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MrFedUp

Member Since 11 Aug 2016
Offline Last Active Oct 16 2018 10:10 AM
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#589188 Please someone help me , I’ve felt drunk for 3 years !

Posted by MrFedUp on 23 August 2018 - 07:38 AM

Please someone help me .

I feel drugged / intoxicated / I’ll and have done for nearly 3 solid years 24/7 none stop. It’s a living hell I constantly feel I toxicated. Everything looks fake like a dream , and my brain feels like it over 100 years old.

I DO NOT have anxiety or depression.
I have been tested multiple times all my blood , MRIs etc are always perfect. I have tried multiple types of anti depressants and therapy. Nothing helps at all.

Please what can I do ?! :( I’ve lost all hope of ever getting better.


#549562 House of Commons talks about DP!

Posted by MrFedUp on 27 January 2018 - 11:44 AM

Fantastic news ! I will also send an email to the MP.


#541082 My theory of Depersonalisation after 3 years of suffering.

Posted by MrFedUp on 08 January 2018 - 04:47 PM

As I have now chronically suffered with this condition for 3 years I'm going to try and break it down and see if other people share the same view as me ? This is only my opinion which everybody is entitled to.

So I'm 22 years old - and when I was 19 years old is when it started gradually. When I was 19 my home life was very very stressful and had been for 3/4 years already so from 15/16. This was due to having a parent with both mental and physical health issues. I will not go into details - but for any 15-19 year old to see what I saw in those 4 years was like something from a horror movie. HOWEVER - as soon as I stepped out of my home no one would know what our family was going through. I went clubbing , on lads holidays and never really spoke about what I was going through.

When I turned 19, my dad had an operation which was supposed to fix his health which in part it did , but we then found out he was an alcoholic

. 19 also being the age in which my DP started happening daily and I felt "detached" and "not as clever/fast".

At this point I remember thinking " I can't do this anymore I've had 5 years of stress with my dad and it's a living hell".

Aswell as having my own health issues (heart problem) and also suffering from (chronic pain syndrome) which also started when I was 19 !

So when I was 19 something in my brain "flicked". My consciousness levels dropped considerably and I never woke up again feeling 100% alert.

My brain now wrapped in a protective layer ( as I imagine it). My emotions now NON Existant except one . ANGER.

Fast forward 2 years and after several different approach types such as medication , CBT, lifestyle changes and diet changes nothing has even made a dent . I wake up on a daily basis feeling like 75% of my brain is still asleep and never woke up. It never wanted to turn back on , it's shut down it can't cope anymore.


With this , I assumed a talking therapy such as CBT would help me , or mybe just sitting with a physcologist and Talking about my life and what I've exwoeriwnced would work. Maybe talking it out and re living what I went through. But nothing .


My brain switched itself of to protect it from any further emotional trauma. Now , I live with my girlfriend , have a job and nice house and a boxer dog. But nothing , I'm still on a 25% level of consciousness.

I feel drunk , dazed and spaced out. It's worse when I'm tired , in the dark , artificial lighting or driving.

I look fine , well , successful for my age and job , and look like I have a good life.

Someone somewhere MUST know how to get this reversed. To "flick the switch" back to being conscious. I can't even feel wind on my face when I'm outside Ffs.

And people say "just don't think about it it'll go" for me that's bullshit . It's deeper , much deeper. Some people on here must have a similar story to me , living this life is painful and sad.

I hope and pray one day a cure is found for this condition. This for me is not "life" this is "spectating" someone elses.

What makes it worse is when in the evening I'm sat so spaced out , it reminds me of my drunk father sat drunk and spaced out in the arm chair. It's like history repeating itself, except I haven't touched alcohol for 3 years.

One day we may get an answer. One day😭


#533178 2 years of 24/7 DP. Will I be like this for life ?

