10+ years of DR and I'm worse than ever. Falling into a black hole here. Seriously! - Discussion - Depersonalization Community

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10+ years of DR and I'm worse than ever. Falling into a black hole here. Seriously!


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#1 rob35235

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:35 PM

I have had DR since at least 2009, but to an extent longer than that.  You all know I've been around quite a while though maybe not so much lately.  I had a pretty decent remission during 2014-2017, but last October, for inexplicable reasons, my DR suddenly became drastically worse again, and it's been slowly, slowly slipping into a worse and worse presentation since then.  

 

Right now guys.  It's the middle of the afternoon, and I am just absolutely so out of it, that I truly question whether life is a dream.  For the first time I actually think this may be true, even though I know it's not.  

 

I have been begging God to help me.  My girlfriend doesn't know what to do.  My doctor is sending me for a new MRI of the brain.  

 

I can barely function anymore.  It's completely tortute.  I'm even having bad dreams.  I was cooking lunch earlier, and couldn't "see" the potatoes in front of me that I was peeling.  Don't even ask.  I was out in public the other day in a crowd, and everywhere just kind of melded together, and I felt as if I wasn't there. 

 

I have been getting strange feelings when I look at people, as if I can sense their aura.  Very schizo like or something, idk.

 

Man this is hard, I feel like I'm slipping in to psychosis!  Like this time is really it.



#2 Kyle450

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Posted 14 February 2018 - 03:35 PM

sorry to hear that your struggling mate, im new to depersonilzation and my partner is also new to me being this way too! not that I'm any expert, but schizophrenics are normally totally unaware they have schizophrenia I wouldn't worry too much, not that its going to make you feel much brighter, hope things ease up for you! go tell your girl you care and give her a hug and try take your mind off things :) hope things look up for you! 



#3 Pondererer

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Posted 14 February 2018 - 05:30 PM

  I was cooking lunch earlier, and couldn't "see" the potatoes in front of me that I was peeling.  

I know what you mean!



#4 Jomiar79

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Posted 20 February 2018 - 11:38 PM

Accept and desist, my friend. Follow the middle path... one day at a time. Mindfulness.



#5 TheStarter

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Posted 21 February 2018 - 03:20 AM

Accept and desist, my friend. Follow the middle path... one day at a time. Mindfulness.

 

Yes, this dreamy incoherent disjointed comment is gonna help him...

 

OT:

Rob, it's a very difficult situation you are in, i recognize the thought of questioning reality, in combination with DP and DR it can be very, very scary.

 

I'm usually against taking meds, because i see them as last resort, however, you seem to be so disturbed by your current perception of reality, that, i would say, it's time for medication.

I dont know if you already do take medication. Delusions like sensing someone's aura are no small matter; perhaps "sensing aura's" is your brain's way of making clear to you what impression it's getting from someone or how the ambiance feels to you, still, your brain should be just processing that information normally, however it's making you think you can feel aura's which is abnormal. Dont be afraid of the fact you got something abnormal, i've had it too and got rid of it, i was suffering from delusions myself for a short period of time. What helps me alot when im getting unrealistic, delusional thoughts is an antipsychotic called Haldol. I really wish i had any advice for you that didn't include medication, but from my own experience with weird unrealistic schizoid thoughts, Haldol killed those thoughts after 2 weeks.

 

 

PS: Rob, i remember you from my early dp years on this forum due to the John Lennon picture, hihi  :razz:



#6 rob35235

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Posted 09 March 2018 - 04:50 PM

Sup guys. I'm notorious for making threads and not following up.   So here we are  I had a few good days but mostly bad days since this post.   Today is hell but I have obligations.  Wish me luck.



#7 esroh

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Posted 10 March 2018 - 10:11 AM

im exactly the same, its tirture beyond words.i may as well be blind.

NOTHING happens around me






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