Hey, all. Haven't been here for a long time, but recently, I've been in situations which made me think back to DP/DR...and all of you guys.
I remember back when I had DP/DR, I was VERY scared of being a schizophrenic or having psychosis and such...as many of you probably struggle with now.
Cutting to the chase: I don't believe many, if any of you have psychosis. How can I say this with certainty? My older sister was admitted to a psych ward last night, thanks to drug-induced psychosis. Here is how she acted:
1) Nothing was wrong with her. It was something wrong with everyone else, she was enlightened.
2) She kept jumping around, clapping, slamming doors and such to "chase something away".
3) In the middle of the night, she ran out into the backyard to "summon my guardian fox spirit!"
4) Extreme mood-swings, unlike anything I've ever seen...and I know a lot of bipolar people.
5) She didn't sleep the entire weekend.
6) Would ignore everyone or randomly sit down, stare into space, reacting with a "hush" if anyone spoke to her.
7) She thought she had some major mission she had to accomplish, and she was completely special.
Acting in ways that are in no way fitting to the situation she was currently in. Example: She scared the shit out of the youngest sister; smiling an laughing as a result.
9) Extremely hateful and violent to someone else. Attacked the youngest sister out of nowhere. I had to drag her away from her, which resulted in her scratching, kicking and whatnot...
10) Filled with rage as I grabbed her by her feet (cause she was kicking), and carried her away. Her angry statements made no sense.
11) Random singing, shouting, screaming, chanting and whispering.
12) Nothing she was asked about concerned her at all...AT ALL! Apparently it is COMPLETELY normal to be awake for several days, to randomly become enraged and sit and stare at something for hours without saying a word. It's also normal to go out at 3 AM to slam the cardoors and sit around and honk, not even reacting to being forcefully thrown out of the car. (Sorry, sis, but I was exhausted from trying to babysit you, and you making everything harder).
Do you feel anything in this list fits you? Does your family feel this is a description of you? Then see a doctor, please.
If not: Chances are you're not psychotic.
Some of you will probably doubt (as I also used to do)...here is a reinforcement: The above IS en example of a psychosis, which the doctors were so kind to inform us about.
Funnily enough: One thing helped her a lot..but it's an expensive thing: She became completely normal for a few hours when I gave her some hash I had lying around, a strain called afghan kush. (Very high on CBD, which is apparently a powerful anti-psychotic)
May you all relax a little bit now that you know you're (most likely) not psychotic.
God bless.
