In Jungian psychology the synonymous term psychic death is used, which refers to a fundamental transformation of the psyche.

I've heard so many stories of people experiencing drug-induced ego death, where they feel like they have died and then become extremely anxious, and I realize this is the same phenomenon that those with DP/DR experience.  We may not feel 'dead' per say, but it feels as though a part of our psyche is missing and we are left feeling anxious. 

I hope this makes sense, and I wasn't too vague.

I thought this would be an interesting word association activity.

Exhausted, depleted, & groggy.

I can't properly visualise things in my mind, when I close my eyes I can think about things but I'm not actually painting a pictures of my thoughts.  My mother experiences this as well and I'm curious if it is related to depersonalization/anxiety.

Just curious to see how many people have difficulty having a job or going to school and don't really do much?

I've tried to hold down 2 jobs in the past year and I quit both of them because of the immense anxiety.

I'm enrolled in college, although I don't go to class often, because sitting in a small class with 15 other people makes me really anxious and uncomfortable.

I know depersonalization affects people differently, and with different levels of intensity, I'm just curious to see who else is in the same boat as me... where you aren't really doing too much because school/work is very difficult.

I've had days where I can't get myself to even go outside, nowadays I can, although there doesn't seem to be a whole lot that I am capable of, because of my anxiety.

For me, I love getting lost in music, usually I just keep something playing in the background, it makes me feel alive.

Also, there have been a few times in the past few months when I have been able to take a bit of a nap and enter a very light sleep for about 15-20 minutes, upon awaking I have been much less anxious and feel a lot better.

Lastly, I always have a sense of urgency and feeling like I need to rush everything I do, I find it helps me when I slow down and just focus on one thing at a time and really just try to do everything as calmy as possible.  When I do this I make an effort to release my pent up tension and just become okay with not being in a super adrenaline fueled state.  It can be rather difficult, but it's like im convincing myself that it is okay to not be super on edge and that it is okay to relax.