ReiTheySay

Hey..

I wanna say the quarantine period & pandemic has been a roller coaster but it's been mostly lows.

I've learned I can be anxious in many many different ways! And my relationship with death (and loss) got strained again, and that old teenage depression and sort of despair somehow is here and very real.

It's been as if it's nearing the end of my life, it feels, whether mine directly or life as I know it. I'm scared of losing people I love.

Has anyone else been feeling this way?

Nobody I know at least shares these feelings and thoughts. Nobody is as cautious and worried as me either. It's been almost 5 months and it feels like I'm losing it.

Hey

As I try to improve and expand the areas in which I'm getting better & comfortable... I try new things I wasn't able to at the beginning

Looking at the mirror was so impossible for me. Now, it's OK. It's not the worst thing ever, not always, but most of the time.

But... let's saying dancing in front of a mirror for example, exhausts the fuk out of me.

I don't know why!

Maybe the reason is obvious... but I'm not as dissociating when looking at it, I guess I am dissociating but in a different, having coped, kind of way, that is milder,

yet

being a person and talking and dancing while seeing my reflection leaves me after with such an exhaustion as if I went on a hike

does anyone else with chronic dpdr relate?

does anyone else feel like they're weirdly stuck in that aspect?

Hello,

How is everyone doing lately?

I've been quarantining for over 35 days now (never left home once).

At the beginning it wasn't a big deal. Even though I'm an introvert going out every weekend to the beach or even getting things done is essential to me.

I've come a long way with DPDR, very gradually, getting to know how to manage it over the years, I've gotten to a point I don't know if I have DPDR or not (probably partially because another disorder took over, ha!)

Lately though, I noticed it lurking... I just recently graduated (and didn't get to apply for a job) and have no stable structure of my day...most of it I'm bored out of my mind to the point it feels so weird, *I* feel weird. Stuck at home.. without being able to imagine what future holds, it took away the dimension-ality of living or experiencing life/the presence.

I notice more than ever how future plans (even just having the option), help with me staying grounded, knowing where I stand.

How's it been for everyone?

Do you feel like this has been negatively affecting your DPDR? What's been helping?

One of DPDR's symptoms is impairment in 'emotional memory'. For example, for so long with DPDR I couldn't feel anything towards my mother. I'd look at her, and there's nothing. I rationally recognize it's my mom, but I don't feel anything towards her, at all.

It's no longer a symptom I struggle with, but I've experienced a weird thing recently.

My brother was driving me back home from the hospital one day, he took an unfamiliar, longer, road because it was less traffic. It was nighttime.

It felt weird. Like he wasn't my brother, or possibly a human, I had an unwavering feeling of being kidnapped. Maybe not kidnapped, but like he wasn't my brother, in a way something evil was going on, it felt, and the way the dark dimmed streets looked, felt like there was no existence of time, or my real life had actual relevance. Like we were in a tunnel in time and space.

I could not shake it off not matter what I did.

It honestly doesnt sound benign to me.

I did experience a similar feeling today going on a trip with my family but I think something distracted me before it could go on any longer.

Anyone experiencing something similar?

Has anyone been on Quetiapine before and switched to a new medication that works the same or better (not worsening dpd)?

I'm on it mostly for insomnia now and helps with anxiety. My concern is around the fact that it's not good for people with heart history or diabetes. I haven't been diagnosed but have a family history of both so who knows

So if you have any good experience with an alternative without drastic side effects -sounds impossible for antipsychotics but- share please