I need help, i think im ruined - Discussion - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content


Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


Photo

I need help, i think im ruined


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 Emptyflask

Emptyflask

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 126 posts

Posted 02 April 2020 - 01:30 PM

I feel like im actually losing my mind. When you read thi, it probably will make no sense. When i got on here before, my biggest problem was existential shit. Im over that. I think im depersonalized or something again? I started really focusing on my inner experiance. Before, i could easily say "i deserve to feel good and have a good life". But i started focusing on my emotional world so much. I started not even being able to comprehend what these things are anymore. I see these feelings i am feeling but its like they are just there. When i focus on the way it feels, i can no longer say i want to feel it. Its just...there. Im like overly aware of things. I cant feel shit anymore. Before this i was obsessed with thinking that feeling nothing was the same as feeling good because its not feeling bad...that probably makes no sense because i soon realized, no because not feeling good means im feeling bad. Point is, i realized feeling good would be better than feeling nothing. But now it seems that feeling good or happy, even peaceful seems pointless. I think about the fact im alive so im aware and all that. I experiance things these things but they dont seem to be a part of me. When i think about being calm, it makes no sense anymore, its just a feeling or thing that is there in my perception and nothing more...feeling nice or positive doesnt even appeal anymore.


  • REB likes this

#2 AnnaGiulia

AnnaGiulia

    Regular Contributor

  • Moderators
  • 108 posts

Posted 02 April 2020 - 02:48 PM

Hey Emptyflask,

 

I read several of your recent posts. I really feel for you. I know how lonely it is to feel so detached. How confusing and dehumanizing it feels not to be able to reconnect to yourself or people around you. Just please remember that it is possible to feel again, in a meaningful way...perhaps at this moment it seems unattainable, but you will get there. You will feel as you again. Just hold on.

 

A.


  • REB likes this

#3 Respekta

Respekta

    Advanced Member

  • DPSH Members
  • 43 posts

Posted 02 April 2020 - 04:11 PM

I know what you mean. It´s the same for me and I was crying last night and my brain just asked "why are you crying?" and I knew exactly why I was crying but my brain just didn´t realize. It´s very weird to describe. I have those existential thoughts like 24/7 and I almost recoverd but now, due to isolation all seems so fk´d up in my brain.

I just hope, we can get over this somehow; I just wanna live again.. I will have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon and I don´t even know what to tell?! I mean, I know somethings off but with those existential thoughts I knew what it was but now I don´t even have the words to desribe whats off.. All is feeling so different and weird and I dont know how to describe it. Worst part is: I actually felt good like 6 weeks ago; I was feeling like 90% recovered and then corona hit my country and since then every day just feels worse and worse.. 

Is there anyone who recovered from this? I don´t wanna die, but living like this isnt an option either, so what should I do? Only thing which helps me is work, but now I won´t be able to work for like 3 months..



#4 Emptyflask

Emptyflask

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 126 posts

Posted 04 April 2020 - 10:40 PM

Has anyone gone through this and made it out? Like basically feeling that your emotions have no substance and that even happiness doesnt compute as something you WANT to feel because it seems unreal or fake in some way?



#5 Psyborg

Psyborg

    Great Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 420 posts

Posted 05 April 2020 - 06:27 AM

I was emotionally EXTREMELY numb . felt nothing 

 

why dont you try medication ? it helped me a lot 



#6 Emptyflask

Emptyflask

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 126 posts

Posted 05 April 2020 - 12:16 PM

I was emotionally EXTREMELY numb . felt nothing 
 
why dont you try medication ? it helped me a lot


I was on one for a bit but due to some circumstances, had to stop taking it but it was helping and hopefully ill be back on one soon. I just hope it helps. This problem seems totally unfixable. Ive like completely forgotten what feeling good or feeling bad even means.

#7 Psyborg

Psyborg

    Great Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 420 posts

Posted 06 April 2020 - 06:08 AM

I was on one for a bit but due to some circumstances, had to stop taking it but it was helping and hopefully ill be back on one soon. I just hope it helps. This problem seems totally unfixable. Ive like completely forgotten what feeling good or feeling bad even means.

 

I am taking Zyprexa/Olanzapine and it helps a lot 



#8 PerfectFifth

PerfectFifth

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 323 posts

Posted 06 April 2020 - 07:34 AM

But now it seems that feeling good or happy, even peaceful seems pointless.

Far from it. If you felt good right now, you wouldn't be in this predicament because those things are mutually exclusive. 



#9 Emptyflask

Emptyflask

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 126 posts

Posted 06 April 2020 - 11:50 AM

I am taking Zyprexa/Olanzapine and it helps a lot 

Thanks, ill consider asking my doc about that med to try.



#10 Emptyflask

Emptyflask

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 126 posts

Posted 06 April 2020 - 11:53 AM

Far from it. If you felt good right now, you wouldn't be in this predicament because those things are mutually exclusive. 

Yeah...i keep trying to tell myself something similar. Its like when i think of a feeling thats suppose to be good, it doesnt click in my brain that, that is something that i want to feel. Basically my ability to like something is gone.



#11 Psyborg

Psyborg

    Great Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 420 posts

Posted 06 April 2020 - 01:36 PM

I will say something to you now which will (hopefully , and I think it will) help you 

 

the fact that you are bothered by the situation you are in (otherwise you wouldnt have opened this thread) means that you have feelings and are actually an emotional person . 

 

the state you are in is an anormal state which will pass . feeling happy or sad etc. are still in you but they are eclipsed by DP/DR . 

 

I can tell you again that zyprexa does wonders for me . and I take only 7.5mg  . when you try it tell me how it goes because meds work different for everybody . in my experience if zyprexa doesnt help then seroquel can and vice versa . I was in the mental hopsital until not long ago for 3 months and talked about meds with other patients and those who gained weight on zyprexa for example didnt gain weight on seroquel . while I gained a lot of weight from seroquel but none from zyprexa and zyprexa fits me very well while seroquel was not so good 

 

there are many meds out there other than those 2 . and frankly even though I am not a fan of  medication in general I do think they have their place 



#12 LizFerret

LizFerret

    Advanced Member

  • DPSH Members
  • 49 posts

Posted 08 April 2020 - 07:02 AM

I was on one for a bit but due to some circumstances, had to stop taking it but it was helping and hopefully ill be back on one soon. I just hope it helps. This problem seems totally unfixable. Ive like completely forgotten what feeling good or feeling bad even means.






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users