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Imipramine (analogue of clomipramine)


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#25 forestx5

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 06:15 PM

If you have doubts about the origins of your unreality, I seriously recommend an EEG.  If it is negative, you have learned a lot.  My trauma at age 17 also occurred simultaneously with my 1st cannabis intoxication.

The cannabis may have triggered the seizures I experienced.  The cannabis may have mitigated the seizures so I did not lose consciousness.  One thing is certain....the cannabis confused the incident and

contributed to the inability of health professionals to render an appropriate diagnosis for 40 years.  I was mentally ill and living in fear and ignorance from age 17 to age 57, when I discovered information

that explained everything in minute detail.  I smoked the cannabis.  I experienced an epigastric aura, which is a lesser seizure that announces a larger temporal lobe seizure is pending.  I experienced 

the temporal lobe seizure with epileptic discharges every 4 or 5 seconds for about 3 minutes.  Each discharge was accompanied by dolly zoom hallucination.  When they were done, so was I.  I lost my emotions. 

I lost my libido.  I went sleepless for 2 weeks.  I developed agoraphobia.  I was a worst case scenario, according to the neurological texts, as my "post-ictal psychosis segued into an affective disorder of major depression". 40 years of focal temporal lobe seizures,

5 major depressive episodes, frequent ocular migraines, palatal myoclonus, depersonalization and derealization, etc. etc.  If I ever do write a book, it will be titled "Bigger Fish to Fry".

That is what a neurologist told me when he diagnosed my ocular migraines.  He never thought to give me an EEG.  The US wasn't that interested in the subject of migraine. The British were doing more research in that area.  I solved  my riddle by reading British neurological texts.

Now, epilepsy clinics routinely treat migraines, as the title of a recent British research paper explains "Migraine, the Borderlands of Epilepsy".



#26 Broken

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 06:24 AM

Yes I am tempted. I fainted whilst on marijuana and THEN woke up with blue lips, a drooping eyelid and a pale face (looked like a stroke). This was when I was about to vomit after eating the damn stuff so I also woke up with extreme abdominal pain.

 

Then half an hour after all this I had the typical panic attack. The only panic attack I've ever had. So it is a little confusing as weed was involved.

 

God that sounds awful, sorry to hear you went through all that. I have been fortunate never to have headaches. I am unsure about the epilipesy for me, it was something I wanted to investigate at one point and get an EEG. I think I will after I have been on Imipramine for a few months



#27 forestx5

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 07:45 AM

I should add that I did have an EEG at age 17.  My mother had less than a 10th grade education.  She got a GED and a job as a nurse aid at the hospital.  I never met with the neurologist.  My mother took the consultation 

and I got the info 2nd hand.  She told me my EEG was normal "with one lead off".  I ask her to explain and she went on about the expense of psychiatric care and begged me not to "crack up on her".  So, that began my journey.

When I got my own EEG done at age 57, the neurologist stated there were problems with my EEG..  So I said - let me guess.  I have a lead off and it is the lead to my left temporal lobe.  The neurologist looked at me oddly and 

said...yes. So, why did my mother lie to me?    My younger brother gave me the answer to that question.  Shame.  He overheard my mother and father discussing my EEG results at the kitchen table.  My mother assumed my

brain damage was from an incident in my youth.  My parents locked me in the family car while they visited someone in the hospital.  I was told they would be only 15 minutes.  After an hour and 45 minutes, I became worried

for my parents.  I figured out how to unlock the car door and crossed the street in the dark.  I was hit by a car.  My head broke the car's headlight.  All I remember of the incident is someone asking for a blanket for me.

I don't believe I ever received treatment for that injury because my parents were ashamed of their poor judgement in leaving me unattended in the vehicle.  I was maybe 6 years old at the time.  Hard to believe that incident

would sentence me to 40 years of undiagnosed mental illness. Normal with one lead off is like being a little pregnant. What did I know?  And, while I was treated inappropriately by psychiatry for 30 years, I never felt

I had a "behavioral" illness.  Mental illness is  not misbehavior.   I  have no criminal record.  I am an honorably discharged veteran. I worked for a living, I paid my taxes and my dues.



#28 Broken

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 10:13 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. Weirdly at the same kind of age (I know I was younger than 10 anyway) my mum hit me very hard on the right side of my head. She wasn't a bad mother it was just a perfect storm of incidents and she over reacted. I flew right across the room and think I dissociated.

That as well as a very traumatic youth as well as the cannabis. And then fainting. There are so many factors to consider but I wish physical causes were ruled out. I think the 'leading centre' in London Kings college has been overtaken by the psychologist Elaine Hunter.