Posted by MrFedUp on 14 December 2017 - 11:15 AM

I remember when I was younger it happening to me maybe 5/6 times a year each lasting 2-3 hours then I'd be fine . But in 2015 I had a health scare with my heart, I also had a very ill dad who I lived with , he had to have a liver transplant in the end . Every day me and my sister and mum would get home to him acting drunk , or him collapsed on the floor , or hurling abuse at us because his liver was poising him making him seem drunk. Was a very very stressful time


#527546 DP discussion live on radio today!!

Posted by MrFedUp on 29 November 2017 - 09:19 AM

Listened to this ! I tried to call in but was to busy to get through. It actually made me cry listening to somebody talking about it on radio 2 and somebody else's voice explaing what it's like !!

However I wish she said something about the spaced out drunk feeling you also get with it. Maybe some people don't get that aspect of DP but it is my most potant one . The numb feeling to your surroundings like your drunk.

Oh well , fantastic that DP is now being talked about as it's own disorder and not "it's depression" !


#500786 SPACED OUT

Posted by MrFedUp on 23 September 2017 - 07:14 AM

It's driving me crazy 2 years now spaced out, it's so bad today I feel drunk again and I don't even drink. I feel like I look drunk to everyone too.

Any tips at all no matter how crazy to ease it off ?! :(

Feel like I'm on my 5th pint of beer :(


#486466 At the end

Posted by MrFedUp on 16 August 2017 - 02:52 PM

I haven't come here for self pity, or to argue, I feel I need to write to everyone of you brace people for your strength of living with DP/DR.

I have now felt "Drunk" / brain damaged / no short term memory / extremely spaced out and out of my body for 2 straight years. Over 700 days of feeling like that without any relief. I look fine to everyone , but am clumsy, have the cognitive functioning of a 3 year old and can't complete a simple task anymore. It's like I'm wearing a VR headset whilst on my 10th shot of vodka

I have tried many medications, many approaches with a CBT therapist and nothing just nothing works.

I have lost all hope of ever recovering now , nothing triggers it nothing makes it better or worse. It's just a 24/7 life of hell feeling mentally impaired and I can't do it anymore.

I think I will be checking in to a hospital, as I can not take this anymore , I don't understand how people who have had it for longer than me are still coping. Your stronger than me. I'm scared if I don't check myself in something will happen to me.

I've tried my best to live a normal life with it, but my old life is gone now and I accept that.

I won't be on here now for a long time I guess, and when / if I do come back on it'll be when I'm out of hospital or wherever I end up , I need to get well and my current approach does not work.

Keep fighting guys , I've tried but hit the end


#466522 Enjoying Depersonalization?

Posted by MrFedUp on 07 June 2017 - 08:43 AM

i feel high 24/7 i don't need weed at all. but i may try it one day again. I try all i can to enjoy my life but i don't have any motivations. I think all my desires were tied with my emotions, pain and history. I'm not connected to any of that. I'm functioning like before. but dp'ed. i never developed agoraphobia. i'm just scared of spiritual shit which i used to love before DP. Memory issues and fatigue are the worst.

private message me bud , I'm the exact same as you.


#465529 Life is like a ongoing movie without a pause button

Posted by MrFedUp on 04 June 2017 - 02:10 PM

Yes I can relate. My perception is that I am looking out of somebody else's eyes In a movie. The best example is if you have ever used virtual reality headset, that's my life constantly.


#451514 My biggest worry ...My altered consciousness will it ever be the same ?

Posted by MrFedUp on 19 April 2017 - 01:06 PM

I'm currently on holiday in a beautiful part of Spain, hoping the time away would help me chill out and relax. I do feel chilled out and relaxed ... along with feeling spaced out and drunk like I have done for the past 20 months !

My state of consciousness is so altered, when I'm awake and talking I'm not there I'm asleep or somewhere else... my body is present but my mind is gone :(

If I have been this way for 20 months how the hell will I ever be back to normal ?! My brain has forgot what normal consciousness is and I'm stuck constantly in a semi awake state.

