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Wish I had taken the blue pill.

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#13 PerfectFifth


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Posted 17 December 2018 - 02:28 PM

I still wish for a blue pill. Let me forget this experience, let me go back to being naive. Let me go back at being me. The guy who just lived just to live. The guy with a crazy imagination but that didnt get frightne by them...

No way. I'd never go back. 


Sure, it's a trade-off, but I see it as a good one. It's taken my mind to places I likely otherwise wouldn't have gone and shaped me into what I am today. Yes, the confusion and suffering has been arduous throughout the years, and still is, but it was/is a necessary process. I like this new, post-DR, version of myself much better than the old one. I'd rather be immensely aware and thoughtful yet suffering from DP/DR than healthy but more shallow and less aware. 


Though, it's impossible to say how I would've developed if DP/DR hadn't been a factor; it's impossible to say just how big of an impact it has had on me. It's a relevant question because there's no guarantee that I wouldn't be virtually the same person even without ever having had DP/DR. Hence, it's possible, though unlikely, that I've suffered for nothing and that the developments I see as positive can't be attributed to DP/DR. I'm inclined to think of it all positively, but it's possible that my perspective is distorted by bias that stems from: https://en.wikipedia...t_justification


Anyway, I'm in harmony with my thoughts and this existence. Why be afraid? Becoming more contemplative and inquisitive hasn't led to any kind of fear for me. I don't see any reason to be afraid. Things are what they are regardless of what I think about them. 


Bottom line: give me more red pills. 

#14 Internal_essence



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Posted 14 February 2019 - 12:55 AM

I completely understand out of experience!

I've come to realize that the only reason you are feeling any particular way is because it is the underlying beliefs you've accumulated about life, throughout your whole life. So it pretty much comes from your subconscious beliefs about life. As it is proven life is only a reflection of what you believe to be true, and after a spiritual awakening, I think what happens is it erases all illusion you believed to be true and leaves you the begotten truth that leaves you disappointed. 

i recommend watching this ted talk by Phil Borges 

That speech just goes into depth from what goes on with this belief. 

There is also some truth about your brain waves when indulging to much into spiritualism. If you heard about the analysis on monks brain, you realize that meditating and keeping a high frequency leaves your brain at around a gamma state which is around 40Hz. Which at a average level your brain should always remain at around 8-14Hz . Keeping the brain in such high frequency can cause delusion. It's always important to maintain at a homeostasis for all areas of your body to remain healthy. 

If you want to learn a little more about frequencies, i have made a blog about it in regards to the schumann resonance. https://yourfullpote...-consciousness/

I hope this helps!

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