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i think its over for me


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#1 lilnewk

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 12:26 PM

this is my third time having it. i had it for over a year the first time, 1 month the second and im on 2 months this time while being pregnant. i would rather have cancer or loss limbs than live with this again. medication fixed me last time and its not working this time. i love life and i have the most perfect life EVER but unfortunately im not willing to live in this world anymore if its has to be like this. I have 12 weeks until my baby and due and then i think its lights out for me. im scared and i want to live so bad but i cant like this. i dont know if its that it is worse this time or that my life is so perfect now and i cant be apart of it. i cant stand watching my life and not being apart of it anymore and i dont want to look at my baby boy and feel nothing when he is all i have ever wanted, its torture. 



#2 Justwantingtohelp

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 02:35 PM

Please, dear god, don't hurt yourself. I made an account and joined this site just so I could comment on your post. I found this site today for the firest time ever. This has to be some kind of fate. Please, let me convince you that the world and your life have more to offer than what you think now.

#3 lilnewk

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 07:14 PM

How ? I had this and got rid of it and changed my life completely. I was thankful for everything, I was happy, I got engaged, bought a house, got married, got pregnant and changed my eating and started working out. I changed everything for the better and I still got it again. I can’t even enjoy this amazing life i made and always wanted. The unknown is what makes it not worth it anymore. I’m not jumping back like I have before and it’s worse than ever, nothing’s working. I love my life but I’m not apart of it anymore. I feel alone and I can’t take care of a baby in this condition. In the end it’s better for everyone. My husband has been suffering seeing me suffer and has had to do everything and it’s going to get real old especially when the baby comes. :( I believe paxil helped me twice get threw it ( it helped right away last day so I got better and better and recovered in 1 month ) I got off when I got pregnant and when I went back on when this came back it did nothing at all for me. I’m on Prozac now and it’s not helping. I know I need meds to help me but none of them are.

#4 bigpwn

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 08:20 PM

Hey, have you checked if maybe you have vitamin/mineral deficiencies? Vitamin D maybe? Is it wintertime there?

If your life is amazing it could be something as simple as not enough sun, or not enough magnesium in your diet. Don't give up, you will get back on track soon, I'm sure of it.

#5 lilnewk

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 08:25 PM

Iv been taking tons of vitamins, thank you though. Iv Just lost all motivation this time having this. I’m not sure if that’s due to the medications not working this time but I need motivation or something to keep me doing and I just can’t find it.

#6 Cheffy

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 02:00 AM

My trigger was dieting and exercise. My bidy is sensitive to food deprivation fir some reason. i lessened my carb intake and this started.

I just brought healthy clean carbs like rice back 100 grams each day and i got much better right away. Memory and personality was back but not yet 100%.

Of course other factors triggered my dp like being away from home.

#7 surf

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 11:34 AM

Hi.  Please hold on and do not let go.  It sounds like you have a good life.  Don't let something like this take that from you.  You have recovered twice before, there is a good chance you will again.  2 months is not a long period of time to judge wether this will last or not.  And you have a baby on the way. 

 

I felt the need to post on your thread as recently a close friend of mine took her life.  She spoke of suicide, I never thought she really would, but she did, and she left behind a son who is one year old.  It is devastating for the child and for the family.  

 

Please hold onto life and have hope.  Please see a doctor and seek professional help if you need to.  

 

Here are some lifeline phone numbers you can call if you wish to: 

http://www.dpselfhel...icide-hotlines/

 

We are here for you the best we can be, feel free to message me anytime if you want to. 



#8 davinizi

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 02:52 PM

you stopped cold turkey on your previous med? Perhaps it's because of the withdrawal effects you're feeling



#9 lilnewk

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 04:09 PM

i went to the hospital and they stopped me cold turkey and i was begging for it



#10 surf

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 05:23 PM

i went to the hospital and they stopped me cold turkey and i was begging for it

 

What did they stop you cold turkey of?  What were you begging for? 



#11 lilnewk

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 06:14 PM

paxil 



#12 Lexy67

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 08:08 PM

I hope you’re feeling btr. But I undertsand if you don’t.

I understand how you feel badly about having pother ppl suffer that your husband has to do everything.

I was having a pretty god life until this problem resurfaced w a vengeance. I can’t do anything now; in terms of capabilities. But the worst part of it is not being able to connect to others.

I don’t know if you feel that way.




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