Has anybody fully recovered from this after having it for so long ?! My life doesn't even feel like living at the moment I've spent a fortune to come on holiday and I may aswel be watching a VR YouTube video of Spain... my whole day to day life is me watching my life through someone else's eyes.

If any of you have seen the new horror film "Get Out" when he is hypnotised and he is stuck in the black space watching his body be used by someone else that is what this awful illness is like ....

Please someone tell me I'll be okay, I've lost all hope :(

3 months of duloxetne 30mg at the start I thought it was helping but does nothing now.


#445050 Drugged Drunk Feeling

Posted by MrFedUp on 30 March 2017 - 03:07 AM

I have absoloutley had it now, I would rather be dead than live this 'life' where I wake up feeling drunk / drugged. I sit up in bed and feel as though somebody has been injecting vodka into my veins all night. If I sit in the car and start driving, the fast moving environment messes my head up so much I feel as though I am tripping on drugs.

I know I am real, I feel real, and I know the world is real. I do not question things or existence, instead I just FEEL totally drunk and spaced out all the time. My eyes feel heavy, I am always tired, I have a very short temper, and by the time I get home at 5pm the drunk spaced out feeling is so bad, that I have to get into bed and sleep.

I have had so many tests which come back that there is nothing wrong with me. I go to CBT but it's not helping, I'm on duloxetine it does nothing, I have an easy job , a nice home dog and girlfriend and I can't cope anymore. Nothing triggers it or makes it worse just tiredness and driving sometimes.

I can't keep doing this, spaced out so strong and 24/7 it's no life , I tried to get help and no doctor takes me seriously. What is there left to do ?! I just want to give up it's like I've hit the end of the road after 20 month of trying to cope with this sh*t .


#442162 Different type of Derealization.

Posted by MrFedUp on 22 March 2017 - 08:34 AM

Mine makes me feel permanently drugged & drunk. I feel like I constantly have alcohol in my system and have to try and hide it. I feel like when I sleep I get drugged or something similar, like my brain is numbing itself.

"I" am not there Or present , my body is there but my mind and soul feels like it's somehwere else, but I don't know where. I just feel like a walking shell with nothing Inside of me.

When I take walks it's like I am sleep walking, nothing looks 3D, it's like my eyes are somebody else's like I am watching something on a VR headset.

Also I always wake up at night time extremely dissociated to the point that it doesn't even sound like my voice to me when I speak.

Suffered for 19 months 24/7 now and am currently on 30mg of duloxetine.


#442154 Do you feel drunk?

Posted by MrFedUp on 22 March 2017 - 08:09 AM

My dp/dr makes me feel drunk 24/7. When you walk outside when it's cold but you don't feel it because you are numb. I feel like I've had 3 pints and can hide it 24/7 had it for 19 months. As there are so many new members just wondering if anyone has the same sort of dp/dr as me ? Spaced out , drunk feeling constantly , worse when driving and tired , I have to go to bed at 9pm . If I wake in the night it's even worse I feel parallettic almost but look and can act fine.


#440098 Does driving make you space out more ?

Posted by MrFedUp on 14 March 2017 - 07:18 AM

Im always heavily spaced out but when I drive it makes it 100x worse , anybody else ? It's like my brain isn't fast enough to look at the fast moving scenery ?


#438386 If you start to feel better then think of DP does it come back

Posted by MrFedUp on 09 March 2017 - 06:43 AM

Hi guys,

 

Last night I was washing my car, and got really engrosed into it. After washing it, i stood back and looked and then thought "Wow I feel a little less spaced out and not as drugged up" Next minute as soon as I think of that BAM I felt very drugged and high.

 

Its like my brain is scared to be normal, or the FEAR and WORRY of DP/DR is what is feeding DP/DR!?

 

As soon as I thought I felt a little better the feeling came straight back!

 

Had it for 1.5 years now.

 

Its like I was reconnected when washing my car but I did not realize it. I only realized it once I thought "I feel a little better" then it came straight back,

 

anyone know what I mean?