I was promised an MRI when I signed up for over a thousand pounds which never happened. I saw a shrink but he was quite clearly no specialist in depersonalization.

They used to do good work there objectifying dpd. Shame to see it go down the therapy route. I'm sure there are many there with physical causes, but hey as long as Elaine is getting here £200 an hour therapy going. I see right through her. She has been 'raising awareness' for it, but pushing her 'specialised therapy' that has no objective evidence backing it's efficacy. Just one women claiming it helped her intermittent symptoms. I feel the progress they made there is being ruined by her clearly myopic view of DPD purely being behavioural and thus cured by therapy. Good job she's a pschycologist then

#29 forestx5

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 05:58 PM

"House of Cards, Psychology and Psychotherapy built on myth" by (then) Carnegie Mellon Professor Robyn Dawes is a great book that criticizes the psychology industry for what it is not.



#30 Broken

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 06:23 PM

Sounds good, will look into it.

 

I think it has merit to relationships and things like phobias and traumas. But with DPD physical causes have to be ruled out IMO. The symptoms are so wide and varied there has to be an objective measure. It is the only way mental health will progress as so many are misdiagnosed, and left in a box for the rest of their lives. Maybe we will see medical imaging used more often within my lifetime. I hope so



#31 forestx5

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 07:05 PM

Politics and economics have too much influence.  Too many universities are charging too much and awarding too many psychology degrees.  I wrote a nice letter to the first therapist who failed me, and also a nice letter to the hospital neurology department whose emergency room

and neurology department also failed me.  I just want them to think of what they might have done differently to preclude sentencing someone else to 40 years of suffering.

I don't expect to hear back.  They will  probably refer my letter to their legal office, to make sure their is no liability for their incompetence.



#32 Chip1021

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 02:11 AM

Politics and economics have too much influence. Too many universities are charging too much and awarding too many psychology degrees. I wrote a nice letter to the first therapist who failed me, and also a nice letter to the hospital neurology department whose emergency room
and neurology department also failed me. I just want them to think of what they might have done differently to preclude sentencing someone else to 40 years of suffering.
I don't expect to hear back. They will probably refer my letter to their legal office, to make sure their is no liability for their incompetence.

The problem with incompetence is that it's not considered so if they are applying accepted standard procedures. As long as they do that, they are acting with competence, regardless of the consequences.

#33 Broken

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 12:06 PM

Just going to update this thread. It has been 5 weeks now and it feels as though it is starting to work it's magic. I am sleeping much better although last night I had 2 nightmares which hasn't happened before... not sure what to think of that at the moment but it doesn't bother me too much. Just prefer to have my sleep uninterrupted. 

 

My appetite has returned in a good way as I generally don't eat enough. I usually wake up exhausted and nauseas with aches all over. I still have the aches but that seems to have improved slightly. I now always have breakfast which is a good thing. Could go hours without eating before.

 

In terms of DP/DR I feel there have been moments of a kind of coming together of senses. Hard to describe but it felt as though I can be aware of multiple senses at once more easily, ie my body and surroundings and sounds etc. I feel as though positive emotions are returning as well and am getting more enjoyment from things like food and films. I feel as though my DP is related to muscular tension and the freeze response and I believe Imipramine is helping with that slowly day by day I feel more relaxed generally speaking.

 

I would also add I am having hemp tea everyday as well a new CBD vape pen. There is approximately 1-3% CBD in hemp leaves so it is worth having a few cups a day. I also definitely notice the difference straight after having a puff on the vape pen. It relaxes me and this makes me more aware of my surroundings/body as well but the effect is more immediate and then sustained for some time. There is a study that suggests CBD works synergystically with antidepressants which I have found to be true. It is a pretty weak CBD vape as well at 100mg per 10ml of vape fluid and there are ones 5x as strong which I am looking forward to trying.

 

For me personally Imipramine has been the best drug of any I have tried (and I have tried a LOT including the usual modafinil, lamotrigine, escitalopram etc). I have only briefly tried a benzo which seemed to bring some relief but isn't a long term solution and made me foggy and didn't help my focus.

 

Imipramine really hasn't had any negative side effects for me whatsoever but I am on a relatively low dose of 100mg a day. But I am going to stick to that for the next two months as things seem to be progressing and I don't want to risk getting bad side effects. 



#34 ali3n

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 12:40 PM

thats so nice to hear and definitely a very good progress
thanks for keeping us updated

#35 Aridity

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 01:15 PM

I am really thinking about trying Clomipramine or this one if possible, I have seen many people experiencing benefit from it. But I am scared of weight gain



#36 DerealizedDutchie

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Posted 29 January 2019 - 05:19 AM

How are you holding up Broken?




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