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My fight with existential and solipsism OCD


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#1 ivleo

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 03:52 PM

Hello everyone, my name is Ivan. I'm 17 years old, and I've posted on this forum many times. My OCD first manifested when I was 14: I was going through a particularly rough time in my life, but the compulsions were quite innocent and I wasn't even aware of them. Last year, my OCD exploded.. I started having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, which I managed to defeat by myself (woo-hoo!). Last summer, however, I began feeling strange...like I wasn't in my body anymore, like I was some type of ghost roaming around in this big big world. I became depersonalized, and with depersonalization came the existential thoughts. I started seeing a therapist, because I couldn't deal with them anymore. So far, I've had my ups and downs.. but the thoughts come back somehow. I'm exhausted, it all feels like an endless fight.. I can't enjoy my life anymore, because, what even is the point of all this? If everything could be fake, if everyone isn't really conscious and this reality is just a big simulation.. How do I accept that it could be true and move on? How do I get over solipsism and get my true mind back?

#2 PerfectFifth

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 04:29 PM

I can't enjoy my life anymore, because, what even is the point of all this? If everything could be fake, if everyone isn't really conscious and this reality is just a big simulation.. How do I accept that it could be true and move on? How do I get over solipsism and get my true mind back?

What is the point if it's not a simulation then? Tell me what practical difference does it make to you if it's a simulation. How does it have any more of a point or significance if it's not? It doesn't. You live, and then you die, and it won't matter either way. 

 

Just live, and take it for what it is. Let's say you're right, and it is somehow a simulation or "fake". Then what? Who cares? It doesn't change this experience for you whatsoever, so I don't see why you should care at all. Worse yet, you will never know the answer to those questions, so obsessing over them is a complete waste of time. You're worrying about something that makes no difference. Even if this was a simulation, it wouldn't diminish the experience for you.

 

And let's say that others were not conscious. Well, that wouldn't really change much either. You couldn't just go around killing people anyway because there are laws in society, and even if you somehow unlocked the knowledge that solipsism is true—don't worry; it's not—you'd still have to keep living normally unless you wanted to be locked up in prison. Yes, so who cares? There are actual constructive things to ponder and research instead of wasting time on this intellectual dead end. Solipsism is garbage. 



#3 ivleo

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 05:25 PM

The thought of being alone really bothers me,that's it.

#4 Where

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 05:54 PM

I am pretty alone, solipsism aside, and it does affect my feeling of purpose. Maybe basing my feeling of purpose on others is foolish, but I'm not sure there's an easy alternative. Frankly, I've become pretty run down by modern life and unsuccessfully managed psychological problems. Do you relate to this at all, Ivleo?

#5 Psyborg

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 11:36 PM

you are nothing special . yet you are special like every baby born into this world . think about this 

 

if you think that the conciousness of others doesnt exist and only yours does . then someone else could think the same and think that your conciousness doesnt exist . why would you be THE protagonist in the simulation ?



#6 ivleo

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 02:35 AM

I do relate. It's hard to be happy when you're aline (in any sense) and you don't have anyone to bond with and share your positive or negative experiences. We are social beings by nature, so saying that it wouldn't matter at all is kind of foolish in my opinion

#7 PerfectFifth

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:05 AM

I do relate. It's hard to be happy when you're aline (in any sense) and you don't have anyone to bond with and share your positive or negative experiences. We are social beings by nature, so saying that it wouldn't matter at all is kind of foolish in my opinion

Feeling out of place in modern society doesn't equate to having no one to share anything with. There are always others who feel the same way and whom you can relate to, even if the majority of people don't fit that bill. 

 

And yes, solipsism doesn't matter. You've been fine up until now, right? You've been socializing just fine. It's only now that there seems to be any problem that you've become obsessed with solipsism. Even if it were true, why would it have to matter? It hasn't thus far. 






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